• CYNICAL'S LAYOUT SHOP
    ρяσƒιℓєѕ × ¢нαяα¢тєя ƒιℓєѕ × ѕтσяιєѕ


    COME BY!


    COME BUY!




    Oh, hallo daar!
    Welkom in mijn layout shop!


    Het is alweer een tijdje terug sinds ik laatst zo'n soort topic heb beheerd, maar aangezien ik de laatste tijd belachelijk veel layouts heb gecreëerd, leek het me een poging waard. Ik maak layouts voor profielen, roleplay personages en stories. Vraag gerust aan, maar lees wel eerst de gebruiksaanwijzingen!
    MINIMALISM      IS      DEAD!!
    LONG LIVE TACKY EXTRAVAGANCE!!

    WAT IK NODIG HEB VAN JOU:
    Nu zijn mijn layouts gratis, maar ik heb wel een richting nodig om te weten waar je naar op zoek bent. Het invullen van het onderstaande kan me daar hopelijk mee helpen.

    STORY LAYOUTS
    Vul het lijstje onder de spoiler in en comment dat.
    x      Wat is de titel van je verhaal, en moet die erop?
    x      Welk genre is je verhaal?
    x      Wat is de flaptekst die je erop wilt?
    x      Als je flaptekst kort en out of context is, waar gaat je verhaal over? (Zodat ik dit mogelijk kan verwerken in de sfeer)
    x      Is er nog overige tekst die erop moet? (Quotes, waarschuwingen, etc.)
    x      Wat voor sfeer wil je graag?
    x      Zijn er plaatjes die er persé op moeten? (Zoals bijvoorbeeld een cover)
    x      Zo niet, wat voor plaatjes zou je graag willen?
    x      Hoe extravagant moet de layout zijn? (Simpel, gemiddeld, of extreem?)


    CHARACTER FILE LAYOUTS
    Vul het lijstje onder de spoiler in en comment dat. (Also ik houd van je)
    x      Geef me het lijstje dat je gemaakt hebt met alle tekst erin. (Naam, leeftijd, persoonlijkheid, etc.) Ik kan dit niet voor je schrijven, ik kan het alleen ordenen.
    x      Heb je een faceclaim? Zo ja, wie? (Als je alleen een paar plaatjes hebt zonder naam, kun je deze ook bijvoegen)
    x      Wat zijn quotes die ik bij zou kunnen voegen? (Als je niks specifieks hebt, kun je me een algemene richting geven)
    x      Wat voor kleurenschema wil je?
    x      Wat voor sfeer/aesthetic moet ik gebruiken?
    x      Zijn er specifieke plaatjes die erin moeten?
    x      Hoe extravagant moet de layout zijn? (Simpel, gemiddeld, of extreem?) (Hoe langer je file, hoe extravaganter ik de layout kan maken)


    PROFILE LAYOUTS
    Vul het lijstje onder de spoiler in en comment dat.
    x      Wat zijn een aantal thema's die je graag op je profiel zou hebben?
    x      Wat is tekst die je er graag op zou hebben? (Zoals bijv. een introductie of quotes)
    x      Zijn er specifieke plaatjes die je erop zou willen hebben?
    x      Zo nee, wat voor sfeer wil je graag?
    x      Hoe extravagant moet de layout zijn? (Simpel, gemiddeld, of extreem?) (Hoe meer tekst ik heb, hoe extravaganter ik je profiel kan maken)

    LONG LIVE BAD TASTE!!



    VOORBEELDEN VAN MIJN LAYOUTS:
    [Onder de spoiler.]

    STORY LAYOUTS
    Deze layouts passen over het algemeen beter in stories zelf (vanwege de breedte die daar anders is dan op het forum), dus hier is een link naar mijn story layouts: Klik.


    CHARACTER FILE LAYOUTS
    WAARSCHUWING: Lees de volledige files maar niet grondig door, de meeste personages die ik zelf maak bevatten mogelijk triggerende informatie (en zijn relatief persoonlijk). Het gaat puur om de layout.

    Doll Little


    dOll little

    DOLL LITTLE DISTRICT 9 17 YEARS OLD


    NAME:

    FIRST NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAMES:
    Doll
    Little
    The Real Life Doll


    [word name]
    [word name]
    Capitol nickname
    Doll is the owner of a rather odd sounding name, and thus it is generally assumed to be a nickname of some sort. People have often asked them whether their full name is Dorothy, Dorcas, Dolly, or anything in that direction, but the answer to that would be no. Their legal caretaker never quite viewed Doll as human enough for a normal sounding name. Doll doesn't know if they have an opinion on this, though they could accept Dorcas to be used as their name instead by close friends, as a sign of affection, in the sense of assurance that they're perceived as equal to them.


    AGE:
    AGE:
    Gemini Sun

    17 years old
    Capricorn Rising

    June 12
    Scorpio Moon
    Doll tends to feel much younger than they are, yet they come off as very mature for their age. Both of these are results of severe childhood trauma. Doll likes astrology and at times is better at remembering their signs than their actual age.

    GENDER:
    Doll doesn't feel truly comfortable in any typical gender role, nor do they feel as though they have a gender. They kind of accept all possible pronouns, though they use they/them for themself, and are usually referred to with she/her. They are assigned female at birth and generally forced to present very femininely.


    SEXUALITY:
    Doll has never thought about specific labels and until recently thought they weren't actually capable of attraction - not perceiving themself as human enough for such. They have now, however, settled on the idea that they can experience attraction to any gender, with a preference for feminity. The labels "asexual panromantic" would be most fitting, though the closest word Doll knows is "lesbian".
























    I THINK I AM A LITTLE BIT IN LOVE WITH YOU


    ♥ I AM A DISGUSTING GIRL ♥



    PERSONALITY:
    MBTI PERSONALITY TYPE: INFP -T







    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    Intelligent
    Imaginative
    Cunning
    Analytical
    Charming
    Empathic
    Perceptive







    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    Anxious
    Detached
    Cynical
    People-pleasing
    Meek
    Manipulative
    Disorganized
















    Doll is an... Interesting person, if you are a psychiatrist. It is a bit difficult to say who they are exactly (and they probably don't really know themself), for they tend to present themself in the way that they believe is most desired. Masks upon masks upon masks, usually obedient and quiet, only speaking when spoken to and apologizing often - though they can also be talkative and witty if that seems to be the required attitude. Doll is... Observing. They tend to very carefully analyze what the people around them want and then give them such. They are anxious and distrusting, expecting punishment from any little thing they'd do. Most of the time, Doll is so stuck on surviving that they are detached from everything around them, causing them to feel very muted emotions and not build any relationships with those around them. This perpetual dissociation often makes Doll feel like they may not have a personality at all. Their self esteem is low and they may struggle making independent decisions due to the fear of angering others. Doll themself is usually angry, too. They are often angry and feel very out of control in their life - this feeling is, of course, perpetuated by their difficulty ignoring other people's opinions, because in Doll's eyes, these opinions are genuine threats. Whenever Doll would be a bit more honest around others, this will show in cynicism and dark humor. Doll can be rather funny in this way even if their humor is rather bitter and a tad morbid. Doll is intelligent whenever they have room to think and great at deduction. They are sneaky and never take a direct approach to things, even when it seems like they do, their actions are polished and sugarcoated.
    - - - - - - - - - WHAT IF NONE OF THIS IS REAL? - - - - - - - - -

    ‘It’s beautiful,’ Doll says, and that’s true. The master’s dress is beautiful, and Rose’s hairstyle is beautiful, and Doll is a thing of white cloth and stuffing. No one would say that the body of a doll before it is finished is beautiful.

    - - - - - - - - - WHAT IF I'M LOSING MY MIND? - - - - - - - - -



    PAST:
    TRIGGER WARNING:
    Abuse, torture, brainwashing, sex trafficking

    Doll's past is not much like that of most other people in District 9. They were adopted as a baby by a dollmaker and cult leader, Hansen Little. He was rich, but not particularly a caretaker one might wish to have. He lives in a house where he (and his cult) raise children to be human dolls - obedient, pretty, and mindless, most likely for sex trafficking at some point, though Doll isn't too sure on this (they don't quite want to know either once they realize just how much is wrong with their upbringing). Doll was exposed to severe abuse very early in the name of discipline and brainwashing, which could include being locked up in cupboards, starvation, sleep deprivation, and actual waterboarding. Usually these treatments were as punishments, and often over minor mistakes or things their abusers didn't like - though there were also instances where there was no reason at all. Doll learned to do only as told without protest or anything that could be perceived as impolite or unwanted. There is not much I can specify on this. Doll didn't form any close relationships with anyone aside from their few nannies nor did they have much space to develop themself as a person. They sometimes went to school, but never befriended anyone, and were left mostly alone by others as well. Doll was allowed to read and learn things that wouldn't inconvenience the cult, so they spent most of their free time alone with that, though they don't have much of it.

    DON'T LISTEN TO A WORD I SAY

    APPEARANCE:
    Doll is about 166 cm/5'6" ft tall and of petite frame. They are somewhat underweight, but likely not as much as others in their district. Doll is extremely pale due to never coming outside and has visible eyebags that never seem to truly fade. They have large brown eyes that tend to be either empty or frightened, a small nose, somewhat plump lips, and the vaguest hints of freckles spread across their cheeks. Doll's hair is brown, wavy, and reaches to about their mid-back. Whenever they go to sleep it is braided, otherwise, the hairstyle depends on Doll's nanny. Doll cuts it off during their stay in the Capitol during a mental breakdown, their stylists fix it and turn it into a shaggy wolfcut that reaches Doll's shoulders. Doll is made to wear traditionally feminine, doll like clothing, mostly containing dresses with stockings.
    During their stay at the Capitol, Doll takes a liking to denim jeans and white shirts.
















    IT'S SO COLD, ALL THE TIME

    They stare. Everything feels unreal. They feel like they are floating. Like everything else, the toilet, the sink, might detach from the floor and start floating too. Like the ceiling might be shrinking in on itself, the room becoming smaller, until the walls can’t bear the strain and detach from the floor, and everything might start floating, attached to nothing. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    FAMILY:
    Hansen Little / The Master / The Dollmaker [47] | Caretaker
    Doll never addresses Hansen Little with his real name. It is usually "sir", "the master", and very few times, "the dollmaker". They aren't very close to him. He is, legally, their caretaker, but in practice, he barely spends time with any of the children he has adopted. Instead, he remains in his quarters, where Doll is not allowed to come without an invitation from the master himself. Doll doesn't know the man very well - they know nothing of his youth or any such thing, and only truly know him as a superior who can hurt them very badly if they aren't careful. Doll doesn't hate the master, though - which is probably Stockholm syndrome more than anything else, but that's besides the point.

    ♥ I AM A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER ♥

    Rose [29] | Nanny
    Rose is currently Doll's nanny. Rose is a pretty woman, delicate, in her late twenties. She has soft brown eyes, light brown hair, pulled back but with wisps framing her face, and a smile that is too small and too permanent to be kind. Doll is as terrified of her as anyone else in the house, but they're grateful for her for she is much kinder than previous nannies they've had.


    ♥ I AM BROKEN PORCELAIN ♥
    ALLIES:
    Doll is in an alliance initiated by Michael Cady, the male tribute of District 6, based purely on the fact that the only tributes he remembered were all from district numbers in the table of three.

    -      VICI CARTWRIGHT [D3, 16 Y/O]
    -      LUMEN CARTWRIGHT [D3, 12 Y/O]
    -      MICHAEL CADY [D6, 17 Y/O]
    -      BELLFLOWER COLEMAN [D12, 15 Y/O]
    -      JACKDAW WEBB [D12, 17 Y/O]


    - - - - - - - - - I CANNOT AFFORD TO SCREAM - - - - - - - - -




    SKILLS:
    Now, I think it is no surprise to anyone that Doll never got to train with weapons or anything that could help them in physical combat. Technically, they didn't even have the space to learn how to make fire or even put on their own clothes. All of this combined makes for rather easy prey. Yet, Doll does have some skills that helps them in the arena.

    -      PLANTS:
    Books about plants were never forbidden to read. Doll was at some point allowed to do so freely, without asking, and thus they know quite a bit about edible and poisonous plants - and their symbolic meanings. They could likely recognize them in the wild.
    -      SECRET CODE / DECIPHERING:
    When every aspect of your life is controlled, hiding parts of it from your caretakers is tempting. Doll is great at languages, including code, and translating them. They have been doing so ever since they were introduced to the concept.
    -      DEDUCTION:
    As mentioned before, Doll is good at analyzing and deducting things. Though they never had the opportunity to learn official terms, both psychoanalysis and deduction in the sense of "whodunnit" is both fun and relatively easy to them.
    -      HIDING:
    When your caretakers are dangerous, you learn how to be very quiet and still while hiding from them.
    -      CONSTITUTION:
    Doll has a rather high pain tolerance due to the abuse they endured all their life. They might be able to take torture longer than usual.
    -      INTELLIGENCE:
    Doll may not be very physically capable, they are incredibly smart. It would depend a bit on their resources how well this shows, but if they are in a position where they dare to take initiative, it could mean that they are good at designing traps, for example.
    -      CHARM:
    This has also been said before, but Doll is both attractive and polite, and they're also rather good at being what is most desired of them, which tends to make people listen to them more than they might to the average person.
    - - - - - - - - - I CANNOT AFFORD TO CRY - - - - - - - - -

    MENTAL HEALTH:
    If ever sent to a psychiatrist, Doll would likely be diagnosed with C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder), OSDD-3 (other specified dissociative disorder type 3), autism, ADD, chronic depression, and a social anxiety disorder.


    EXTRA:
    -      FEARS:
    Failure, punishment, adults, water (because of waterboarding - this mostly shows itself in a fear for showering), medical treatments, abandonment, close relationships, being treated respectfully (because they are afraid to disappoint).
    -      INTERESTS:
    Language, story telling, music (they can sing rather well), psychology (once introduced to the concept).

    I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU KILLED ME AT FIRST




    Mallory Todd





    Horror
    17 years old | Chaotic Evil
    I AM NOT HUMAN

    D

    E

    V

    I

    L
    Name
    FIRST NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAMES:
    ALIAS (1):
    ALIAS (2):
    Mallory
    Todd
    Mal
    Horror
    Nannie Philips
    Unhappy / Unlucky
    Fox
    Bad
    An intense feeling of fear
    "God favored me"
    Horror rarely, if ever, uses her real name unless necessary. She's much more comfortable introducing herself with an alias, so that's how we'll be addressing her here.


    Age
    AGE:
    GEMINI SUN
    17 years old
    Capricorn Rising
    June 12
    Scorpio Moon
    Horror doesn't really connect with her age very much. If the person she's speaking to is dumb enough to believe her, she might claim to have no age at all.

    ``May the worms eat your eyes out before you reach the mouth of Hell.``


    Gender
    Horror is agender, meaning that she has no gender, but is alright with any pronouns. For simplicity, we'll be using she/her in this, but any pronouns are allowed.


    Sexuality
    Horror is asexual and aromantic, meaning that she experiences no sexual or romantic attraction to anyone at all. She's sex-repulsed, too. She thinks that the idea of sex is laughable and mildly disgusting.

    ``I'll gut you in front of my kingdom.``


    A R S O N


    M U R D E R

    I'LL SMILE TO SHOW YOU MY TEETH


    Personality
    [ YANGIRE × TSUNDERE × YANDERE ]
    Positive traits:
    💉 Intelligent
    🔪 Imaginative
    💀 Cunning
    🔨 Likes learning
    💉 Has a strong sense of justice
    🔪 Funny
    💀 Protective
    Negative traits:
    💉 Irritable
    🔪 Manipulative
    💀 Cruel
    🔨 Aggressive
    💉 Spiteful
    🔪 Obsessive
    💀 Impulsive

    ``Intimidating others by just texting as myself is so fucking funny.``


          It is unlikely that you'll meet Horror as her "true self" when first interacting with her - and you should be glad about that. Horror can be a genuinely likable person, but prefers not to be, just to spite social expectations and humanity in general. Reputations and intentions aside, Horror is a clever person. She is perceptive and good at reading other people, even if her cynicism may meddle with her analyses. She has a large vocabulary and is a good debater, unafraid of conflict and sharp as she is. Horror can be philosophical and a bit pretentious – though admittedly, she truly is creative and above-average intelligent.
    Upon meeting her, she'll come off as a bit inhibited and potentially passive-aggressive if you look well enough. However, whenever she bothers trying, she's rather charming and potentially overly polite to the point that it gets a goofy effect that may or may not draw people in.
    Horror is a good actor and manipulator. She doesn't generally use this for unsavory purposes, even if she might like to, but she is unbelievably good at winning people's trust and getting close to them without harboring any personal feelings for them. Her social life is largely faked and she doesn't like many people in actuality.
    Horror likes to rant and loves opportunities to fight, insult people, or be violent somehow. She's quick to be angered and feels very protective over the few people she does feel close to, often jealous whenever they spend time with other people. Horror can be obsessive over people, subjects, and things to dislike. She has a strong sense of justice and although her moral compass is grey at best, she still holds the morals that she has in very high regards, even if they're relatively nuanced.
    Horror is ambiverted leaning towards introversion.


    ``I want to cry. Or stab someone.``
    I BITE AT THE HAND THAT FEEDS ME
    ``You do know that no respected psychiatrist has used the term “sociopath” since the 1960s, right?``

    SLAP AT THE FACE THAT EATS ME

    Appearance
          Horror is a pretty person for sure. She has a certain frailness about her despite her somewhat aggressive attitude, which often leads to people underestimating her. Horror has an oval-shaped face with high cheekbones and a small chin, large monolid dark eyes, a small nose, and plump lips. Her face appeases East-Asian beauty standards perfectly, something that she can easily take advantage of. She's pale with no imperfections to her face aside from a small beauty fleck high on her cheek. She has long straight black hair with a fringe that she mostly wears loose or in braids. She looks somewhat doll-like, which can both make it easier for people to like her, and harder.
    Horror is about 5'5" ft tall and rather skinny. She has a bony look to her which gives her a sharp edge. Her body is rather androgynous.
    Normally, Horror wears dark eyeliner to appear a little rougher and darker, as well as mall goth clothes, featuring black, red, and white as a color palette. She likes to wear wide-legged pants but may also wear skirts or dresses to appear a bit more feminine and sweet. She likes platforms and boots but may also wear mary-janes if it fits her outfit.
    Horror has a rather masculine and laid-back attitude, which, mixed with her feminine and delicate appearance, can be confusing to some.
    I'M HAPPY THAT THE WORLD IS GONNA END
    Past
          Horror didn't grow up in the best circumstances for a child to develop. Both of her parents happened to be extremely abusive, yet unaware of the effect they had on their children, often exploiting their emotions in order to control them. Horror tried to spend most of her time away from home and her parents, locking herself in her room and avoiding her family on days that she wasn't allowed to be out. She didn't make too many friends as a child, feeling detached from her peers and often starting fights to deal with all the emotional turmoil she got from her home life. She was known as a troubled child who often walked away from home and said rude things, and was thus not liked by many.
    At ten, she met her best friend, Sarah, and within a year she grew madly attached to her. Horror spent more and more time with her and felt confused by the fondness she harbored for the other girl, but got over the initial surprise of attachment soon enough.
    When Horror discovered that Sarah was being sexually abused she contemplated murder. At sixteen she went through with it and successfully killed Sarah’s abuser, shocked and betrayed that Sarah wasn't as receptive to this as hoped, and then had to run away from home in order not to be arrested.
    Horror met a psychiatrist who was charmed by her personality and took her in as a surrogate daughter. Horror is still living with him today and trying to apply to university for forensic science and criminology.


    ``The worst monsters are those who wear human skin, watching through our very own sockets.``


    Mental health
          Horror has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), which is unprofessionally known as “sociopathy”. ASPD is a disorder wherein the patient shows a disregard for social norms and expectations, has low empathy and remorse, impulsivity, proneness to boredom, and irritability. For Horror, ASPD also comes with dissociative symptoms and many intrusive violent thoughts. She doesn’t feel remorse, guilt, or shame at all, and the closest thought she might get to feeling bad about her actions is, “Does this make me a bad person?” rather than “I hurt someone and that’s bad”. Horror can mimic empathy but doesn’t experience it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she can’t care about others, she just cares about people differently, often in a way that makes her more in control.
    Horror’s manipulative tendencies and leeching off of people can also be blamed on her ASPD. She developed ASPD because of the emotional abuse she faced as a child that conditioned her into believing that guilt never came at reasonable moments and that her emotions would only be used against her.
    She also has C-PTSD from her parents’ treatment.


    ``They look like us, talk like us, smell like us - it's almost as if we are them before awareness hits.``


    CANNIBALISM

    THIS AIN'T A STORY, CUNT, THIS IS MY LIFE


    ``First testimony wrath isn't for everyone, but I myself greatly enjoy it.``
    I WON'T LET GO TIL I CAN TASTE YOUR BONES
    Gift
          It’s a bit difficult to name Horror’s gift as something other than “highly unstable witchcraft”, even if it’s more specific than that. Perhaps the name “reality programming” would somewhat fit, but it’s a bit vague and complex and she doesn’t fully understand it herself. She holds control over some parts of it, but unfortunately for her, these moments of control come periodically.
    Horror has a rather broad gift that can influence many things at once.
    Firstly, she can “reset” time. Basically, whenever she dies, she jumps back in time to the moment before her death that decided this faith, and she can then fix her mistake. The more violent her death, the further she jumps back in time. She generally doesn’t even have to consciously experience her death, for she’ll jump back before it starts to register completely. Another gift she has is to “hack” reality, which can present itself in several different ways. She might speak to entities from other realities (“hackers”), she might have her dreams start to affect reality, she might destroy or fix things depending on her emotions, she might be able to use telepathy or suddenly achieve information without doing anything to uncover it. It’s as if she changes coding or accidentally opens files sometimes – when perceiving reality as a computer program, that is. Horror can sometimes use this to her advantage, but many times it’ll just appear and disappear. She isn’t fully aware that her gift is unusual. Often, things will turn disturbing and nightmarish once she gets a hold on reality, because this generally happens whenever she’s upset. It’s as if she pulls the whole world with her into a nightmare or intrusive image.


    ``Burn the witch!``

    I PROPOSE FIRST-DEGREE MURDER
    Related
    PARENTS: Oliver Todd (father, 54 y/o), Katelyn Harper-Todd (mother, 51 y/o). Horror hates them both with a burning passion and intends on killing them one day.
    SIBLINGS: Stephen Todd (brother, 19 y/o), Violet Todd (sister, 14 y/o), Lauren Todd (brother, 10 y/o). Horror doesn’t really like Stephen and Violet, but did use to like Lauren a lot. She sometimes misses him.


    ``She’ll pluck out your eye and put it in her fucking socket.``

    Relations
    CLODWAL PHILIPS | CAREGIVER | 44 Y/O
    A psychiatrist who unofficially adopted Horror. Horror suspects that Clodwal might be a serial killer due to the rooms where she isn’t allowed to enter (including the basement), his knowledge of forensic science, and his ease with breaking the law to adopt her. She doesn’t particularly mind this, though, for she likes him as a person and feels much safer around him than she ever did with her biological parents. Besides – she can't risk him spilling her secret.

    SARAH GREENWOOD | EX-BEST FRIEND | 17 Y/O
    Regarding platonic crushes, Sarah probably was one for Horror. Horror had never felt as close to a person as she’d ever felt to Sarah, and also never as betrayed when someone broke off a friendship with her. Horror doesn’t feel vengeful or angry towards her, though, and hopes that the criminal act she took part in for her has made Sarah’s life easier. Sarah is a socially anxious teenager with a great deal of empathy, even for people who are deemed unsavory, and Horror thinks that that is a beautiful thing.

    OTHER FRIENDS
    Feel free to volunteer. Horror is a surprisingly good friend when she actually likes you. She doesn’t bond easily with people, but when she does, it can be to a rather extreme extent, and she’s quite loyal as well.


    ``Set them on fire! Kill them all!``
    GOD IS CRUEL, I AM GOD
    Skills
    FORENSIC SCIENCE
    Horror is still learning forensics, but finds it deeply interesting to pick crime scenes apart and make sense out of them. She knows quite some information on the decomposition process of a corpse and causes of death.

    PSYCHOLOGY + PSYCHOANALYSIS
    Horror finds psychology interesting and spends a lot of time researching it. She knows a lot of terms and pathology on this, as well as manipulation tactics and body language. Horror can pick apart behaviors and people quite well and interpret them correctly. She’s extremely good at psychoanalyzing people and it can both impress, intimidate, and annoy her peers.

    WEAPONRY + TORTURE
    Now, Horror can’t use every single weapon she knows, but she knows the theory behind it. The same goes for torture methods and hypnosis. She’s never had an opportunity to practice these things, but she knows the different purposes of different sorts of blades, firearms, etcetera and enjoys talking about it.

    MURDER
    Horror has killed someone once through trial and error – she died four times during her attempts and had to do it over. She’s relatively good at finding effective methods now, but is still learning and has found out that she’s not the best killer out there yet.

    DEDUCTION
    Logic, cause and effect, and all that are really Horror’s thing. She could make a great detective and it’s a pity that she is more interested in taking lives than saving them.

    DEBATING
    As mentioned before, Horror has a sharp tongue and quick wit. She’s an excellent debater and advocate. Her biggest issue that she might argue from a view she doesn’t agree with out of boredom and accidentally convince people of said viewpoint.


    ``Your eyes betrayed you.``



    EVERYTHING GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN


    THE NEXT SCREAM YOU HEAR MAY JUST BE YOUR OWN
    Extra
    LIKES: Metal & rock music, poorly written stories, history, murder mysteries, horror, making fun of criminals, animals, demons, ranting, vampires, alternative fashion, collecting dead things, advocating for violence, staying inside and doing nothing all day, dichotomies
    DISLIKES: Her parents, Stephen and Violet, the government, the police, stupid people, people who are poor liars, people who trauma dump, most people in general actually, Christian values, being talked over, boredom, rude people, poor portrayals of mental illness, attention seekers (that’s for her alone), overly sensitive people, clingy people
    FEARS: Horror has some terrible commitment and abandonment issues that can be triggered relatively easily. Now, most of her other triggers will cause anger rather than fear, but her parents and the idea of having to go back to them do upset them. She also fears control loss (though not very much) and uncertainty to some extent.
    FAVORITE COLOR: Red. Horror loves red. A lot.
    FAVORITE ANIMAL: Horror could give you many different answers to that question, because, in reality, she likes pretty much all animals. Including insects.
    FAVORITE BOOK: None in particular. You see, Horror likes bad stories, not good ones. Good stories require an attention span that Horror doesn’t have. She somewhat likes “The Shining” by Stephen King and “Dracula” by Bram Stoker, but isn’t extremely enthusiastic about either of them in particular because she never even managed to read them thoroughly.
    ``What do you believe when nobody is watching?``


    PROFILE LAYOUTS
    Mijn huidige profiel


    CYNICISM
    people are motivated purely by self-interest


    Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry.
    All that blood was never once beautiful, it was just red.


    🐞      there is more information provided regarding this user underneath the spoiler to keep the lay-out intact.      🦷

    hello there, it's your friendly neighborhood mentally ill writer who doesn't publish any writing.
    my name is cynical, i am 18, and i have stuck to this site like a fly to a spider's web for quite a while now. i'm mostly keeping my sticky legs attached to it because making pretty lay-outs makes me happy, and because a lot of my old (deactivated) writing is preserved on here and i enjoy to self reflect.
    some of my interests contain horror, hannibal, death note, psychology, and forensic science.
    if you message me i may or may not respond. i can't guarantee much of anything.

    anyway, my two semi-active friends on here are: kriss & ana, and the rest died with the rest of the site. (if you happen to be one of them, you may seek contact with me at any time, i won't think it's weird. i'm interested to see where you are in life now.) (oh also bug is my partner and i love them very much okay that's it bye)


    and no, i don't type nederlands
















    WACHTLIJST:
    [MOMENTEEL GESLOTEN]

    1.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    2.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    3.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    4.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    5.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    6.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file











    NOTE:
    Qreaties verandert constant de specifieke desktop verhoudingen, dus gaan mijn layouts na een tijdje altijd schots en scheef staan. Niet alle lettertypes die ik gebruik staan op ieders computer, en ook die kunnen er dus saai uitzien zonder dat ik hier enig idee van heb. Ik ben te lui om oude dingen te fixen die in dit topic staan, maar ooit paste alle tekst met de plaatjes zonder lelijk te zijn, I swear

    [ bericht aangepast op 19 jan 2024 - 22:55 ]


    obsessive rage

    ETHEL SENTRY BLUEBEARD'S
    BRIDE 19 YEARS OLD PISCES


    "BLOOD ALL OVER"




    ethel
    "AM I GOING MAD?"


    NAME:
    FIRST NAME:
    SECOND NAME:
    THIRD NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    Ethel
    Helena
    Blanche
    Sentry



    Noble maiden
    Light
    White
    Guard
          Ethel's full name is Ethel Helena Blanche Sentry - which is quite a mouth full of words to say. The name Ethel technically comes from "Etheldreda", though this isn't what's on her birth certificate, nor what Ethel will ever use to refer to herself with. She thinks her name to be quite pretty though she doesn't pay much attention to more than her first name.

    AGE:
    AGE:
    Pisces Sun

    19 years old
    Libra Rising

    March 6 1881
    Scorpio Moon

    I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
    I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE.


    FAIRY TALE:
    Ethel is the protagonist of the story of Bluebeard, aka, Bluebeard's bride. Bluebeard is a tale of a rich man that lives in a large castle all by himself. Three sisters meet him, two of them marrying him one by one, both disappearing. He gives them keys to all doors in the house, and an egg that they need to take good care of while he is away. They are allowed in all rooms but one. Both of them go to look in the forbidden room. There they find all of Bluebeard's former wives, dead and chopped into pieces. Upon discovering this they drop the egg and the bloodstains stick to it. Bluebeard then kills them - this happens with both sisters during the time of their marriage with him.
    By the time that the third sister is married to him, which is Ethel, she locks the egg in a kitchen cabinet, and then goes to see what's in the forbidden room. She decides to call for help from her cousins who then, along with Ethel, trick Bluebeard and kill him. When piecing the body parts of her sisters back together, Ethel manages to bring them back to life.
    PERSONALITY:
    MBTI PERSONALITY TYPE: INFJ -T
    POSITIVE TRAITS
    x Intelligent
    x Cunning
    x Empathic
    x Creative
    x Good-natured
    x Analytical
    x Perceptive
    NEGATIVE TRAITS
    x People pleasing
    x Manipulative
    x Anxious
    x Detached
    x Emotional
    x Cynical
    x Insecure
          Ethel could be described in merely three words: intelligent, perceptive, and traumatized. However, since three words still only point into vague directions, I shall elaborate. Ethel is clever. She is good at solving puzzles, learning new things, analysis, and so on - her vocabulary is quite above average and it sometimes makes the people around her (especially men) feel threatened. She sees through things easily and can think out of the box like no other. The problem arises in the fact that she's rather insecure and tends to assume that she is wrong by default.
    Ethel is unlikely to speak when not spoken to and tends to keep to herself. She is prone to dissociation and missing entire conversations because she feels detached from the world around her, and may often fear it. She is an anxious person who avoids conflict at all times. She has a tendency to fawn over others, often because she feels threatened by them. She is empathic by default and thus feels responsible for the feelings of others - which quickly makes her feel used or exploited. Ethel feels perpetually disappointed by humanity at large for most people are either incredibly cruel, incredibly stupid, or incredibly mistreated in her eyes, which often leaves her in a state with a lot of suppressed anger and a strong sense of justice.
    She can be somewhat manipulative, or feel like she's being manipulative, due to her quick understanding of other people and their motives. Ethel views herself as a rather bad person for this, but in reality she's truly good-natured and caring.


    PAST:
    TRIGGER WARNING: Child abuse
    Ethel was born in a middle class family of five as the youngest daughter. They lived in a small town in the Enchanted Forest. Ethel doesn't like her youth nor parents very much. Now, you must know that Ethel has always had a strange gift, mostly for seeing through things, but also for other things that she does not understand and could only call magic. The three sisters were raised traditionally and religiously, which from very early on caused Ethel to believe that she must be some sort of demon. Their father often complained about the absence of a son and gave out occasional physical and verbal abuse to all others in the household. Their mother had a tendency to drink too much alcohol to cope with this abuse and was often absent or quiet whenever it happened her daughters. Ethel always found safety in being outside of the house, even if the other children weren't always nice to her and she was often bullied at school, being called a witch, making her dislike this place as well - she mostly liked the nearby forest and such.
    One day, the village was visited by a man known as Bluebeard - though this was never his real name. He threw a party and ended up marrying Ethel's oldest sister, Clara, who then moved with him to France. She didn't hear from them for years until her other sister, Lillian, went to visit. Another year passed and then she got the message that both had gone missing. She decided to go there herself to search for them under the premise of being Bluebeard's bride. She discovered that he had murdered them and then managed to trick him together with her cousins, who she had asked for help, and kill him.

    .      .      .



    ALL THAT BLOOD WAS NEVER ONCE BEAUTIFUL, IT WAS JUST RED.


    APPEARANCE:
    FACECLAIM: Mia Wasikowska
    Ethel is a dainty young lady of about 5'3" ft tall. She is remarkably pale and doesn't have any blemishes on her skin anywhere, aside from a small beauty mark above her lip. She has hazel eyes, thin lips, and a relatively straight nose - her face falls into the beauty standards of her time period and she is thus often called pretty, which, well, she is. She is somewhat lanky and doesn't have much meat on her bones - though the likelihood of such being visible is low with the type of clothing that Ethel generally wears. Probably the most eye-catching aspect of Ethel is her long, wavy blonde hair that she rarely wears up. This is rather unusual and may even be considered indecent for her where she lives and thus often causes comments.


    I HAVE A MORBID FASCINATION WITH TWISTED AND CRUEL MINDS

    Oh, was it frightful to lie there and dread, for I knew of his crimes, and I felt the remorse he lacked - fearful that he'd see the discovery in my eyes. ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠

    UNDERSTANDING THEM MAKES ME FEEL SICK YET VIGOROUS


    GIFT:
    Ethel's "gift" has everything to do with death and the afterlife. She hasn't quite figured out how it works, nor does she think it can truly be trained. She herself initially assumed that it was an extension of her empathy and ability to read others, for she didn't dare to assume that the more drastic things caused by her gift were her doing. She's not sure where the limits are, but here are a couple of things that her magic include. Ethel can feel if others are going to die soon by interacting with them. (She calls this part "memento mori" or "requiem") She can see ghosts and speak with them. Sometimes she can catch slivers of other people's thought processes or communicate telepathically. She can seemingly bring back the dead if granted access to the bodies and if she has enough of a connection with its owner. She can feel whether the owner of an object is dead or alive upon touching it. She can cause disease and misfortune when very angry at someone. (This is also known as an "evil eye")

    RELATIVES:
    FATHER: THOMAS HUGH SENTRY | 52 Y/O
    Ethel does not like her father and feels extremely unsafe around him. Many of her self esteem issues and mental health problems stem solely from his treatment and she thus tends to avoid him.

    MOTHER: MARTHA PAULINE REES SENTRY | 40 Y/O
    Ethel has never felt very close to her mother, and in all sincerity, she's rather angry at her that she never stood up for her children or left Thomas. She can tolerate her presence, though.

    SISTER: CLARA MARGARET CORA SENTRY | 25 Y/O
    Clara is one of Ethel's best friends despite their age gap. Clara is outgoing, flirtatious, and quick-witted. She's a great debater with a sharp tongue and good sense of fashion. Clara was the first Sentry daughter to be killed by Bluebeard and her spirit had been trapped in his castle ever since. She has been trying to warn Esthel as soon as she arrived by haunting her.

    SISTER: LILLIAN FLORENCE MYRTLE SENTRY | 22 Y/O
    Lillian is who Ethel considers her other best friend - neither of them are very sociable women. Lillian is a bit more serious than Clara and struggles with social interaction in comparison - though she feels significantly more comfortable around people than Ethel. She mostly likes books and gardens, as well as cooking. She's the second Sentry daughter who was killed by Bluebeard when in search for Clara.
    RELATIONS:
    FRIENDS: Ethel doesn't really have any of those aside from her sisters and cousins.
    LOVER: Closed to this would be Gaspard Babineaux, better known as Bluebeard, which was a rich serial killer known for marrying many different women who'd all go missing. Ethel doesn't quite love him nor is she attracted to him much. She does feel some sort of connection with him for she feels that she understood him well enough to outsmart him.
    ENEMIES: Gaspard Babineaux/Bluebeard/Barbe bleue.


    "I'VE BEEN FEELING UNSTABLE."

    THE DEVIL IS WELL AWARE THAT YOU CRADLE HIM IN YOUR FILTHY HANDS.


    "AND THERE IT WAS AGAIN-"


    "-THE GLIMPSE OF A MONSTER."

    MENTAL HEALTH:
    Ethel would in modern terms be diagnosed with autism, ADD, UDD, and C-PTSD. The first two are neurological developmental disorders that one is born with and affect mostly sensory processing, concentration, and social skills. C-PTSD is short for complex post traumatic stress disorder, and refers to a trauma disorder developed due to multiple or longduring traumatic events. Ethel's trauma has to do with bullying, her father's abuse, and her encounter with Bluebeard. UDD is short for unspecified dissociative disorder and refers to a disorder wherein the patient dissociates much more than usual.

    INSIDE A CRAMPED, NARROW HOLE
    THE TWO OF US SHOW EACH OTHER OUR DREAMS


    HOBBIES:
    Ethel enjoys many things that one can do one their own, such as writing, drawing/painting, reading, learning new things (mostly languages and history in her case), and sewing. She also enjoys solving puzzles and mysteries. More recently she has gained interest in detective work.

    OUR EYES ARE SHAKY, ALL SOUNDS A MERE JUMBLE
    OUR LEGS ARE ALSO SHAKY, AN ILLUSION, A MERE JUMBLE


    EXTRA:
    -      FAVORITE BOOK:
    "Behind A Mask" or "A Woman's Power" by Louisa May Alcott, "Dracula" by Bram Stoker, or "The Turn of the Screw" by Henry James. Ethel likes all of these books for varied reasons and there's likely many more that she could put on this list.
    -      FAVORITE COLOR:
    Gold, like the sun. It used to be blue, but for obvious reasons, this is no longer the case now.
    -      SEXUALITY:
    Ethel is asexual and demi-panromantic. She needs to feel significantly close to someone to experience any sort of attraction to them, but doesn't have any preference based on gender.
    -      FEARS:
    Being laughed at, men, her father, medical procedures, abandonment, rejection, failure, being a bad person, losing her mind, sexual contact. There is more but since all of these are so heavily trauma related, I can better cluster them together as "anything reminding her of her traumas".

    .      .      .
    HER LIFE IN STORYBROOKE:
    In Storybrooke, Ethel was known as Laura Dante, a psychology student living together with her much older boyfriend, Clodwal Philips, to escape her abusive home situation. The only problem, aside from the eleven year age gap, was in the fact that Clodwal (Bluebeard) is a murderer and that Laura was starting to notice, putting her at risk. By the time she realized fully, he got her admitted to a mental hospital (he nearly killed her and told everyone that such was a suicide attempt within a fit of psychosis mixed with paranoid delusions - since he himself is a psychiatrist, he was mostly believed.) Laura isn't the most mentally stable person out there and has likely mistaken ghosts for hallucinations before - she has been diagnosed with psychosis in the past (with which I mean, a state wherein the patient loses touch with reality and experiences hallucinations and delusions, not "psychopathy") due to both her gift and actual mental health problems she may have experienced regarding this.
    Upon recovering her memories, Ethel felt betrayed that Bluebeard apparently wasn't dead and got stuck in an identity crisis. She had no idea what to do with her life now that she had no safe haven left anywhere at all, which is probably why she allowed a silly teenage boy with dirty feet to take her to another dimension without making a fuss.

    TRIGGER WARNING: Child Sexual Abuse

    I didn't feel completely comfortable writing this into her past without a more explicit warning, nor do I think it's fully necessary to know to understand the gist of her character, but she believes she may have been molested (or continuously sexually abused, she doesn't know) as a child by her father or another male family member. She has no active memory of the abuse itself but does remember things related to it. She isn't entirely sure of this since it's something that Clodwal brought up as a possibility due to her responses to certain topics and situations - and she doesn't quite trust the man.
    This won't be mentioned too much because I don't want to trigger people, but for those who aren't triggered by it, the information is here.

    Oké, het kan zijn dat ik Nederlands schrijven simpelweg niet gewend meer ben en alles automatisch in het Engels schrijf. Oepsie.

    [ bericht aangepast op 5 juni 2022 - 17:41 ]


    obsessive rage

    /

    [ bericht aangepast op 30 aug 2023 - 18:08 ]


    obsessive rage




    DEATH of ROSE

    her hair hung in wet streaks over her face
    when we fished her out of the water
    on her lips there was a trace of blood

    ǝpıɔıns ɐ ʇ,usɐʍ ʇı


    PLOT:
    roleplay

    Saint Agnes Institute, School for Girls is like any school, really - although it's known mostly in newspapers as one where tragedies occur. It's the type of school where wealthy families send their wayward teenage daughters because there is so little time for them at home; and although the students don't necessarily reek of impropriety, this type of history most certainly influences the shared mentality between the institute's walls.

    Among the girls themselves, the school is infamous for its tragic deaths and suicides. They may not happen nearly as frequently as in the many ghost stories that are whispered to one another during campfire outings - but happen they do, and especially the teachers are achingly aware of this.
    There have happened only three incidents in the past 200 years.
    Still, when Rose Gibson, top of her year, washes up dead on the nearby shoreline after going missing for three days, panic breaks out. Rumors spread like wildfire. Some claim that the pressure of school was getting to her. Others say that she simply drowned during a boat trip. Her closest friends don't speak on the matter at all.
    That is, of course, with the exception of a small group that claims that Rose's death was anything but accidental or a suicide. And the closer you look, the more signs there are that something rather sinister is going on, rather than tragic.



    ROLES:
    player

    STUDENTS
    The first category of roles one could play are the students of Saint Agnes Institute. All of these students are between the ages of 13 to 18, though I would recommend that your character is around the age of 15 to 17 (since this is the age of our murder victim). Since this is a school for girls, all students should be female. (Trans girls or AFAB nonbinary students are allowed though - but for the sake of your character's mental health, no one who identifies as a man.)

    TEACHERS
    Alternatively, you could play a teacher. Teachers should be 25 years old minimum, of any gender.

    OTHER
    Let's be honest: this category is mostly for those who want to play a male teenager or a police officer. (Though, other types of roles can be accepted too, as long as they're discussed prior to addition.) The girls of Saint Agnes Institute are, surprisingly, not all raging homosexuals, so some may or may not have a boyfriend outside of school who lives nearby. There is a haven port where people possibly involved in the murder might live. There's no age limit or gender specification here, though I'd recommend playing someone above at least 14.

    Rose had enemies, yes, but nothing unusual.
    No teenage girl is liked by everyone at once.

    And no, she wasn't always nice, either.
    But she was 16. No 16-year-old is always friendly.
    It certainly was no reason for murder, if anything.

    [ bericht aangepast op 23 sep 2022 - 13:12 ]


    obsessive rage





    elsie
    elsie levine

    Everyone loved Elsie, Rose included.
    She was one of those few who was liked by all.
    That was, of course, before she set the fire.



    NAME:

    f



    FIRST NAME:
    MIDDLE NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAME:



    Elspeth
    Lorelei
    Levine
    Elsie



    Chosen by God
    Name of a mermaid
    Jewish surname
    Short for Elspeth



    Elsie likes her name. It's unique, yet easily shortened, points at her heritage, and refers to a mermaid too. There's nothing to complain here. Still, when meeting her in the wild, she is likely to lie about her name. She'll use the excuse of safety around this, but really, she just enjoys getting away with small things like aliases given to strangers.


    AGE:

    AGE:
    GEMINI SUN

    15 years old
    Aries Rising

    May 31 1985
    Aquarius Moon


    Elsie is known as a mature girl. She's more intelligent and seemingly more responsible than others her age. Unfortunately, Elsie's impulsiveness and dysregulated emotions make her ordinarily childish again and even it out.

    FEAR AND I AREN'T TOO WELL-ACQUAINTED

    PERSONALITY:
    "You laugh like a little girl, and inside you think like a martyr."






    Charming
    Cunning
    Gentle
    Intelligent
    Analytical
    Funny
    Witty






    Mischievous
    Self-sabotaging
    Rebellious
    Remorseless
    Two-faced
    Impulsive
    Arrogant







    Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text


    for me later:
    faceclaim: alyda grace

    [ bericht aangepast op 30 aug 2023 - 18:09 ]


    obsessive rage

    /

    [ bericht aangepast op 30 aug 2023 - 18:07 ]


    obsessive rage

    /

    [ bericht aangepast op 28 aug 2023 - 21:24 ]


    obsessive rage

    Haaaaii!

    X Wat is de titel van je verhaal, en moet die erop?
    - Quizlet: De Podcast en Story hoek
    x Welk genre is je verhaal?
    - Uh nonfictie/column I guess.
    x Wat is de flaptekst die je erop wilt?
    - Welkom bij de Podcast en Story hoek van Quizlet! Lees en luister mee over de verhalen, dromen en tips van onze eigen Quizletters.
    x Als je flaptekst kort en out of context is, waar gaat je verhaal over? (Zodat ik dit mogelijk kan verwerken in de sfeer)
    - -
    x Is er nog overige tekst die erop moet? (Quotes, waarschuwingen, etc.)
    - Nee
    x Wat voor sfeer wil je graag?
    - Iets elegants en chiques, maar niet te druk. Rustige, natuurlijke tinten.
    x Zijn er plaatjes die er persé op moeten? (Zoals bijvoorbeeld een cover)
    - Nee hoor
    x Zo niet, wat voor plaatjes zou je graag willen?
    - Een aantal plaatjes van schrijven, een microfoon, een boek, dat soort dingen
    x Hoe extravagant moet de layout zijn? (Simpel, gemiddeld, of extreem?)
    - Iets dat classy is, maar wel opvallend

    [ bericht aangepast op 28 nov 2022 - 18:45 ]


    SIC | PARVIS | MAGNA


    ‘‘ my head is filled with parasites, black holes cover up my eyes. ’’



    lietta
    αℓ ℓιєттα
    19 years old the hermit



    NAAM:
    x      Al Lietta
    Al's volledige naam is eigenlijk Alice Lietta, maar dit proberen ze geheim te houden, aangezien het hen dysphorisch maakt. Ze gebruiken "Al" als genderneutrale tijdelijke vervanging in het openbaar, al zouden ze waarschijnlijk liever een andere naam gebruiken. Slechts hun achternaam wordt ook wel vaker als naam voor hen gebruikt.

    x      x      x      x      x



    LEEFTIJD:
    LEEFTIJD:
    Gemini Zon

    19 jaar oud
    Scorpio Maan

    22 mei
    Capricorn Ascendant
    Al ziet er fysiek vrij jong uit, zowel wegens hun gezicht, lengte, en nerveuze uitstraling. Al voelt zich dan ook vrij jong en kwetsbaar. Toch komt die meestal vrij volwassen over in hun persoonlijkheid en gedachtengang, wat vaak een vreemd effect veroorzaakt voor degenen die met hen omgaan.

    GENDER & SEKSUALITEIT:
    x      x      x      x      x

    x      Nonbinair, zij/hen, die/diens, hij/hem, of zij/haar (oftewel, alles mag)
    x      Aseksueel, omniromantisch
    Al ervaart geen seksuele aantrekkingskracht tot anderen - dit betekent niet perse dat ze vies van seks zijn, simpelweg dat ze anderen niet zo interessant zullen vinden wegens dingen als fysieke aantrekkingskracht. Op romantisch vlak kan Al zich echter tot ieder gender aangetrokken voelen, al hebben ze nogal een voorkeur voor meisjes en "femininity" in het algemeen.


    STATUS:
    x      x      x      x      x

    x      The Hermit
    Lietta staat... Niet echt zo bekend, en als ze dit wel doen, is dit voornamelijk omdat die zich zo bewust afzondert van anderen. De meeste mensen zullen hen een beetje vreemd vinden; ze zijn vaak afwezig (zowel fysiek als in de vorm van klaarblijkelijk dagdromen (dissociatie)), maken hun notities in geheim schrift en tekeningen, halen hoge cijfers zonder veel enthusiasme te tonen voor de studie zelf en letten vrijwel niet op tijdens de lessen, en vermijden sociaal contact in het algemeen. Natuurlijk is dit alles niet enorm buitengewoon, maar het kan soms wel een vreemde blik veroorzaken. Wat Lietta precies deed op het feest waar Beth om het leven kwam is dan ook niet helemaal duidelijk.


    VERLEDEN: TRIGGER WARNING! CSA
    x      x      x      x      x

    Al herinnert zich weinig van hun jeugd en zal niet helemaal weten wat ze er precies over zouden kunnen vertellen mocht iemand ernaar vragen. Al werd toen die zes was van hun biologische familie weggehaald door de kinderbescherming wegens mishandeling en (seksueel) misbruik, en is een jaar later in diens huidige familie terecht gekomen, of beter gezegd, diens huidige vader, een alleenstaande zakenman. Heel erg betrokken zijn ze emotioneel niet met elkaar, maar Al voelt zich wel afhankelijk aan hem. Voor een groot deel van hun leven werd Al thuis geschoold, totdat het tijd was voor de universiteit, waar die een toelatingsexamen voor moest doen om binnen te mogen. Al zou, in alle eerlijkheid, liever geen rechten studeren, en als die zelf had kunnen kiezen zou die criminele psychologie hebben gekozen. Maar aangezien je ook in het veld waar die graag in wil werken (detective) kan komen via strafrecht, en dat makkelijker goedgekeurd werd bij hun verzorger, heeft die daarvoor gekozen.



    FACELESS, NOBODY IS YOUR FRIEND


    FAWN---OVER---YOU


    PERSOONLIJKHEID:
    MBTI PERSOONLIJKHEIDSTYPE: INTP -A

    |
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    POSITIEVE EIGENSCHAPPEN:
    Intelligent
    Creatief
    Analytisch
    Empathisch
    Filosofisch
    Beleefd
    Deductief


    |
    |
    |
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    NEGATIEVE EIGENSCHAPPEN:
    Paranoïde
    Afwezig
    Nerveus
    Pessimistisch
    People pleasing
    Onoprecht
    Ietwat arrogant

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    |
    |


    Al is, ondanks hun cynische houding, niet perse een bitter persoon. Ze zijn introvert en houden niet van veel sociaal contact met anderen, behalve dan misschien vluchtige conversaties met vreemdelingen die niet veel gewicht hebben. Al vindt het erg moeilijk om zich echt aan dingen te binden, al heeft die wel een hele vaste persoonlijke routine waar ze weinig van afwijken. Over het algemeen voelt Al zich geïsoleerd en onverbonden met de mensen om zich heen, ongeacht hoe intiem en dichtbij anderen lijken te zijn. Er zijn erg weinig uitzonderingen hiervoor.
    Al is analytisch, intelligent, en houdt van leren. Dit zijn ook precies de eigenschappen waar ze zelf trots op zijn: hun ratio - en Al is niet heel comfortabel met het feit dat die ook een vrij emotioneel persoon is. Ze zijn empathisch en goed in zich in anderen inleven, iets wat ervoor kan zorgen dat ze anderen snel begrijpen, maar zich ook kan uiten in het niet willen kiezen van kanten tijdens ruzies. Ondanks Al's afkeer voor conflict, heeft die wel erg sterke meningen die die meestal voor zichzelf houdt. De meeste van deze meningen zijn zeer kritisch en cynisch – een eigenschap waar Al zich erg veel op focust, zelfs al is het er niet eentje die de meeste mensen om Al heen zullen opmerken. Al maskeert zichzelf enorm rondom anderen om niet als onbeleefd of afstotelijk over te komen, iets waardoor veel van hun interacties en complimenten aan anderen onoprecht neigen te zijn. Dit is niet omdat Al liegt, maar meer omdat die bang is om anderen boos te maken - voornamelijk mensen van hun leeftijd of ouder. Al voelt zich vaak schuldig dat dit hun voornaamste manier van interactie is, maar is te goed in mensen lezen en doorgronden om lang de interesse voor een ander vast te houden. Wanneer ze oprecht vrienden met iemand worden zijn deze vriendschappen dan ook erg intens en uitdagend op mentaal en intellectueel niveau - anders verveelt Al zich.
    Al is creatief, opmerkzaam, een vlugge denker, en op een vreemd manier charmant. Wanneer Al eenmaal in contact is met een ander, voelt de ander zich al snel speciaal wegens de aandacht die Al mensen schenkt binnen persoonlijke gesprekken. Het kan dan erg frustrerend voor beide partijen zijn dat dit gewoon Al's manier van contact is - diepe, persoonlijke, gesprekken, of afstand, en er is vaak geen middenweg te vinden. Al komt als een ietwat vreemd persoon over wanneer die in een groep is. Die is wat awkward, bevat een soort van nerveuze energie, en kan er vaak ongeïnteresseerd of afwezig uitzien. Ze zijn wel beleefd, maar niet opvallend. Al is een people pleaser en heeft moeite met grenzen neerzetten – een eigenschap die vaak wordt aangezien als vriendelijkheid. Wanneer je met hen praat is het wel erg snel duidelijk dat Al slim is, maar behalve als je het toevallig over een onderwerp waar die gepassioneerd over is hebt, wordt die makkelijk over het hoofd gezien.
    it rarely ever is about justice
    ‘‘ I take a hammer and I break my legs
    I break them for the better
    The two of them are always walking me
    Into the stormy weather
    ’’

    often, it's about power dynamics



    UITERLIJK:
    FACECLAIM: shō Mai

    Al is een scharminkel met grote donkere ogen en flinke wallen door gemiste nachten slaap. Ze zijn duidelijk (half) Oost Aziatisch, namelijk, Japans (de andere helft is wit) - al is Al nooit zelf in Japan geweest. Ze zijn zo'n 166 cm lang, en slagen er alsnog in om als kleiner dan dat over te komen - waarschijnlijk door hun slechte postuur of nerveuze trekjes. Al is vrij bleekjes aangezien die de zon vaak vermijdt, maar wordt snel bruin en verbrandt niet snel. Hun haar is dik en ergens tussen bruin en zwart in. Al hield het vroeger meestal kort om als mannelijker aangezien te worden, maar heeft het nu langer laten groeien in rommelige laagjes met een mogelijk nog rommeligere pony, nu dat die wat comfortabeler is in diens gender presentatie. Al voelt zich het prettigst in te grote kleding met heel veel laagjes. Het liefst draagt Al een wit overhemd met korte mouwen en baggy blue jeans - en de meeste outfits die ze hebben zijn dan ook simpel wit met lichtblauw - nog meer witte overhemden, witte coltruien, een enkele losse witte jurk, baggy shorts, etcetera. Al houdt absoluut niet van schoenen en sokken, maar als die moet, draagt die simpele converse gympen - of eigenlijk, goedkope kopieën hiervan.
    CRUELTY BOTH FASCINATES AND DISGUSTS ME

    RELATIES:
    x      x      x      x      x

    x      Sir Duarte Weber | 54 jaar oud | Verzorger
    Al is geadopteerd door Duarte toen die zeven was, maar heeft zich nooit erg verbonden met de man gevoeld. Duarte is afstandelijk en praktisch, wat weinig ruimte gaf voor het helen van Al's vroege traumas. Hij heeft hen op diens dertiende wel naar therapie laten gaan, maar aangezien Al niet bepaald meewerkte met de therapeut, niet heel serieus genomen werd, en Duarte Al ook verwaarloosde, hielp dit niet echt. Al met al, Al en Duarte zijn niet erg close en Al vermijdt Duarte meestal als het kan.


    x      Bethany Young | 19 jaar oud | Kennis
    Bethany en Al zijn nooit bevriend geweest. Dit betekent niet perse dat ze ooit vijanden zijn geweest - niet van Al's perspectief, tenminste, al is Beth wel ietwat passief aggressief geweest naar hen toe wanneer ze gelijke resultaten hadden op examens en dergelijken. Dit ging samen met een korte poging om vriendschap te sluiten (Al vermoedt, nu dat de verhalen om Beth naar buiten zijn, dat Beth pissig geweest moet zijn om de resultaten), maar Al heeft hier ooit veel op gereageerd aangezien die zich niet volledig bij Beth op hun gemak voelde. Hierdoor kennen ze elkaar vrijwel niet. Ze staan nogal aan verschillende uiteinden van de sociale ladder en hebben, op een paar korte gesprekken na, eigenlijk geen contact met elkaar gehad.

    ‘‘ let's fall, let's fall, let's fall and fall, into the vortex of this life of hole-dwelling ’’




    MENTALE GEZONDHEID:
    x      x      x      x      x

    Al is vanaf vrij jong al in therapie, met grote intervallen van pauze ertussen. Momenteel is die gediagnoseerd met autisme, sociale angst, depressie, C-PTSS, en OSDD-3. C-PTSS is kort voor "complexe post traumatische stress stoornis" en verwijst naar een trauma stoornis van trauma die zich over een langere tijd heeft plaats gevonden, meestal in relatie tot andere personen, zoals misbruik, verwaarlozing, of mishandeling, ieder van welk Al heeft meegemaakt. OSDD is kort voor "other specified dissociative disorder", type 3 gaat over dissociatie in verband met stress of recente trauma.


    EXTRA:
    x      x      x      x      x

    x      FEARS:
    Faalangst, verlatingsangst, bindingsangst, publieke vernederingen, tandartsen, vast komen te zitten (zowel in relaties als in fysieke ruimtes), sociale interactie.
    x      LIKES:
    Collecting trinkets/small dead things (animal bones, skulls, teeth, etc.), drawing, rain, spring, old books, alternative fashion, history, thrift stores, fairy tales, murder mysteries, poetry, horror fiction, literature
    x      DISLIKES:
    Loud people, sports, big crowds, Sigmund Freud, dumb people, physical contact, having to give out personal information on simple things such as application files, leaving the house, school, small talk, socks, coffee, misuse of psychological terms, itchy clothing


    obsessive rage

    /

    [ bericht aangepast op 30 aug 2023 - 18:09 ]


    obsessive rage




    Katya Polovina
    Катя Половина


    I AM THE WAVES CRASHING
    UPON THE SHORE

    name:
    FIRST NAME
    LAST NAME
    ALIAS
    🕔
    🥛
    🕢
    Katya
    Polovina
    Agatha Doyle
    🥛
    🥄
    🥛
    Pure, perfect; short for Yekaterina
    One of two equal halves of something that's been divided
    Mix of two popular authors' names
    In spite of being generally content with her birth name, Katya uses an alias when documenting her experiences with ghosts and the paranormal. She mixed the names of mystery authors Agatha Christie and Arthur Conan Doyle. She mostly reads adventure, sci-fi, and detective novels, so she more or less accidentally put these two names together when looking for inspiration for an alias on her bookshelf. This is usually how she comes up with names on the spot for characters and pseudonyms - and this one is only a tad more obvious than her usual references.


    age:
    17 years old
    🥄
    October 7, 1971
    🎲
    Libra
    🥛
    Emotionally quite mature (yet playful)
    Katya is, as she herself will say, quite young still. In spite of that she's very close to legal age and thus to properly inheriting all her family fortune, which causes unwanted attention - particularly from old money-hungry men.


    gender & sexuality:
    Katya is a cis girl using she/her pronouns - though if she weren't alive during the 80s, she might have slightly more liberal views on this and instead consider "she/they" more appropriate. She's not too strict with gender roles and presentation and thinks that the restriction of these roles is annoying. As it is, though, it's the 80s, and she has never even thought of her gender as separate from her body. About her sexuality she's not so very sure, though as the author I can confidently say that both men and women could sweep her off her feet if only they were fascinating and dangerous enough. She's a little picky in men, less so in women, though her shame surrounding sexuality may play a role in this; with men it's unlikely she can keep the relationship secret or pretend she wasn't aware they were truly dating, whereas with girls she can pretend to be utterly clueless about their mutual feelings and pretend that she's in a normal friendship. Despite her avoidance of strong feelings though, she craves more passionate and dangerous affairs in any form possible.


    "Your teeth are on fire. Do you notice?"
    - "No. Your mouth is burning. Do you notice?"
    - "No."



    but the ocean doesn't know herself, she only
    knows how the moon pulls and pushes her


    obsession is so difficult to distinguish from love
    curiosity and desire feel nearly the same to me


    personality:
          Personality type: ENFP
    /
    \
    /
    \
    /
    \
    /
    \
    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    🕐      Brave
    🕑      Intelligent
    🕒      Fun-loving
    💀      Inventive
    🕔      Lively
    🕕      Mischievous
    🕖      Charming
    /
    \
    /
    \
    /
    \
    /
    \
    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    🕐      Flaky
    💀      Easily bored
    🕒      Reckless
    🕓      Self-righteous
    🥄      Dangerously curious
    🕕      Bad-tempered
    🕖      Blunt
    /
    \
    /
    \
    /
    \
    /
    \


    "And now I know how
    Jo
    an of Arc felt,"

                      (am I delusional?????)

    Katya can be summarized in three easy descriptors: eccentric, easily distracted, and very charming. She's a perfect archetype of a teenage girl with an air of mischief and blind courage to her. She is the type of girl to cheer you up at a party that you only went to because there would be cake as you are having a mental breakdown over teenage loneliness. She'll appear before you as a muse for a couple of hours and disappear just as easily again to another, joyfully swimming among other people. Unfortunately, she has been raised particularly isolated, and thus her eccentric personality is mostly seen in restlessness and many hobbies - most of which are useless to a degree.
    She's a daredevil who is always up for a challenge - the riskier, the better. She'll take anything as long as it's ethical in her eyes. Katya will definitely put her foot down when she thinks her friends' actions are causing harm though; she's the type to climb on roofs and to fetch a lighter her friend accidentally left behind in an abandoned building at night, not to break any law she thinks is there for good reasons. Impulsively eaves dropping on conversations and befriending troubled people is moreso what brings her problems.
    Katya is both incredibly impulsive and incredibly curious. If anything catches her eye, she'll want to know how it works. She has little to no concern for her own safety in this purely because she won't think through how said safety would be affected in the first place. This doesn't imply she is naive, for she's perfectly aware when someone is trying to harm her, she is just the type to think before she acts once she gets a little excited. She's usually bored. Having a bit of fun is really all she wants. Poking fun at obvious predators is also a hobby, even if it's more dangerous than she realizes. She's good at recognizing textbook predators (just not in her own social circles), she won't let them in too close - she just wants a story to tell her friends later. She's incredibly playful and mischievous and a little vain, making her very perfectly a teenage girl; "the maiden".
    Katya has quite a temper. She'll apologize when she is wrong, and in relation to her anger, she's more than willing to acknowledge this. The same does not go for her reading on other people's intentions and minds. She can be very, very blunt in saying what she believes to be going on in other people's heads. Often she is right, for she is accurately analytical and perpetually fascinated with humans as a whole (an obsession likely shaped by her loneliness growing up), but that doesn't mean she can't be far too direct and even a little annoying with this, especially to the adults around her who aren't waiting to be put in their place by a young, ill-mannered (for ill-mannered she is) girl. But why should she apologize? She's right!
    The more people struggle to be known, the more Katya wants to look. People who lie or manipulate others are higher on the list than those socially reclusive, for Katya considers the former category to be more challenging and deserving of having their privacy invaded a bit. She's unfortunately not self-aware enough to recognize why she finds often dangerous people so interesting, and puts herself into really dangerous situations because of it.
    DESTRUCTION MAKES THE WORLD BURN BRIGHTER

    appearance:
                      Faceclaim: Brooke Shields
    Katya's charm isn't only in attitude; the body she's in helps. She has a conventionally beautiful face (oval shaped) with big blue eyes, a small nose, and somewhat plump limps. Her eyebrows are a little bushy yet mostly neat. I wish I could give more in-depth description, but she is really just what one would expect when one thinks of a pretty girl. She has fair skin with a light blush, nothing else on it in particular. She looks distinctly innocent and lovely. Her hair is chestnut and slightly wavy, reaching only a little lower than her shoulders. She's a skinny girl with a frail look to her despite being taller than average for girls. She is a bit lanky and doesn't have much shape to her. Her curves aren't too well-developed. She has never really focused on any of these things and rarely pays attention to her body below her shoulders.
    Katya exclusively wears men's clothes. When she was younger she loved to wear dresses as well, but due to them getting torn up and stained with just about anything she came near interacting with, she has since kept them in her wardrobe to wear only on special occasions. She likes wearing band shirts to communicate with others what music she likes in the hopes to strike up conversation. Turtlenecks and sweaters are favored in autumn so she doesn't have to grab a coat before going outside. She likes to mismatch socks and shoes that have the same model but different colors. She has many bracelets on each wrist that she tends to lose in odd places. She rarely ties her hair up. She loves long sleeved shirts with stripes.

    He's a keeper, he's a believer,                             
    he's on the ground on his knees in a theater


    HAPPIEST GIRL I EVER KNEW


    WHY DO YOU SMILE
    THE SMILE YOU DO?


    HAPPIEST GIRL I EVER KNEW


    mental health:
    Katya has very obvious ADHD (which at this point in psychiatry doesn't get diagnosed very often and is thus left unmedicated, even if medication might benefit her), and the more dysfunctional bipolar disorder type 1 (which includes full-blown manic episodes, as well as depressive episodes in her case. Manic episodes usually last about a week, depressive episodes can stay for months at a time). At this point in time, no medical help has been sought. At least, until she begins speaking with the supernatural, after which she very rapidly develops night terrors, catatonia and other symptoms that somewhat resemble active psychosis - which is more worrying to her caretakers, especially as it comes with high fevers, vomiting, and mild seizures that all go without physical cause. Her bipolar disorder doesn't come up then either. Sucks to be you Katya RIP


    past:
                Katya was born in a rich and affluent noble family somewhere in Eastern Europe (this is yet to be determined, though it's probably the Czech Republic or Russia) as the identical twin to Sasja Polovina. Their parents died when Katya was very young, and she remembers absolutely nothing about either of them; she's not even fully certain how they died (the general story is of long-term illness - though there are family rumors that say otherwise). The twins grew up together for only half their childhood. Once the girls were roughly ten years old they were separated due to the size of their family property. Sasja got the castle in the West, and Katya was moved to the slightly smaller castle in the East. Both castles were assigned a governor of some kind, Katya's also being her primary caretaker: Matyáš Bouzek. Katya can safely say she wishes that she had never been given her own castle. She would have much preferred to stay with her sister, Sasja, for the rest of her adolescence - and part of her forever resents all caretakers that had any saying in their separation, including Matyáš.
    Life without Sasja very quickly proved incredibly lonely. The two had never really had much outside interaction with kids their age, but until age 15, Katya was primarily kept inside with little of her social needs fulfilled. Matyáš clearly didn't like most childlike, whimsical interests that she had as a preteen, and none of her nannies made much of a favorable impression on her. Katya picked up some useless hobbies. She wasn't allowed to do all of the sports she wanted to after it became clear that she would get bored from the private lessons she was offered, no matter how much she tried to make up for her skipping of classes when she was young. Despite their wealth, Matyáš usually made money seem like quite a problem. His only real form of affection was by giving her gifts that surrounded topics he enjoyed more than she in the hopes she'd pick up on the same interests (some of which succeeding, many less so).
    She often explored the castle and the forest surrounding it, found outside more than in (even if such is only because she didn't know as many hiding places and secret passageways in the outdoors). She was restless and impatient and bored and desperate for some kind of friendship with someone her age, only occasionally getting along with her caretaker and rarely seeing her twin sister. This began to change around the age of 15, once she was allowed to actually go to town on her own and met several friends there. She now has a lot of friends everywhere, but it still doesn't quite ease her boredom, especially with how often they are in school (since she is homeschooled and can't see them then) or on vacation or overall not around to talk to. At this point she has ceased to look for people to talk to (though the more is still the merrier!) and kind of lives her life as though events are just happening to her without her having much of a say in them - which she doesn't really, but still.
    As our current plot begins, her life is thrown off the rails by a few primary events. 1) There are two strange men seeking for some ancient treasure in her castle (which is very invasive and frankly rude, especially without asking her for help, but alright), 2) her governor may be attempting to marry her for her fortune because she's almost 18 and he's a money-hungry dick, and 3) she has been contacted by the dead who keep giving her incredibly ominous signs and omens and warnings and it's making her physically ill - and 4) (the only bearable point, though the ghosts are pretty cool in a way,) she has been reunited with Sasja for a little while.

    AND I'D HAVE TO PINCH HER JUST TO SEE IF SHE WAS REAL
    JUST TO WATCH THE SMILE FADE AWAY
    YOU DELICATE YOUNG DELICACY
    ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~
    And you, you follow philosophies, but me, I laugh, I choke
    "Well, hello, my hollow Holofernes"
    I wink, but you don't get the joke

    ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~

    YOU EXQUISITELY SWEET CUISINE


    relationships:

    For the sake of not exhausting my imagination today, the people listed are directly involved in the story that Katya is a part of. Her other friends are not on here, but assume there's at least ten people she also talks to outside of these people.


    SASJA POLOVINA 🕖 TWIN SISTER
    Sasja is easily Katya's favorite person on the entire planet and beyond. She used to be her best friend throughout her entire childhood - as estranged as the two now are, Katya would give anything to spend every day in the same house as her twin again. Meetings are now often more distant than they used to be and Katya misses Sasja terribly.

    MATYÁŠ BOUZEK 💀 GOVERNOR OF HER PROPERTY
    Unfortunately, until this man came up to Katya and straight up told her he wanted to marry her, she had absolutely no idea he might be preying on her money - or her, for that matter. She feels terribly embarrassed not to have noticed that. Before realizing he might be a problem she was pretty indifferent to him. She had a type of fondness for him given that he was one of her caretakers, and would give her gifts, yes - but it's not hard for a teenage girl to recognize she's not being taken too seriously, and he didn't put in enough effort to actually keep her entertained with him to make up for that, so she didn't have too much of an opinion on him. He was always mildly interesting, but never enough to further investigate. (After the proposal he's the villain so fucking bet what she thinks of him)

    JIRAZ BASALT 🥄 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
    One of the guys out for a mythical treasure supposedly in her family's possession (totally lol). Katya isn't so sure what to think of him as of now. He does sincerely seem to believe there is a treasure (even though there very obviously isn't), and he's pretty annoying outside of that as well. Her irritation for him is a little addictive though. She wants to continue being irritated by him.

    MARIN ANAGNOS 🥛 ARE YOU STUPID
    Similar position to Jiraz, except he's less likely to be a murderer, which means he's not deeply unhinged and likely just an opportunistic victim of gold fever. Katya has no opinion on Marin aside from the fact she finds him gullible and annoying. You can stay on my property though, for a bit. It's a little flattering to have two men so interested in you for your newfound powers, y'know? (Katya is only slightly fascinated by the concept of flirting which is why she must do it with everyone all the time)

    LESLEY BASALT 🕢 ???????
    Katya may not even know that Lesley exists, to be honest. They'd probably get along fine, but alas, Katya has not yet heard of her much. (Translation: Kriss hasn't decided much about Lesley yet and I have no idea what her situationship is)

    extra:
    LIKES:
    Music, science fiction and detective novels, hanging out with her friends, Sasja, Depeche Mode, The Smiths (Katya's taste is mildly not great purely because of this if you ask me), Joy Division, The Misfits, Queen, Heathers (the movie), psychology, especially criminal psychology, camping, archery (she's good at using a rifle! Huntress but only on wooden planks with red dots on them!), fencing, swimming, evil men apparently, horror movies, rollercoasters, lemonade, summer, stealing

    DISLIKES:
    The government (extension of her caretakers so it's an act of rebellion against them really), especially dumb people, when oranges have seeds in them, the smell of beer, people who smell bad in general but she likes the stench of cigarettes and weed unfortunately, sitcoms, being ignored, the fact that people keep claiming there is a treasure in her castle as though she wouldn't already have found it with her endless poking around

    And he put us in a car, I don't know where we are
    but I fell in love with the fever


    Character: © Cynical
    Layout: © Cynical


    Songs used for the quotes so you too can read them with the right cadence:
    - Hot Gum by Sofia Isella (this is quoted throughout the entire thing I was really feeling the song)
    - Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths
    (fuck this song lmfao why is Morrisey so annoying and why is the music nice)
    - Destruction Makes The World Burn Brighter by Chelsea Wolfe
    - Happiest Girl by Depeche Mode (Jack Mix)
    - Eat You by Caravan of Thieves
    (these quotes are at her from an imaginary love interest she doesn't have because she herself is too feral for even this)
    - That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil

    If your favorite quote isn't in one of these songs then I made that quote up soooo thank youuuu *twirls hair around finger*

    [ bericht aangepast op 30 aug 2023 - 20:12 ]


    obsessive rage




    Astrid Woolf
    ֆɨƈӄ աɨȶɦ ɦʏֆȶɛʀɨǟ

    Astrid embodied martyrdom without religion.
    She carried the anger of injustice, and the madness
    that horror brings, yet never prayed for salvation.
    She despised God, I'm sure I heard her say.

    § name:
    FIRST NAME:
    MIDDLE NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    🦷
    💀
    🦷
    Astrid
    Catherine
    Woolf
    🦷
    🦷
    🦷
    Divinely beautiful
    Pure; name of a Catholic Saint
    Wolf (author's reference to Virginia Woolf)
    Astrid uses many nicknames and pseudonyms, most of which she has only ever shared with Julian. The most important one of these is "Mori" (from "Momento Mori"), which at the start of her story, she has completely forgotten about and confuses for somebody else. Her continuous memory loss and identity fragmentation is part of the reason as to why she has so many extra names to begin with (for they are alter names of someone with dissociative identity disorder, though Astrid instead considers them "characters" she simply frequently daydreams of, for she doesn't know the name of her own disorder).

    The specifics of her alters shall not be discussed here for I am lazy and haven't worked them all out yet.

          "you don't know your own mind!"

    age:
    20 years old
    Aquarius Sun
    🦷
    💀
    January 25, 1958
    Aries Rising
    🦷
    🦷
    Emotionally very mature
    Scorpio Moon
    Astrid's story starts when she is 17, in 1975, but her current timeline is in 1978. She feels like she is very young, but comes off as extremely mature to outsiders. She has the intelligence and wisdom of someone much older than she actually is.

                                  a burnt child loves the fire

    gender & sexuality:
    In modern terms, Astrid would be genderfluid. This has to do most with her identity fragmentation and rebellion against gender roles. Still, she distinctly uses she/her pronouns to refer to herself during her novel (with a few exceptions when using pseudonyms), and often empathizes her experience as a girl in a violently patriarchal society. She often describes herself as a man made to live as a woman - clarifying that she isn't perfectly content in feminity.

    As for her sexuality and romance, she shows very little interest in anybody. She occasionally mistakes intrigue for attraction, but generally concludes that this is simply due to the way women are socialized to believe they must fall in love one day, and it has little to do with genuine desire for any relationship. I'd say she's somewhere on the aromantic and asexual spectrum in spite of her intense friendships with various characters - for most of these are not so easily boxed into any specific type of love (if they're really love at all). Unfortunately, this lack of interest in romance is primarily due to trauma, and not so much inherent - but that doesn't change that she experiences no attraction now.

    BEWARE THE LIGHTNING CRACKLING, BEWARE THE MONSTROUS SEA!
    HERE I COME, HERE I COME FOR THEE


    people I hate can be just as gratifying
    to be around as people I love



    because my eyes are laced with apathy
    and my stomach is full of rage



    personality:
          Personality type: INTP
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    🦷      Analytical
    🦷      Inventive
    🦷      Cunning
    🦋      Brave
    🦷      Charismatic
    🦷      Bold
    🦷      Righteous
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    🦷      Devious
    💀      Bad-tempered
    🦷      Obsessive
    🦷      Diffident
    🦋      Remorseless
    🦷      Sneaky
    🦷      Self-destructive
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |


    "Is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?"


    Astrid is not inherently a quiet person, yet most people who meet her will describe her as shy. She rarely talks out loud. She avoids to be in crowds or around too many strangers at once. It's very difficult to break through this apparent shyness. It's not too hard to, after a while, realize that she isn't exactly shy, but instead disinterested. It's not that her own thoughts are much more entertaining, but she prefers the boredom of her own mind over the boredom of pretending to be a person she is not - which she is typically made to do in regular social situations. Astrid only really becomes interesting when observed without anyone around - and then she'll suddenly take a very strange turn.
    Many of her friends, whether in the past or current, will describe Astrid as a very lively and passionate girl - though plenty have pointed out she would probably be a better man than woman. She has a certain boldness to her that not many others do, and a quick-witted pace in conversation and discussions. Her plans tend to persuade a number of people to follow, no matter how good an idea it truly is, simply because her delivery has a certain charm and intelligence to it that's very hard to resist. She, at times, appears to be so clever that she is almost deliberately manipulative purely for the sake of mind games, for she is likely bored by daily interactions without them.
    Astrid is easy to offend, yet hard to insult. She doesn't take much as a threat to her ego, but sees a lot as slights against justice, which she has much more trouble forgiving. People tend to consider her a little turbulent in a particularly unpredictable fashion; she is not impulsive, yet she comes off as incredibly self-destructive in the fights she does pick. It's rare that others will start conflict with her in an aggressive manner; she's usually the first to strike. Her anger makes her seem more confident than she is. Her way of speaking is animated and assured, she analyzes quickly and always finds flaws and mistakes and patterns without much trouble. Astrid is the type of person that people pretend to be nice to because they know they'll likely lose an argument if they are to have it without actually being in the right. She doesn't let people walk over her and is respected significantly more by peers than they generally respect eachother.
    Astrid is very good at psychoanalysis, and often will connect dots that other people hadn't even seen yet, making her a little strange to most. Her way of thinking seems untraceable to others, yet she'll consider it to be quite logical. She will claim that she understands herself poorer than others, which is true to an extent, but not entirely in the way it implies - she understands herself poorer than she does others solely because she is more complex than the average person she analyzes. She is very, very obsessive over justice. She does her best not to cross any lines and will rarely ever feel bad for anything she does to others because she makes sure to only give others what she genuinely thinks benefits as many people involved - yet she is particularly cruel to herself in spite of her lack of remorse for any specific situations. She sees herself as morally abject and rarely defends herself like she defends others, simply because she believes to deserve injustice anyway.
    BEWARE THE ROLLING THUNDER, BEWARE THE WATER DEEP!
    HERE COMES DEATH, DEATH COMES FOR ME

    appearance:
                            Faceclaim: Angelle Boucher

    Astrid looks both a little feral and incredibly vulnerable. She is of average height, standing roughly 170 cm tall, but underweight due to prolonged body image issues and anorexia, making her bony and frail. She's pale and clearly exhausted, all the time - this tiredness being immortalized on her face in the form of seemingly permanent eyebags. And in spite of it she is beautiful. It's the one thing most people can agree on: she's pretty and also completely unpredictable.
    Her face is heartshaped and impish. She has big green eyes (almond), a small button nose, full pouty lips, and many freckles. Her hair is dark and kept at chin-length in a French bob with fringe. Normally she wears a lot of black and leather, being a part of the London punk scene, but upon visiting her hometown she takes on a more conservative clothing style to not stand out too much. She likes to wear monochrome turtlenecks and striped socks.


    - "I know I'm guilty of something, but punishment hardly ever suits the victims of a crime."





    mental health:
    Astrid has c-PTSD in the form of (complex) dissociative identity disorder from a life long of sexual abuse and psychological torture and brainwashing. DID is a disorder wherein the patient has extreme dissociation, identity fragmentation, and selective memory loss in order to protect them from traumatic memories. It tends to keep a part of the brain active that's normally only active when asleep, causing a vivid form of daydreaming to parts of the brain in order to process traumatic memories, as well as the hearing of voices or otherwise communicating with these other parts in a way that makes them seem almost like separate people in one body. Other PTSD symptoms (such as nightmares, flashbacks, phantom pain, paranoia, being easily startled, etc.) still persist - the patient simply isn't aware what events caused them in specific.
    Aside from that, Astrid has mild schizophrenia with psychotic breaks that are triggered alongside traumatic memories and flashbacks. Her hallucinations and delusions focus primarily on the fear of being watched or threatened in some way.
    Unfortunately, that's not where it ends for her. She has severe manic depression or bipolar disorder (type 1); ASPD (antisocial personality disorder), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), and anorexia (alongside other self-destructive tendencies, such as automutilation, though she doesn't do this very often). She quite clearly has autism, though the symptoms hereof don't interfere with the quality of her life, similarly to ADHD that she also has - which interferes a bit more.

                                  "What you claim not to know is merely what you've denied."

    past:
          TW: Child Abuse
    We're going to keep this very brief because I'm still figuring this out. Astrid underwent prolonged sexual abuse as a child while growing up in a strange, cult-like town on Saint Agnes, a small island between Newfoundland and Cape Breton Island in Canada. Here she likely underwent some form of brainwashing, though as her story begins, she has no memory of this ever happening, and believes to have simply grown up in a dull household that she decided to escape together with a friend due to their strict parents disagreeing with their friendship. She did escape with her best friend Julian, and currently lives with him, but that's about all she remembers that is actually correct. She travels back to her hometown when believing that this is where a friend has gone to commit suicide in order to find and stop them - not realizing that the diary where she is getting this information from is her own from three years ago.

    MEMORY IS A PUNISHMENT


          "But in even my true fear there is an undertone of spite. There is always something malicious, something vicious and something that doesn't like to be seen as innocent. It is raw and unfiltered. My usual showcasing of tears is nothing but a hollow imitation of what I've seen in those around me. I perfected it, I made it so convenient and refined that it's almost holy. People never continue to yell at me when I put it on. I am so well-loved when I pretend to be vulnerable and it makes me want to gag."


    I AM SOMEONE WHO DID NOT DIE
    WHEN I SHOULD HAVE DIED



    relationships:
          (Only the relationships relevant to her story are mentioned because I am really lazy.)

    § Julian Linden § 23 years old § Best friend §
    Julian is, without a doubt, Astrid's favorite person to be around - because he, unlike most of her other friends, has the uncanny ability to see right through her. Julian is a gentle young man with a love for art and academia. He is much smarter than anybody Astrid knows. He'd probably die for her, and Astrid would likely die of grief if he did. Still, he has a strange and uncanny side to him that she knows is dangerous - he is eerily manipulative and she's glad he only seems to be tricking her into taking better care of herself or otherwise self-reflecting, because she knows he could do worse if he wanted to.

                                  I have never understood where the line is drawn, between sacrifice and self slaughter.

    extra:
    LIKES:
    Science fiction and detective novels, Jules Verne, Frankenstein, Lord Byron, poetry in general, music, anarchism, archery, storms, reading, writing, chess, puzzle games, psychology, swimming, cigarettes (c'mon Astrid, your lungs!), Julian, like a lot she's obsessed with this guy, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Anaïs Nin, cats

    DISLIKES:
    The church, the government, capitalism, the patriarchy (she has really strong opinions on all of these), television being on during conversation, doctors, physical intimacy, eating quickly and much a day, small talk, Sigmund Freud, men in general to be honest aside from Julian, school, her father, solipsism, pointless philosophies about mundane topics, people who reject optimism in order to look more intelligent, pretentiousness in general (hypocrite), bad smells, family traditions


    Character: © Cynical
    Layout: © Cynical

    inspo of the bottle divider comes from @ChiIdhood <3

    Hier is van wie de quotes zijn omdat ik graag wil pronken met mijn eigen dingen

    "There is a certain clinical satisfaction in seeing just how bad things can get."
    - Sylvia Plath

    "Astrid embodied martyrdom without religion. She carried the anger of injustice, and the madness that horror brings, yet never prayed for salvation. She despised God, I'm sure I heard her say."
    - me, obviously

    "You don't know your own mind!"
    - The Queen of Hearts to Alice in Alice: Madness Returns
    (Alice's response that I wanted to include but couldn't really fit:
    "It's nearly a complete stranger."

    "A burnt child loves the fire"
    - Oscar Wilde

    "Beware the lightning crackling, beware the monstrous sea!
    Here I come, Here I come for thee"
    - me

    "Is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?"
    - Friedrich Nietzsche

    "People I hate can be just as gratifying to be around as people I love / Because my eyes are laced with apathy and my stomach is full of rage"
    - me

    "Beware the rolling thunder, beware the water deep!
    Here comes death, death comes for me"
    - also me
    (technically it's supposed to be "here death comes for me" rather than just "death comes for me" but that would fuck up the layout)

    "Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes."
    - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

    "I know I'm guilty of something, but punishment hardly ever suits the victims of a crime."
    - Alice Liddell in Alice: Madness Returns

    "What you claim not to know is merely what you've denied."
    - The Queen of Hearts to Alice in Alice: Madness Returns

    "Memory is a punishment."
    - Frank Bidart

    "But in even my true fear there is an undertone of spite. There is always something malicious, something vicious and something that doesn't like to be seen as innocent. It is raw and unfiltered. My usual showcasing of tears is nothing but a hollow imitation of what I've seen in those around me. I perfected it, I made it so convenient and refined that it's almost holy. People never continue to yell at me when I put it on. I am so well-loved when I pretend to be vulnerable and it makes me want to gag."
    - me

    "I am someone who did not die when I should have died."
    - Euripedes, Hekabe

    "I have never understood where the line is drawn, between sacrifice and self slaughter."
    - Hilary Mantel, Wolf Hall

    "My deplorable mania for analysis exhausts me. I doubt everything, even my doubt."
    - Gustave Flaubert

    en nee ik lees niet zoveel dat ik dit allemaal buiten pinterest ben tegen gekomen (op alice: madness returns en sylvia plath na dan (al zijn beide sylvia plath quotes hierin wel van pinterest hAHAHA)) dus ga er niet vanuit dat ik slimmer of interessanter ben dan ik ben pls i just wanted you guys to know that i actually used my own poetry/writing for once (it's not really poetry but you know what i mean)

    also, literally no one cares about the songs i link to characters but i do and i didn't link any to her through means of quotes, so take this:
    - Cruel - Tori Amos
    - The Warden - Chelsea Wolfe
    - Virginia Woolf Underwater - Chelsea Wolfe
    - Me and the Devil - Soap&Skin
    - Get Off (You Can Eat a Dick) - Kittie
    - Dear Alice - Arai Tasuku
    - Sugar Pills - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME
    (this one is purely based on vibes, not lyrics, I just happen to associate it with mad detectives)
    - The Disappearance of the Girl - PHILDEL
    - Burn Your Village - Kiki Rockwell & Paris Paloma
    - Beatrix - Cocteau Twins
    - Your Woman - White Town
    (also for vibes, not the lyrics, astrid is loveless)
    - Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths
    (this is my one not Greek mythology inspired character but i guess her story is kinda dark academia so it's fine???)

    and the entire soundtrack for Alice: Madness Returns but that one has no lyrics
    there's undeniably more because i have a whole playlist but i'm not putting everything here

    [ bericht aangepast op 4 sep 2023 - 16:06 ]


    obsessive rage



    agnes laure richis

    the 81st hunger games district 10 female tribute 14 years old


    NAME:
    FIRST NAME:
    MIDDLE NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAME:
    Agnes
    Laure
    Richis
    Blood dyed hair girl



    Pure, holy
    Laurel tree
    Son of Richard
    Nickname from her mentor
    Agnes is named after Saint Agnes, patron saint of young girls and sexual abuse victims specifically. Her middle and last names are a reference to a character from "Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer" by Patrick Süskind because I thought it'd be interesting.


                " if you so please, throw yourself at my feet and worship me. i shall be religious. i shall be grand. but don't get confused: i am a beast at heart, and i will devour you. "
    ✁      ✃      ✁      ✃      ✁      ✃      ✁



    AGE:
    AGE:
    Aries Sun

    14 years old
    Scorpio Rising

    April 9
    Scorpio Moon
    Agnes feels like she's incredibly mature in a way, which she is, but she's more underdeveloped and vulnerable than she thinks. She lies about her age during the Reaping and says she is 17 in order to not be considered suspicious for volunteering by the people in her own district, given that the girl who was actually picked happened to be 18.


    what does it look like?
    a body without skin?


    SEXUALITY:
                Asexual, aromantic      /      Arguably biromantic
    Agnes, throughout the entirety of her story, has trouble understanding desire and romantic attraction. She has no issue recognizing it in other people and using their feelings for her to manipulate them, but struggles with understanding what she herself feels. She is intense in conversation but feels little for other people. When she does feel something she can be incredibly obsessive, though not necessarily romantically so. Still, there are occasional moments where one could argue she does experience romantic love but can't identify it well - in which case she's bi. She makes no difference in gender at all regarding this. She does however prefer female friends over males, given that she doesn't trust men at all.

    can you show me?



                "Well, 4 in 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane — so now I kind of have to do it, to be true to myself!"                       

    I was carving my name in your side and you were calling me soft, calling me gentle.
    I do not think you were paying attention.

    some people are born hungry, and the only thing
    that can sate this hunger is the taste of blood.

    the more you feed it, the more it grows


    PERSONALITY:
                                  Personality type: ENTJ
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    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    Intelligent
    Strategic
    Analytical
    Good actor
    Charming
    Funny
    Cunning
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    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    Cynical
    Angry
    Unpredictable
    Sadistic
    Stubborn
    Arrogant
    Manipulative
    |
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    "Trust me, you will prefer me being detached from you once you know me."

    Those who believe to know Agnes well, know her as a strategic, intelligent girl with an uncanny maturity. She’s rarely afraid, rarely sad, and not easily tempted into doing anything too rash. She has strong opinions and doesn’t belong to the masses. She's incredibly eccentric and inviting towards others to also reject general expectations and norms, with promises of a rich personal life full of interesting hobbies and creativity. She’s clever – far too clever, for a girl who’s as young as she is – and can read people like a book. This doesn’t mean she also follows the rules of social etiquette. She rarely does, unless when it benefits her. Sure, she’s diplomatic. She knows when to behave. Still, there’s always a particular charm about her that makes encounters with her far too personal to be polite. She’s so interested, so genuinely concerned, it’s like no one has understood you before she did; it’s difficult not to love her or to at the very least be fascinated by her. God, she’s uncanny though. She never does quite as you expect her to. She’s so lovable, yet cold and difficult to reach. She knows exactly how to show interest in others enough to avoid them trying to analyze her too deeply.
    Differently than most think, this is not, like they hope, because she’s such a good and humble person. People who don’t claim any position of intimacy with her see a side that the people she’s directly tried to persuade are too blinded to see. She’s ridiculously charming and flirty, yes. And humorous. And likes to play mind games. All the goddamn fucking time.
    Agnes is arrogant, and perpetually bored, and apathetic, and only ever does things that personally interest her. The only requirement is that it’s somehow mentally stimulating. Morality or even any actual long term opportunities she doesn’t care about. Getting close to people is interesting, and nothing more. Most people are only worth spending time with for as long as there’s still secrets to dissect, and then once those are out in the open, they lose their appeal.
    Though she knows exactly how to hide it, she likes the chaos that conflict brings inevitably more than anything else. She’s a thrill-seeker through and through. If one atrocity doesn’t give her that sweet sense of adrenaline, she’ll move on to the next without looking back.
    Agnes is not outwardly sadistic towards most people. Most people are just white noise; they don’t matter very much, and she doesn’t feel more than vague annoyance about them. However, there is a surging urge for violence within her. She’s usually angry about everything – but coldly so, in a way that makes her set people up against each other and that makes her trick people who somehow offended her into trouble. She knows exactly how to keep her hands clean while still pulling strings.
    However, she highly prefers outward aggression. She likes it when people are so reasonably disliked that she can theatrically hurt them (god she’s theatrical), with either words or direct violence. She’s the type to hysterically laugh and scream when her mask slips. It’s probably good that she rarely allows it to.
    The main reason she bothers with appearances at all though is out of sheer habit. If she weren’t so stuck-up about it, she might be significantly less sadistic and angry, and would instead scale back to a regularly mischievous person with anger issues. But noooo, she can’t do that, can she? She for some reason has to collect all her anger until she can let it out whenever it looks disproportionate regardless of the circumstances so that she can play it off as for show. She just privately bullies people she considers deserving of it, and anyone can get on this list as long as they just annoy her slightly over the least important issues whatsoever. She’s like an angry and very spiteful cat who’s the antagonist in some old cartoon who is the worst person you know only when the pet owners aren’t looking. Otherwise she’s purring and bumping her head against you and blinking at you slowly as though she didn’t just try to eat you.

    "They’re not gonna pick you."
    Though I badly wanted to, I didn’t roll my eyes.
    If only it were that simple!






    APPEARANCE:
    Faceclaim: Inka Williams
    Agnes is considered significantly more attractive than most, though her actual features have less to do with this than the simple fact that she’s charismatic. Though even in pictures she’s beautiful. She is considerably paler than most people from her district, which has to do moreso with her sensitivity to sunlight than race (she’s Latina, which you can see by her large eyes and bobbed nose and thick hair). Her eyes are big and dark and relatively far apart, giving her an elvish look. Her nose is proportionally small and her lips are full and round. A natural blush tends to be over her cheeks. Her features are soft and doll-like.
    Probably the most memorable thing about her (aside from her prettiness) is her odd, bright red hair. It’s quite dark, yet has a consistent bright red shine on it, like strawberry jam. She hasn’t dyed it, to the surprise of most, though her mentor has joked that it must be red due to her bloodlust. Her hair is wavy and currently reaches to about her collarbones.
    Agnes is thin and stands about 167 cm tall, which is neither particularly tall nor short. She has an androgynous figure with curves that are only really visible when she barely wears any clothes – and thus she has a somewhat boyish silhouette. Strangely, she looks starved, despite being rich.
    She’s typically difficult to gauge. When not deliberately putting on an act, she usually just looks faintly angry and bored.

    ANY MINUTE NOW, YOU'LL SEE WHAT I AM
    AND REGRET EVER ASKING


    HOME:
    Agnes is the only daughter of previous victor Eris Nevermore. She lives in a big house in District 10, obviously, and has never struggled with money, like most others in her district. She doesn’t have very many close friends, but gets along with others well enough to keep up appearances. She has some people she likes, though none of them know her very well (though they think they do, and she tends to be quite familiar with all of their secrets).
    She lives with only her mother, this mostly being because her father disappeared when she was 8 years old. The only things left of him that she has are his old diaries, which she has largely memorized at this point.
    Her mother isn’t a sociable person and thus they’re usually on their own.


    PAST: TW: CSA!
    There’s really only one distinct event in Agnes’ childhood worth bringing up here. When she was seven years old, she got kidnapped by serial child rapist Philo Dorpo for eight months. He tricked her into giving him the name of her school and address after seeing her shoplift a notebook by telling her he was a police officer, and that he would need to keep tabs on her unless if she’d prefer to go to jail. He abducted her then after a school day when she was meant to be picked up by a babysitter, and traveled throughout the entirety of District 10, never staying at any place for very long to avoid getting caught. She was only found back once she’d escaped the man for long enough to alert a peacekeeper.
    She’s mostly known for this particular abduction in her district – aside from, of course being the daughter of a Hunger Games victor.
    During her abduction, her father disappeared. No one is sure where he went, though most assume he committed suicide after the loss of his daughter. His remains were never found though.

    In current day, Agnes remembers little to no details of the kidnapping and refuses to speak of the events with anyone. She’s been to some therapy, though not enough to fully recover – just enough to no longer start screaming and kicking as soon as any adult touches her anywhere.

    Now, outside of the people from her district that were around during the time that this happened, this isn’t exactly a well-known fact, and thus, Agnes manages to come off as relatively normal during the Games, without any conceivable weaknesses.


    "It reminds me a bit of cranberry sauce."
    - "...You mean the blood?"

    SO KILL ME ONCE, KILL ME TWICE,
    I AM ALREADY DEAD!

                            ‘My strategy is simple. The other tributes should think me harmless or neutral. I want an ally or two to work with in the arena, though, so I can’t be too much of an idiot or crybaby - I just need to fall under the radar of Career tributes. I want to be inconspicuous so that I can lure and trick tributes into danger without them suspecting me or trying to hunt me down in specific.’           

    I AM LIVING IN A DEAD WORLD RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO DO
    WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE FOR SOMETHING NEW


    SKILLS:
    TW: Self-harm & disordered eating
    Although Agnes is the daughter of a victor and a knackerman (better known for his writing), she’s worked in a butchery since she was about 12, giving her knowledge on how to slaughter animals. This is a relatively common skill among people in her district, but still a useful one. She understands how to use most cutting blades perfectly fine. She’s experimented with throwing them (mostly in anger) and has discovered that her aim is quite good – though she still prefers simply slitting throats, which is a more reliable cause of death.
    She is quick, stronger than she looks, and incredibly intelligent and manipulative. If anyone could win the Games without lifting a finger it’d be her. She knows how to use her charm when necessary towards any gender (which is an incredibly uncomfortable fact when realizing her age, and mostly an effect of her trauma), how to make people lower their guard, and how to lure them in. She knows how human anatomy works and its weak points. She’s also rather good at memorizing information, making it pretty easy for her to remember the edible and poisonous plants in the training centrum.
    She already knows a handful of either due to her mother’s love for gardening.
    She can swim. District 10 is by the seaside, and she’s always loved being near the water. Even less friendly tides don’t scare her.

    Regarding weapons, she's most drawn to a morningstar, butcher's knife, or roman sword. A machete or knife will also do, as long as it allows her to cut others. Though to be completely honest, she would likely settle for just a small dagger given that she prefers to keep up her innocent act until it's most convenient to drop.
    Her signature weapon becomes a roman sword.

    Her main weakness is, ironically, her knack for manipulation and proneness to boredom. She has a tendency to tell different lies to different people, which can cause for them to distrust or despise her – and such is obviously not ideal in a place where murder is perfectly legal.
    Oh, and she's perfectly willing to engage in casual self-harm if the situation calls for it, which... Isn't great given that she doesn't really seem to understand that her own body has its limits too. If she ever dies she's probably responsible for it herself. Stupid fuck. (I don't mean in the sense of self-harm because she hates herself. I mean self-harm to make it look like you hurt her. Or simply because she needs blood. Or starving herself in order to look like she comes from a poorer area in her district than she does - though this isn't too difficult for her given that she already has this tendency anyway. Did I already mention that she's so underweight that she randomly faints every now and then?)



    w.i.p.

    [ bericht aangepast op 9 okt 2023 - 23:50 ]


    obsessive rage


    THE QUIZLET GAMES
                      EDITION: VI


    🩸 BASIS INFORMATIE:

    Welkom bij de Quizlet Games (we zijn uit de dood opgestaan)! Het is tijd voor de districten uit Panem om twee jonge tributen op te geven aan het Capitool voor de 86ste Honger Spelen, waarin ze tot de dood zullen vechten, en jij kan het opschrijven! (Mits je, uiteraard, bekend bent met de boeken of films)
    Dit is een schrijfwedstrijd geïnspireerd door The Hunger Games door Suzanne Collins. Iedere deelnemer zal het leven van een fictieve tribuut in de 86ste Honger Spelen opschrijven. Iedere ronde zal een afvaller hebben - degenen die afvallen sneuvelen in de Spelen voor de andere deelnemers (zij die afvallen voordat we aankomen in de arena, sterven in het Bloedbad). Degene die over blijft wint als tribuut de fictieve Spelen.

    Ik zoek zo'n 10 deelnemers en geen juryleden. Inschrijven doe je door het onderstaande lijstje in te vullen.

    De originele Quizlet Games was gecreëerd door groei. Eerdere Spelen zijn ook gehouden door ProngsPotter, Virtues & Esra22Erbay.
    Mocht je mee hebben gedaan aan de vorige edities, lees AUB de regels om te checken voor veranderingen.


    🩸 INSCHRIJVEN:

    Naam deelnemer:
    Leeftijd deelnemer:
    District en geslacht tribuut:
    Heb je dyslexie?:*
    Taal waarin je schrijft:

    * = Dit kan meegenomen worden in beoordelingen, zodat deze deelnemers niet te hard worden afgerekend op spellingsfouten waar ze weinig aan kunnen doen. Je mag eventueel ook doorgeven als je ADHD hebt van tevoren in verband met dingen op tijd inleveren, zodat als dit een keer mis gaat, er rekening mee kan worden gehouden.

    Je kan deze informatie zowel in mijn inbox als comments plaatsen.
    Het creëren van personages staat bij opdracht 0.



    🩸 REGELS:

    i. Houd je aan de huisregels van Qreaties.
    ii. Plagiaat is absoluut verboden en zal een directe diskwalificatie veroorzaken.
    iii. Je mag je opdrachten in het Engels of Nederlands schrijven, maar houd je aan één taal om te voorkomen dat het rommelig wordt. Ik spreek beiden vloeiend en kan allebei dus beoordelen.
    iv. Houd je, uiteraard, aan de opdracht. Ik stop veel moeite in uitgebreide informatie opschrijven, maak er gebruik van!
    v. Grote bondgenootschappen tijdens de Spelen worden afgeraden. Samenwerken is toegestaan, maar relaties tussen tributen die niet in hetzelfde district zitten mogen pas starten zodra ze in het Capitool zijn. Dit is zowel omdat het vaak vriendjespolitiek veroorzaakt heeft in het verleden, wat ik oneerlijk vind, en voor realisme.
    vi. Opdrachten hoeven niet perfect aan te sluiten op de stukken geschreven door andere tributen. Dit is een schrijfwedstrijd, geen samenwerk wedstrijd. Zolang er geen grote veranderingen zijn (bijv. de dood van personages), zijn kleine veranderingen in dialoog oké, zodat de focus voornamelijk kan vallen op de deelnemers eigen tribuut en hun ontwikkeling. (Als het goed aansluit is dit echter erg leuk, dus wees niet bang om dingen met elkaar te bespreken)
    vii. Blijf vriendelijk tegen elkaar. Zodra ik opmerk dat er over elkaar geroddeld wordt, krijg je één waarschuwing, en daarna lig je eruit.

    Voor iedere opdracht is er zo'n 2 tot 3 weken de tijd om deze te schrijven (met een week tussentijd voor mij om te beoordelen). Je kan altijd twee dagen uitstel vragen, mits het voor de deadline aangegeven wordt, zonder verdere consequenties. Als je dan nog te laat inlevert, zal dit een punt van je score afhalen binnen de eerste week, daarna lig je eruit.


    🩸 TRIBUTEN:

    * = Beroepsdistrict!

    DISTRICT 1 | Luxeartikelen * (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 2 | Metselwerk * (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 3 | Technologie (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 4 | Visserij * (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 5 | Elektriciteit (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 6 | Transport (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 7 | Hout (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 8 | Textiel (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 9 | Graan (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 10 | Veeteelt (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 11 | Landbouw (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    DISTRICT 12 | Mijnbouw (informatie)
    Jongen: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?
    Meisje: Deelnemer - Naam tribuut, leeftijd tribuut - Topic 1, pagina ?

    Voordat je een tribuut uitschrijft, lees eerst opdracht 0 en de informatie over je district. Dit kan voorkomen dat dingen niet kloppen met de wereld waarover we schrijven.

    🩸 OPDRACHTEN:

    OPDRACHT 0
    Dit is, technisch gezien, een warm-up. Er zal niemand afvallen deze ronde (noch degene hierna), maar ik heb besloten wel feedback te geven zodat je nog dingen aan kan passen die ik mogelijk afreken in latere hoofdstukken. Dit gaat voornamelijk om realisme met de wereld waarin we schrijven, zoals hun economische positie en dingen die dit indiceren.

    Creëer je tribuut! Dit hoeft niet perfect te zijn. Ik kijk niet naar spelling of zinsopbouw – alleen naar de informatie die erin staat. Je krijgt geen cijfer, alleen maar een “dit is prima” of een “x dingetje klopt nog niet, kijk of je dat kan fixen voor je hun boete schrijft”.
    Vul het onderstaande lijstje in. Kijk naar de informatie over het bijbehorende district voor inspiratie qua namen en leefomstandigheden.

    Standpunt: (1e, 2e, of 3e persoonlijkheidsvorm + verleden of tegenwoordige tijd)
    Naam en achternaam:
    District:
    Geslacht: (Transgender tributen zijn toegestaan, al zal er in de districten geen mogelijkheid voor medische transitie zijn, dus zullen ze met hun geboortegeslacht worden ingedeeld bij de Boete. Ontzettend fucking kut dus voel je vrij om hierover te ranten in hun interne monoloog. Onrechtvaardigheid is een deel van deze wereld.)
    Leeftijd: (Tussen de 12 en 18 jaar in)
    Uiterlijk: (Zorg dat dit past bij hun district. Je mag voor jezelf foto’s gebruiken, maar voor de opdracht moet je een geschreven beschrijving zonder die foto geven.)
    Persoonlijkheid: (Kan kort. Dit is niet voor een RPG. Zolang het te zien is in hun verhaal zelf maakt het mij weinig uit hoe lang je het hier opschrijft. Steekwoorden zijn genoeg.)
    Leefsituatie: (Met wie wonen ze? Wie is hun familie? Hoe verdienen ze geld? Wie is de kostwinner thuis? Waar wonen ze?)
    Verleden: (Alleen dingen die je relevant vindt om bij te voegen hoeven hierin. Nogmaals, het is een schrijfwedstrijd, geen RPG.)
    Sterktes in de arena: (Wapen- en plantenkennis moet hier worden neergezet – of het gebrek hieraan. Als ze al bekend zijn met een specifiek wapen, leg dan uit waarom. Kracht, behendigheid, charisma, etc. zijn ook van pas als dit mogelijk sponsors op zou leveren.)
    Zwaktes in de arena: (Zie sterktes)
    Aandenken:
    Extra:

    Originaliteit is voornamelijk belangrijk qua ervoor zorgen dat het personage niet dezelfde familie en wapenkennis als Katniss Everdeen heeft. Het moet alsnog kloppen met de wereld! Zorg ervoor dat dingen als economische status, wapen- en plantenkennis, en strategieën in de Spelen mogelijk zijn in Panem! (Leef je uit binnen de opgestelde regels van de wereld. Het is iemand die een vredebewaker als vriend heeft en hierdoor krijgt die meer eten? Het is een vrijwilliger met een specifieke strategie? Het is iemand wiens Boete wordt gesaboteerd? Super fucking cool, ik houd van je, ga ervoor.)

    Je mag de sterktes, leefsituatie en het verleden dat je personage heeft geheim houden als je dit graag wilt, geef dit aan mij door. Je mag je personage zowel in het forum zetten als in mijn inbox. Je krijgt privé feedback mocht dit nodig zijn.
    Als je zelf niet je personage op het forum zet, doe ik dat, met de gevraagde dingen eruit geknipt, zodat de andere deelnemers wel weten hoe jouw tribuut eruit ziet en heet.

    Succes!

    Deadline: datum-maand-jaar



    🩸 BELANGRIJK:
    - Opdrachten worden op Google Drive ingeleverd. Op die manier kan ik ze het makkelijkste nakijken. Uiteraard mag je ze ook in een story posten.

    - Je mag besluiten jouw opdrachten privé te houden en enkel een synopsis van de gebeurtenissen die te zien zijn voor andere tributen publiek te delen. Dit mag worden gedaan om te voorkomen dat andere deelnemers een tribuut's strategie doorzien die ze niet zouden kunnen weten (dit is in vorige edities vaker gebeurd en zou ik zelf erg vervelend vinden), wegens onzekerheid, of simpelweg omdat je het niet publiek wilt delen. Bespreek dit echter wel met mij, zodat ik ervoor kan zorgen dat die synopsis wel gedeeld wordt.

    - Er zal een drive document met een overzicht van alle ingeleverde opdrachten zijn. Dit zal enkel zichtbaar zijn voor deelnemers. Deelnemers die gevraagd hebben hun inzendingen privé te houden zullen hier uit worden gelaten en een samenvatting van voor andere deelnemers belangrijke gebeurtenissen hebben.

    - We schrijven de 86ste Honger Spelen, dus is er in deze versie geen weet van de opstand in de originele trilogie. Dit is omdat ik de arena zo dramatisch mogelijk wil maken met zoveel mogelijk vreemde Capitool technologie die misschien nog niet bestond in de eerdere Spelen. En ook om ervoor te zorgen dat niemand over de tributen die ik in de originele TQG wedstrijden geschreven heb schrijft, want ik was 12 en ik wil niemand dat aandoen.

    - De beoordelingen en nieuwe opdrachten zullen staan in de wedstrijdstory.


    DISCLAIMER: dit is nep, ik zit alleen in een thg mood en die weigert op te rotten dus nu ben ik ook weer naar tqg dingen aan het kijken en onnodig allemaal opdrachten ervoor aan het schrijven

    [ bericht aangepast op 20 dec 2023 - 20:19 ]


    obsessive rage






    Asira

                            Daughter of Ezra | XIX | Dragon slayer

    And the boy will wear armor stolen with a hood of red,
    bear a sword so old it knows the taste of dragon blood,
    and appear only where you least expect him to.


    NAME
    Her full name is Asira, Ezra's Daughter - seeing as she is no noblewoman and has no titles or family name other than this. Much like most people from her land, she simply adds her father's name after her own. Now, in the real world, "Asira" means "chosen" (which is fitting, as she is a half god with a few prophecies littered about that include her), but in her world, her name is the same as a more niche epithet of Nephilireti war god Helel.


                      " Losing the fight is such a blast. It makes me truly want to win. "



    AGE
    Asira starts the story at age 19. She has always reveled in being young and has a slight disdain for most of her elders. Due to crossdressing, she is generally assumed to be younger than she is - even if she isn't oft assumed to be a man. She doesn't exactly wear anything that accentuates maturer features, causing people to regularly mistake her for a girl as young as 14.


    ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟
    ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙


    GENDER
    I could write pages analyzing this, but Asira lives in a time period where gender is seen as something fixed, and since she is AFAB, she uses she/her pronouns and refers to herself as a girl in her internal monologue pretty much without exception. Still, it's pretty clear she doesn't quite see herself as womanly. She was raised completely isolated, without much of a concept of gender and gender roles, causing her to quite freely see herself as masculinely without any gender dysphoria over her physical body (as it was never treated as feminine to begin with, so she does not associate it with traditional feminity and the way women are viewed under the patriarchy). Because of this, some prophecies speak of her as a young man - and at times she's seen as a man by people she encounters, though this is somewhat rare, as she doesn't pass as a man due to her height and voice. She doesn't really care about the way she is perceived, so long as people don't tell her what to do.
    In our world, I'd say Asira to be a trans man who has very little care or concern about social convention. In her own, however, I think she's fine being called a rascal instead.

          " I want always to be young, and free, and without command. "                       


    SEXUALITY
    I highly doubt that Asira has done any self reflection on this whatsoever (nor has she quite figured out the appeal of marriage), but she's bisexual. Or in the very least, she loves both men and women and does not see them as different to begin with - whether she is interested in them sexually is something she altogether hasn't thought about yet. She is also most certainly polyamorous. How I know this?
    Well, because she hasn't quite discovered the concept of monogamy. Which would cause problems, if only she were better at long term relationships to begin with without somehow making a giant mess out of them. No matter - she travels around anyway. She can just leave if she starts to dislike a situationship. I promise you she's not stupid, but she does mindlessly flirt with whoever, and doesn't really think of the implications thereof.


    innocent, ruthless, bloodstained,

    She said, "Fear is fun if you do it right.
    It teaches you that you're alive!"

    Now I don't think she knows the meaning of the word
    She bounces back, ne'er scathed - ne'er hurt


          ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟
    ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙     

    PERSONALITY
    {
    {
    {
    {
    {
    {
    {
    {
    {
    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    Brave
    Intelligent
    Charismatic
    Strong-willed
    Optimistic
    Righteous
    Cunning
    Strategic
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    Reckless
    Thrill-seeking
    Stubborn
    Easily bored
    Chaotic
    Mischievous
    Cocky
    Uncommitted
    }
    }
    }
    }
    }
    }
    }
    }
    }


    " I am not a creature that was born. I am a fire that was set. "


    Anything you think you're best at, Asira will say she can do better. Not necessarily because she always genuinely believes so - but because skill is a matter of challenge, and it is only natural for Asira to take challenges on. She likes to compete with others over small things. Pose something as a game, and she's in. She can easily deal with loss, because this is not about winning. It's about the fun that rivalry brings. She likes to challenge anything and anyone; gods, men, kings, beggars, thieves. Status is nigh invisible to her, and disrespect is in intention, not casualty. Still, Asira is not, like some seem to believe, arrogant. She does not have any misguided beliefs that she is better than others. She is, however, cocky - and most certainly considers herself above certain philosophies (and what are rules and law, but commonly followed philosophies?). If she believes a law, or rule, or line of thought (even if it is someone else's primary foundation for morality), to be stupid, she won't follow it. She'll point it out, debate over it, allow you to change her mind if you can. Again, it's not about of winning. It's a simple matter of interaction with her peers, even if it could cause some to dislike her.
    Asira is full of pride, but it's an unbreakable sort of pride - one that doesn't depend on her knowledge, money, or status. It's an inherent belief in her own value (and of anyone else), leaving her more confident than most. She knows she's intelligent. She feels no need to prove this (until provoked). She's not shy, so whenever she is not speaking, it's out of disinterest, not fear.
    Asira is neither an introvert nor an extrovert. She likes hanging out in taverns and conversing with strangers, certainly. She likes to tell stories to the masses, and to help poor beggars and unfamiliar women with any task. At the same time, she doesn't enjoy being in the public eye much. She easily grows uncomfortable in settings too social, for too long at once. She can disappear for months at a time without it meaning anything to anyone - she simply grew distracted, and nothing more, nothing less, easily feeling trapped in convention and commitment. Best is to let her run wild.
    Now, if there is anything that Asira will be remembered by, it will undoubtedly be her charisma paired with her wit. She is clever - smarter than most. Perhaps smarter than anyone, really, though to her it depends whom you compare her to (which is a humble way of saying she favors the company of people who can keep up with her). She's strategic. And this is often times noticed too late by those around her, due to her reckless and chaotic acts (and pride thereof) - but everything she does, no matter how odd and unpredictable, has meaning. She is very quick to adjust her behavior in ways that fit the situation. Yes, she likes to gamble. Yes, she likes to take massive risks. And yes, at times none of this works out for her - but in spite of her boyish and childlike charm that has people believing she's only a child, the thing that truly matters most about her is the size of her ego - which is just as large as any situation requires, without any delusion or unnecessary modesty whatsoever. She takes just the risks she can afford to take. Sporadically and enthusiastically and unpredictably, but never with more harm and spectacle than required, no matter how theatrical she can at times be.

    AN EYE FOR AN EYE,
    MY FRIEND

    ♜ ♞ ♝ ♚ ♛ ♝ ♞ ♜      ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖


    APPEARANCE
    example images: i. ii. iii. iv. v.
    Most of these were created with AI, hence the inconsistency. Chosen faceclaim is a young Virginie Ledoyen or Amber Midthunder.


    Now I am in no way calling Asira ugly, or even particularly unconventional in looks, but to say that her charm stems from her physical appearance would be dishonest. Asira looks rather average - there are at least ten other girls who look just like her. She cleans up nicely when you put her in a beautiful gown, but ultimately isn't anything out of the ordinary. Whether you consider her pretty or not is a matter of opinion. She is more than fine with this - she is rarely occupied with her body. It's just the vessel through which she perceives the world, she couldn't care less what it looks like.
    She has dark brown hair and brown eyes with olive skin with freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her hair is straight, without much of a curl pattern (there are some waves, just not very many). When it starts to get in the way, she cuts it at chin length - though it's currently so long it's past her collarbones, which is manageable. She is skinny, not much meat is on her bones - though throughout her story she gains some more muscle (and thus gets a slightly broader silhouette). She's somewhat slight, even for women, being a bit short, though not outrageously so. She usually wears a white tunic and a red cap, paired with a white hood lined in red (which can be turned inside out and thus provides two colors). She wears (stolen) chainmail armor and always carries a sword. She may occasionally wear a dress, though usually only to disguise herself. She has nothing against them, but does feel rather exposed in them. Dresses are always borrowed, never her own.

    I am the sun before you see me rise                                         
    I burn still when you close your eyes                       

    I am the soul that never dies     
                      when flesh is weak


    PAST
    Asira was born the daughter of famished farmers in Moerlach (the Lowlands, also known as Moria or Barbaria). She never properly met her parents, as the land she lived on was invaded by the Alesians, likely resulting in her family's demise before she could even walk. She was found by a man named Ezra, a seer, whom believed her to be the mortal incarnation of an old god of war (Morinnen) most no longer believe in. He raised her away from the war and cities in the old woods deep into Moerlach. He taught her how to read and write (an uncommon thing for a peasant to learn), to grow her own food, hunt, and live off the edible parts of the forest. He raised her without gendered expectations, allowing her to grow into her most natural self; nor with any fear for the outside world. What she was taught, was mostly true, albeit at times oversimplified. He by no means forbade her to go out or interact with anyone, so she's familiar enough with markets and small villages and travelers. This, of course, does not mean Asira was never lonely as a child, but she was well loved and grew into a pretty happy teenager.
    Always having wished to, much like Ezra, have a connection with the Otherworld and all things spiritual, Ezra promised her from a young age that one day she would truly be in touch with all things divine. He told her of her destiny to one day be a great warrior, though never quite elaborated on how and why. Things finally spurred into motion once Asira turned 19, as she killed a wolf who had been attacking and murdering travelers, which Ezra took as proof that she was capable enough to start her journey. He sent her East, to Nephiliret (land of the fallen), a kingdom of ancient times that fell many centuries before Asira was born, where she ought to retrieve a sword that was used to kill a dragon once. (Now, dragons aren't generally believed in - and if they were a thing at any point, they must have been so old that humans may not have existed alongside them, for the bones they have are so dark they must be ancient, but Ezra insists she find the sword regardless.) On the same day, Ezra disappeared without explaining his exact reasons, as there seemed to be some sort of urgent problem up North in Alesia he ought to take care of. Asira traveled East on her mare Duna. From the moment she set foot outside, she began receiving signs and communication from spirits, as well as her own (frustratingly vague) visions.
    Asira discovered quite quickly that the outside world was more corrupt than she'd realized, and rapidly developed a hatred for Alesian soldiers and settlers in Moerlach - or anywhere else, for that matter - thus making her steal their armor and money and overall standing up against them more than any other soldiers. A similar process occurs with men.
    Once retrieving the sword in Nephiliret (quickly naming it "Tooth"), she rapidly began remembering past lives related to the sword, until the gods then eventually reveal to her that she is a mortal incarnation of the god Morinnen (in Nephiliret known as Helel), as well as a child thereof, and that it's her task to help free her land from the Alesians. This revelation left her more cocky than most. She now follows the trail the gods laid out for her to gather other half gods on the same journey as she, trying to carefully evade an Alesian general that's caught wind of her.

    still it's fun to storm into things when I can't help myself,


    SKILLS
    Asira, even when she starts out, is a skilled fighter - which is surprising to many due to her build and age (and, of course, that she is a girl). Her weapon of choice is her sword named Tooth, a weapon that's several centuries outdated in model yet in perfect shape, supposedly used for slaying a dragon (found among dragon bones). Before retrieving Tooth and learning to fight with it, she fought mostly with a rod, spear, or other hunting gear she had at hand, and was ultimately less likely to storm into combat because of this (for swords are expensive, and the knives she owned should still be useful for cutting her food the next day). She doesn't know how to use a crossbow, but she is capable with a handbow (recurve bows are preferred, though they're harder to find in Alesia than they were in Nephiliret - so others she'll use too). Hunting she was taught by her father, but combat she had to learn abroad. She is stronger than she looks. She's quick and doesn't like to draw fights out unless when it's play - when it's a real fight she prefers to simply fend her opponent off in one hit, which, with people her size, she can most certainly manage. More capable fighters she can't do this with as easily, so she'll rely on her wit then. She's strategic and not afraid to create traps, or to lie, or act, or disguise herself, or to manipulate her opponent in some other way. She's quite familiar with forests and can easily use her knowledge of them to her advantage. She's good at stealing, all through means of armed robbery, pickpocketing, and trickery.

    Asira can, unlike many peasants, read and write. Her knowledge on language doesn't stop there though; she is a story teller. To make money, she tells stories, recites poems, and occasionally sings ballads - which she does either on marketplaces or in taverns. This practice makes her come off as well educated to nobles, and engaging to most. It also helps her improve her acting (which she is also good at, when needed).


    Witness me, old man!                                               
    I am the wild!

    my name means war


    I know that Rage can be a weapon. She is not only Rage in the sense that she is anger. I think her furious passion about anger can take on many forms. She is concentrated malice. She is burning obsession. She is the content waiting to fulfill a long term strategy; she is the anticipation that comes with a well-planned trap as you hunt. Give her a goal, and she is her own form of pleasure.

    ♖ ♘ ♖ ♘ ♖
    So hard is it to hold you - so hard is it to mold you
    into something you are not


    EXTRA
    LIKES: Summer, the color red, play fights, rum, religion, the Otherworld, well made food, her horse Duna, opinionated people, folk songs and stories, ballads, history, songbirds, climbing rooftops, lighthearted pranks and mischief, dogs and cats and pigeons (any pet, really), board and card games, hunting, her sword Tooth, plums and apples, lamb stew, dancing, cheese, crazy inventions, disguises, costuming
    DISLIKES: Royalty, Alesian soldiers and noblemen, patriarchs and the patriarchy, selfishness, people who misinterpret or hijack her religion to exploit and harm others, liars, rapists, murderers - none of this is surprising but her anger is very extreme, gender roles, being tricked by spirits, winter, being cold
    HOBBIES: Gambling and drinking games (Asira pls), sword fighting, telling stories, coming up with strategies to make the lives of people she hates as hard as possible (and executing those strategies), helping women and children and beggars, swimming, studying
    RELIGION: Asira believes there is truth in every religion and takes wisdom from all of them. She is a deeply religious person but very against the way religion is organized across the places she visits.

    I ' D      K I L L      F O R      T H E E


    Aut inveniam viam aut faciam
    (I will either find a way or I will make one)

    [ bericht aangepast op 2 jan 2024 - 16:02 ]


    obsessive rage




    𝔠𝔞𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔞𝔫
    A · P O E T · O R · A · M A D M A N

    lighthouse keeper's son | 22 years old


    name:
    FIRST NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAME:


    Caspian
    Sutherland
    Sailor


    White, from the Caspian Sea
    Southern island, land in Scotland
    Referring to his hobby (sailing)
    Caspian is not his real name. That much is clear enough to those he went to school with, but why he chooses to go by an alias is a bit unclear, not to mention strange. Nicknames such as "Cas" are allowed but frowned upon. Being reduced to his hobby of sailing and his fashion sense is something he frowns less about. He chose his alias due to a love for the sea, and thus he likes being called "Sailor" - perhaps even more than he likes Caspian.

    If I were to encounter such a monster,
    I would likely be eaten by it

    age:
    DATE OF BIRTH:
    Aquarius Sun

    February 8 1955
    Pisces Rising

    22 years old
    Scorpio Moon
    Caspian's age is very difficult to gauge. Not in appearance, at all - he has a boyish and youthful quality that makes it easy to guess he must be in his early twenties, and no more than that. But the way he behaves - he has a mature and emotional air to him that makes him simultaneously seem younger and older than he is. It's a kind of confidence and the lack thereof both at once.

    Because, in truth, I am that monster.
    my boy builds coffins with hammers and nails
    ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·


    gender & sexuality:

    Caspian is a man, whether he is cis or not is irrelevant, he'll say - because he's trans and it's the 1970s where transphobia is insane. "He/him" and occasionally "they/them" are the sets of pronouns he uses for himself. Regarding his sexuality, he is a very caring man who loves very deeply when he does, but he rarely desires adequately outspoken romance or sensuality. He's not very sexually inclined either. He doesn't differentiate between men and women, or anything that substitutes as off the binary - most of his close and intense friendships that are unspokingly romantic have been with men, and most of his longing has been for women. It's safe to say he is bisexual, though asexually inclined.



    - "It's not death itself I'm afraid of. Death is just death. I'm afraid of the threat of dying, without any certainty that you actually will. It gives ambition of survival, and that ambition kills the self as a sacrifice.
    And that state, where you aren't anyone, that is true horror."







    I'm not sorry. You revel in others' pity at times like these. You don't get to have that.


    ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·

    personality:
          the page of swords | the hanged man
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    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    🦷      Analytical
    🦷      Inventive
    🦷      Cunning
    🦋      Empathetic
    🦷      Charismatic
    🦷      Bold
    🦷      Righteous
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    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    🦷      Paranoid
    💀      Bad-tempered
    🦷      Obsessive
    🦷      Diffident
    🦋      Remorseless
    🦷      Sneaky
    🦷      Self-destructive
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    To feel anything deranges you. To be seen
    feeling anything strips you naked.

    The first thing one may hear about Caspian is that he is unstable. It's not hard to see this in him if that's your automatic assumption: he is a nervous, twitchy young man who appears easily offended. He is a bit easily offended - but only when it regards injustice, and unsurprisingly, most who spread the word that he is unstable are prone to bullying and mistreating those around them. But usually he is quite gentle and softspoken. When you go in with the expectation that he is the pitiable variant of unstable (another thing that is often said about him), you'll instead find that he's dark and brooding and has a surprisingly sharp tongue. He's just kind and at times uncertain in that way that children that have to rely on adults are, despite not really wanting to. But he's actually quite hard. Stable perhaps not - but he's not soft. He is incredibly intelligent and loves picking things apart. He can read others very quickly and easily, and he makes sure to treat them accordingly. Caspian is very up in his head, usually acting more from the brain than from the heart, in spite of his insistence to be kind to those he thinks deserve it. Those whom he thinks don't deserve it he will call out without any unnecessary insults beating around the bush, but with contempt still - which is to most worse than when someone is mean for the sake of it. He refuses to feel bad for this. In general, he rarely regrets what he does, which generally is good - until he gets really angry. He has a rather black and white worldview, so once he's decided someone is a bad person, he does not forgive. He also thinks that pretty much anything is justified whenever he's angry, and unless it's proven that his initial accusation was wrong, he doesn't feel guilty for crossing where most people draw the line.
    He's charismatic, being an animated talker and an active listener - yet it's hard to gauge him, perhaps harder to predict. He is a bit smug and can be arrogantly annoying, usually to men, not to women. Not in a way to tease them, like he does to guys, anyway. To women he is gentle and he gives them deliberate space to be themselves. That, however, does not mean he doesn't flirt - that he does with everyone. He does it very subtly, where it can be mistaken for simple kindness, but trust me, he knows what he's doing, and he enjoys confusing you.
    He slides from being boyish and mischievous to being withdrawn and cynical. He can be bold and idealistic as well as skittishly pessimistic. But always he is cunning. He's very intelligent (smarter than most), which is by and far his most admired as well as his most hated trait. Some see his wits in and of themselves as arrogant, and... Well, sometimes, maybe. If you're doing something he thinks is ignorant. But he doesn't say witty things because he wants to be admired - he often expects them to have to opposite effect. He says them just to speak his mind. He's observant and analytical and loves solving problems and philosophical questions. He's opinionated, restless, and easily bored. He usually hides in his mind to avoid feeling, but he has no problem taking a look at their hypothetical existence. He can tell you everyone's motivations (he'll never reveal his own, but he knows of them), their deepest fears, and what they love most. He mostly focuses his intelligence on psychology, but it extends to other topics. He can talk endlessly about literature, strategy, math, science, and other things. All his hobbies have to do with obtaining information and creating things - minus swimming and sailing, which he loves because he can be alone.
    Oh, and before I end, I think I should mention that Caspian is dishonest. He's a great liar. He is paranoid and defensive and will lie whenever he sees fit. His lies are not pathological, and exist more out of withholding information than completely fabricating it, because he always has an ulterior motive (even if such is only distrust - he distrusts a lot) - but he does lie. He is great at winning trust, but if people don't grant him as such, they aren't completely wrong. He has few ill intentions (the worst he has being vengeance), but the ends to him justify the means. This means he can be deceptive, and ultimately unfair to others in his own way, and the awareness of this occasional trait has him seeing himself as a horrible person.

                                              "Aren't you angry?!"

    Oh, I am.

    .
    ﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏



    appearance:
                            Faceclaim: Felipe Piatti

    Caspian is a thin and lanky man who still has some of the awkwardness of a teenager. He is about average height, neither remarkably tall nor short - a bit on the short side, but not so much it is in any way worth mentioning. He has a feminine look to him and his face is softer than it is angular. Most who see him consider him handsome, and often, mockingly, "pretty" - which he takes no offense to, because he knows it's true, especially when comparing him to those who try to jab at his masculinity and don't shave the beard that they don't take care of or don't wash their hands after using the restroom. He has dark hair and almond eyes that both are almost black. He has heavy eyebags that never seem to go away and the shadows on his face are always sharp in contrast with his skin, even if such isn't particularly light - just pale (and olive). He has wavy hair that he grows out slightly, much like many men did in the 70s. He has little facial hair, and when it does grow he shaves it off.
    For clothes, Caspian likes to take inspiration from sailors - so he wears a similar model of pants paired with striped T-shirts and scarfs around his neck. Blue jeans and turtlenecks also work. He loves big coats and sweaters. He alternates between a pair of worn combat boots and loafers. He wears mostly navy blue, white, and black - neutral colors are really his thing.


    may you die with your mouth still agape
    with a word stuck in your throat

    may your eyes be taken just
    before you can weep

    .

    --Caspian saw himself as the darkest of grays. He wasn't, and he kind of knew that he wasn't, but that did ultimately not change a thing. It's sometimes easier to accept that you're immoral than it is that you are a victim. It's easier to give in to needless guilt than it is to accept that you were brutalized. If the guilt stays, it doesn't matter that it's not your own. It doesn't matter that it's irrational. It feels rational. It's all that you know. Clearly, that guilt must stem from something; you must be truly vicious beneath the surface, and it doesn't matter that your actual behavior implies no such thing. It feels almost prophetic. It's as though one day, the guilt will be proven right, and every little mishap, every innocent mistake or human flaw of anger was nothing but foreshadowing.
    ﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏














    '






    past: TW! Abuse!
                Caspian will not share much of his past, and neither will I. I'll share more than he would like, though - otherwise there is no point in this section whatsoever.
    Caspian was born a girl (which is Julian's theory as to why Caspoan said Caspian is not his "real name", which is true. The only reason Caspian ever claimed to have been named differently is due to his trans identity and having been registered differently as a child.) and was adopted by Saint Agnes' lighthouse keeper, Dr. Sutherland, around the age of 12, after which he also began transitioning rather soon. This is unusual, especially during the 70s, and is only possible due to his father's support and history in the medical field that gave him access to early transitioning. By now Caspian, miraculously, passes more than decently.
    Dr. Sutherland saved Caspian from a human trafficking circle. Caspian will never speak of this, and I don't think much depth is necessary to understand what that sort of thing would do to a child. He has little trust for anybody, and a great amount of disdain for people who try to pry into his personal life - past or current. He is extremely loyal to his adoptive father and would defend him with his life, while simultaneously resenting himself for being so dependent on him. Caspian's trauma has, quite frankly, shaped him - even if there's not much he remembers.
    He lives in the house near the lighthouse, and he avoids most people. He does have friends (plenty by now, actually), he just needs a great amount of time for himself. Not many people know what he's doing, ever, but when he's there, his presence is excessive. He sends everyone he likes letters and random gifts (ranging from actually bought things to stories, to sea shells, or dead crabs, or sea glass). He speaks plenty. He learns everything about your hobbies. He leads more than he follows, strangely, despite not seeming the type. He wasn't very popular in school. He was known, for there was always something going on with him, but he wasn't loved. He should be going to university by now, but he isn't. He works instead.
    ﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

    I can be cruel,

                                        I don't know why.

    .

    ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·

    mental health:
    Bad.
    *outro plays* I would. If it wouldn't so severely ruin the layout.


    Caspian has complex PTSD with dissociative traits. He at times hallucinates and experiences delusions, but doesn't actually meet all the modern criteria for schizophrenia. He's neurodivergent (obviously) and might fit numerous modern diagnoses but in the 1970s would just get a schizophrenia and bipolar disorder diagnosis and that's it, and given that I don't feel like being a psychology nerd today, I shall too. He has DID though, which comes with a whole cluster of overlap to other ills, such as depression, anxiety, BPD, and schizophrenia. He just doesn't know.
    ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·      ·

    I GET MEAN WHEN I'M NERVOUS LIKE A BAD DOG


    gift:
                      ..Caspian is a very ambitious man, and this leaves him, much like Liesbeth, with an impactful gift. Unlike Liesbeth, he is unhappy about his. Caspian badly wants to be a pacifist. His gift does not. His gift is murderous. His power is to manifest death.

    ·      DEATH & DESTRUCTION:
    Like most manifestation related powers, death and destruction as a goal is achieved gradually. It's not that Caspian gets angry and a man drops dead in response immediately. It's slower than that, though emotion based surely - even if that may only be because Caspian himself is too unstable to want anything at all outside of extreme emotion. The main thing that matters is resolve. Caspian will never kill fully accidentally. To a degree, he must truly want it, otherwise all he manifests is temporary chaos, obstacles, and destruction in another person's life. It'll always be circumstantial. One may cross him, then anger him, and lose their job that same week in effect. Or get into an accident, or become homeless, or develop a longterm illness. Caspian could be going about as a lighthearted mischief maker (and he most certainly does, too), but mostly knows his power as death. That's the most raw form of it, he'll say.

    ·      PHANTOMS & HORROR:
    Most people who have learned to access any sort of supernatural ability will be able to see the dead and occasionally speak with them, or with other things. That's not what I mean here, though. Caspian can create versions of what he believes the dead to be. This is not a deliberate act, and so based on his own manifestation of guilt that he wouldn't know he's the one doing it anyway. It's a bit like hallucinating monsters, except that the monsters can physically impact the world around them and be seen by others. Most of them are terrifying, because they're fear based. If Caspian were to control this aspect of his power better, it would probably translate in a higher understanding of the supernatural in general, and it'd perhaps even mean he could manifest things that are good. But for that to happen he needs to be much more grounded and stable than he currently is, so that's a long way to go.
    At times, the visits of these entities are almost prophetic, like ill omens. When he meets a person who is dangerous with ill intent, a monster will haunt him as a warning.


    POETRY and ANARCHY


    I ask god to send a swordsman
    and god says "look at your hands"

    .

    ﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏


    relationships:

    ·      Dr. John Sutherland      |      FATHER
    Whoever gave birth to Caspian is entirely irrelevant to him. John Sutherland is his true father, and that's that. He looks up immensely to the old lighthouse keeper, even if he doesn't quite like being so attached to another person. It's a helpless sort of attachment. Caspian is loyal as a dog to his father. If John Sutherland says "jump", Caspian will ask "how high?" - so it's good that Dr. Sutherland is not the type to exploit this loyalty. John Sutherland was once a surgeon, but now he is no more. He is a lighthouse keeper who stays away from the townfolk. He's a wise man without his son's temper who was born on the island as the son of a native woman and a white immigrant. He adopted Caspian when Caspian was 12 and still a girl.

    ·      Julian Linden      |      BEST FRIEND
    It's never really clear what's going on between Julian and Caspian. They're an unlikely pair, and yet they make perfect sense. Neither seem to know whether they actually are friends, but to the outside world they are. Best friends, even. Few people understand Julian as well as Caspian does, and the same goes vice versa. However, Caspian does not trust Julian in the slightest. There are days where he truly resents him, even - though this never lasts for very long.
    They communicate in odd ways - their first experiment together on the paranormal might have been to attempt telepathy, that's how close they're content being. They use the same codes. Both speak numerous languages. It's hard to understand them when they're in the same room. And if this weren't a public RPG where they should get to individually slut around they'd be fucking.


    Other characters will be added in an impression list.

    you knew me in a former life - a messianic argonaut

    hobbies & skills:

    Keeping this brief to indulge my laziness. As a treat. At least brief enough to just write it down into a list with little explanation, or you and I both will be exhausted and very bored by the end of it.

          Sailing, swimming, and diving. Caspian loves being in the water. The sea around Saint Agnes may technically be too cold for it, but he does it anyway. This also gives him a decent amount of knowledge of knots and ships in general. He has a lot of useless facts about ships he doesn't own.
          Reading. Perhaps somewhat expected. He is, after all, quite the nerd.
          Writing, mostly poetry. He's a dreamer. Those dreams have to go somewhere.
          Learning new languages and alphabets.
          Math, mostly higher math.
          Logic puzzles and mystery solving. This is, of course, evident in his liking of cracking codes and solving math problems - but it extends into anything that includes humans also. He might actually enjoy that more.
          Forensics, psychology, and other unmentioned sciences, but mostly these.






    ·








    you're so easy to read - but the book is boring me
    .


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    extra:
    LIKES: Literature, the sea, his father, swimming, sailing, socialism, old science fiction (think Jules Verne, Frankenstein), philosophy, ancient history, theology (but only as a study), dogs, birds, marine biology, math, linguistics, code, psychology, poetry, forensics, detective novels, murder mysteries, spoken word, eating while he works, sweet treats, puzzles, justice
    DISLIKES: Organized religion, systems of oppression (he's quite read on most of them, including those that do not affect him personally, making him more opinionated than most), three piece suits (he thinks they're ugly), bad smells, Hollywood, television, beer, coffee, bitter tastes in general, he IS a picky eater, Sigmund Freud, poorly written fiction, designer clothes, Julian (but only a bit)
    FEARS: Many things, so I shan't bother to put them all down. His main fear is being a bad person, and after that comes betrayal.
    JOB: He works as the assistant of a boat mechanic.
    RELIGION: Caspian is an atheist leaning agnostic. He's too cynical to embrace the idea of a god, but too curious regarding the paranormal to fully reject it.

    MOODBOARD & PLAYLIST

    [ bericht aangepast op 24 jan 2024 - 14:36 ]


    obsessive rage