Perservering

It is one of those times.
One of those days.
Days where the sun never seems to show.
But the darkness never arrives.
Where my feelings seem to be stuck in bardo.

It is not because I'm unmotivated, or is it?
Or is it because I simply don't want it? Or not want it enough that I'm unable to fight it.
Maybe I'm weak.
Or maybe I'm strong that I persevere through another day, only getting more uncertain about the future.
Lands crackling and tearing below me. Me holding on an edge... Still trying... Still existing... Still caring for the people around me...
And yet... The tearing and crackling... It's not just the ground, it's me.
How to stop the crevices that are digging deeper into my soul? While everyone seems to stare hoping I make it... somewhere... Pressure building up, my mind slowly losing and yet it still wants to be set free.
The light shines brighter, but with a cracked bulb it shatters... Pieces glittering through the sky the lamp blinking... dying out...

But yet... I'm still here. Fighting, internally... Hoping to find a resolution, a solution that works.
That's all I hope.

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