In Short
In Short
I am a daughter
To a father who is a pedophile/psychopath and a mother who couldn't protect me
I am a sister
To three siblings, one sister and two brothers
I am a mother
To my little inner child, who is my reason to keep on living
I come from physical abuse
Years by the hands of a step mother who hated me, and a father who just watched from the distance
I come from mental and emotional abuse
Loved one second, hated another, and told over and over again how bad, worthless and unneeded I am
I come from sexual abuse
Scary nights learning things I shouldn't of learned so young, no one believing me
I locked away the pain
And started cutting
I stopped smiling
And learned to fake my way through life
I got addicted
Running from my heart with drugs and alcohol
I am not my father, I am my mother
But my biggest fear is that deep down I am
I wished for death and attempted so many times
The Grim Reaper must really hate me
I am not religious
God has forsaken me years ago
I have watched my own blood flow
And sometimes that self inflicted pain is what got me though my day
I don't know what true love is
But I can pretend
I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Borderline
Fun huh?
I try my best to do what's right for my family
But sometimes I wonder if I am what's right for them
I self mutilate, I get depressed, I get emotional, I get suicidal
If I medicate all I can do is sleep, so I stress trying to do it on my own
I know next time I drive down the highway I'll think
If I only wasn't drugged… I'd close my eyes and say my last goodbyes
Er zijn nog geen reacties.