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you wanna know what happens when you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work, finding her baby death and she screams and runs over to you trying to wake you up, shaking you, but you won't. and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping into your face and she keeps screaming and crying until your dad comes home and hears all the noise, getting worried sick himself. he runs into the room and can't even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. the person she looked up to and loved, the person she bragged about to her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up. the person that made her feel safe. but she's never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she'll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. Now there is something missing from your family and they can't even look at eachother anymore because everything reminds them of you but you're gone and that hurts more than anything. you think your mom never cared because she was always busy yelling at you and she forgot to say i love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn't leave the house anymore, she can't even get out of bed and she's getting thinner and thinner because it's too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job because he can't sleep anymore. everytime he closes his eyes he sees his baby, his child, dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks.
and then at school. your best friend sees your empty seat and deep down she has this weird feeling something's wrong, but it wasn't until the principal told the news she realized that you're gone forever. and suddenly she's screaming and crying in the middle of class because you killed yourself and nobody even bothers comforting her because they're all busy sitting there staring at your emty seat with tears in their eyes. all your best friend wants from you is for you to hug her and tell her it's gonna be okay - like you always did. but you won't because you're gone. you're not there for her and suddenly everything is dark and scary. her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ends up in the hospital after taking too many pills to ease the pain of losing you. all those people who gave you a hard time or made fun of you? they're all in therapy now - trying so hard not to blame themselves. but nothing works because you're gone and you're not coming back. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or not, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you're gone, and they miss you, and they don't know why you left but it must've been their fault and they should've stopped you and they should've told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to get away. And so you killed yourself.

but you killed everyone around you too.