One.

“Is Daryl not back yet?” Michonne asked worried. If there was someone who wasn’t worried that easily, it was Michonne. So when she would get worried about Daryl still not being back after what was now nearly eighteen hours, it was serious.

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Rick tried to convince Michonne not to worry, even though he didn’t even convince himself. What if Daryl wouldn’t come back? Maybe he ran into some trouble during his hunt or a herd of walkers got to him. He knew it wasn't a good idea to let Daryl go off alone into the words, but he just didn't feel like talking to Daryl today.

“Daryl can take care of himself. He’s going to be back and he’s going to be just fine.” It was Carl who walked into the living room, bouncing little Judith in his arms. Over the time being, he had begin to grow a lot closer to Daryl. Now that Carl was older and needed someone to talk to who wasn’t his dad, he often went to Daryl. The older man seemed to understand him and he never judged Carl. No matter what.

“Yeah, you’re right son. Daryl can handle himself.” Rick took Judith out of his sons hands and hugged her tightly. He couldn’t imagine what he would do if he’d ever find out that Daryl was hurt or worse, dead. It was hard now to imagine life without him. Especially for Rick.

Rick never told anyone, anyone including Daryl, but he had started to grow feelings for the archer. Not just any feelings. He wanted Daryl to be the one he woke up next to in the morning. He needed Daryl to be the last person he saw right before he fell asleep at night. But right now, Daryl wasn’t that person and Rick really doubted if he would ever be. Considering what happened before.

If Rick wanted anything to happen, he knew he had to make the first move. He didn’t know if Daryl felt the same way, but best case scenario was that he did, but even then Daryl wouldn’t do anything to express it. For a long time Rick thought that there was a good possibility that Daryl would feel the same way as he did, but he wasn't so sure anymore.

“When am I ever wrong?” Carl joked, hoping to make his dad not be as worried as he was. And Rick tried to laugh, he really did, but all he could think about how he didn’t say ‘be safe’ to Daryl this time. How he didn’t told Daryl he would see him soon, but most of all he regretted he didn’t kiss him when he had the chance. That he gave up so easily, just because he was afraid of getting rejected. But truth was, Daryl rejected him. He did. He may not have said anything, but his eyes said enough.

Last night, when everyone was already sleeping, Judith decided to wake up because she was in desperate need of attention. She cried for it, Rick knew that. He could tell her different kind of cries and he would have let her cry until she would fall back asleep by herself, if that wouldn’t wake up everybody else in the house. He couldn’t do that, not after the long day they had today.

“Sshh, Judy.” Rick took her out of the pink crib she was laying in and tiptoed out of his bedroom, past Carl’s and Glenn and Maggie’s. He walked down the stairs while rocking his daughter slightly. Rick was more than surprised when he saw a little light shining outside on the porch. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that it was Daryl who was sitting on the wooden floor of the porch.

Rick said nothing as came outside the house and left the door ajar. He quietly sat down beside Daryl. He was still trying to get his daughter to stop crying, but she was just not having it. She just kept crying.

“What’s wrong?” Daryl asked after a while of listening to the sobs of the little girl while staring into the darkness.

“She’s just trying me out. She’s seeing if crying gets her what she want. I know I shouldn’t pick her up if she’s like this, but-”

“I wasn’t talking about lil’ asskicker. I'm talking about you. What is up with you? You seem a little off today. You know she can sense that too.” Daryl wasn’t really good at talking, neither was he at expressing feelings, but he felt like Rick may have had the need to talk about it. So he would try, for Rick he’d try everything. Even if it would make him feel uncomfortable and awkward.

“It’s just that everything seems so good right now, that I can’t stop wondering for how long. How long will it take this time for things to get ugly again.” It was the best of an answer Rick could give Daryl without scaring him. It was most of the truth anyway, except that things weren’t good, they were slightly okay for Rick. They were in a good place right now and they didn’t have to sleep with one eye open anymore. Everyone had settled in and started to live a little instead of just survive, but Rick hadn’t. Not yet.

“It’s scary. I get it. This may not last for ever, it can be over by next week, but that’s why you should enjoy it. I know you don’t let your guard down, ever, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get to be happy. After what you’ve been through, you deserve that most out of all of us. Don’t worry about tomorrow, when right now is what you got.” That were a lot of words coming out of Daryl’s mouth. Rick thought that it might be the most he’d said in an entire day and it all made perfect sense. Even though he felt like Daryl needed those words just as much as he did.

Rick didn’t know if he had tomorrow or next week, but he had now. He had this moment, here with Daryl. He had a strong son who wasn’t scared and a beautiful daughter who had fallen asleep listening to Daryl talk. Maybe right now was just as good as any time to let Daryl know how he felt. He could think about Daryl’s reaction forever, but he’d never find out if he never made a move.

And so Rick started to lean in, just slightly, but enough for both of them to realize what was next. His eyes met Daryl’s and he just couldn’t take them of again. He kept looking and those gorgeous eyes but what he saw wasn't all that pretty at all. He saw fear, confusion and a little bit of awkwardness in Daryl's eyes.

“I’m gonna bring Judith back to bed.” Rick stood up and he headed back inside as fast as he could. He had been so stupid. He could he even think that Daryl wanted him to kiss him. He had misread all that signs Daryl had given him, because he wanted it so bad. All of it may just have been inside his head.

As Rick relived that moment, he hoped Daryl would be save and things could be worked out between them. Because since that awkward encounter yesterday, the two of them had not spoken to each other. Rick hadn't say anything because he simply didn't know how to act. Did he pretend it didn't happen or should he apologize? Maybe it was the fear of rejection that made him see things or maybe Daryl was just scared Rick would hurt him. Or maybe he really didn't like Rick the way Rick liked him. But Rick was still in denial, so he'd like to push that thought out of the way for now. He would face that when he was ready for it.

“Guys, you need to come with me. It’s Daryl. He’s back.”

“Is he okay, Tara?”

“Just come with me, please.”