I don't get it

I don't get it;
What is it that you do?
What power is it that possesses me?
I need to stop my heart beating.
I can't no longer think of you.

You're not there anyway,
You're gone forever far away.
To a place where I can't see you,
Where I can't reach to you,
Where I can't hear your voice so soft.

Please stop haunting me!
So quietly,
So silently.
You are so unreachable,
You have always been.

No, don't leave me!
Stay with me,
Protect me.
I don't want the cold to dissapear,
I want to feel you next to me.

I know I know you
Better than everyone else.
I know that we belong together.
Though you're not among us any longer,
My soul will always long to yours.

I know my poetry is not as good as yours,
That my paintings are disastrous,
And that my music doesn't sound right.
But I don't envy you,
I couldn't know how to.

I love you,
I always wanted to tell you
How much you mean to me.
And I still don't get it;
What it is that you do to me.

But I don't mind.
Not at all.