• SPRINGFIELD UNIVERSITY
                                                               

    This is an all english RPG, which means that we write the characters and posts in english and we expect you to be able to write good post, with correct grammar and use of words and punctation. Of course you can chat in dutch.

    In this RPG we'll follow a couple of students attending Springfield University– a university only willing to accept the best students, or the richest. Springfield is an university with a high reputation as well in sports as in grades. Students come from all over the world to attend and almost no one starts or ends in any other year than the first and last year. To get in Springfield University students will need the best grades and motivation

          • Studies
    Students can follow a wide variety of studies at Springfield, of which all include a lot of colleges and work you have to do on your own. The students we follow follow either of the courses on this list. Most of those studies include some kind of separation in the higher years.
    — Architecture
    — Graphic Design
    — Politics
    — Physiology
    — History
    — Science
    — Biology
    — Engineering
    — Art
    — English literature
    — Law
          • Dorms
    Springfield University has a roomie plan, which means that at the beginning of your first year, you get paired up with someone else from your own gender, and you guys will have to share a dorm room for your coming years. Your dorm includes two one-person beds which you can set to almost any height and can also pair up, two desk, two closets, two chairs, two nightstand and two dressers. You are allowed to move your furniture around in any way you like, but it has to stay in your room. Cleaning your room is your own responsibility. Boys and Girls are not allowed to be in each others dorm room while the door being closed and not allowed in at any time between 19.00 and 7.00. The dorms are checked every evening so there is no way of students sneaking in or out. In the evening there's a patrol at the doors, except between 1.00 and 4.00, but there still is an alarm on the building. The list of roommates will be made at the opening of the writing topic with a randomizer.
          • Sports
    Sports are high-valued at Springfield University, though not a must. Athletes are well-known and most of them are populair. The cheerleading and football team are above all, most valued and most populair. The selection process for those includes a lot of work, and the only person secure of their place of the team another year is the person who was captain. Others all have to re-audition, and don't always get in the team again. Below is a list of all sports available at Springfield.
    — American Football (Boys Only)
    — Cheerleading (Girls Only)
    — Swimming
    — Track and Field
    — Show Jumping
          • Dress Code
    The university has no uniform, but a dress code, as that is what students prefer. During classes, students have to obey to the dress code, or they'll be sent to their dorm to change. A list of items not allowed:
    — Headwear of any way. If there is a reason you must or feel safer to, your parents have to have contacted the university's principal.
    — Any suggestive graphic on clothing.
    — Skirts, dresses or pants shorter than 15cm above the knee.
    — Suggestive clothing.
    — Heels over 8cm high.
    — Pants or shorts worn below the waistline.
    — Stretch lycra, spandex or nylon tights, leotards, biker pants, pajama/sleepwear pants or shirts, or underwear worn as outer garments.
    — Bare-feet or flip-flops.
    — Long coats (inside)
    — Pyjamas
    — Showing underwear.
          • Years
    Students can enroll at Springfield directly after high school, or after a break-year. In the RPG we'll follow second year students.
    1 — 18/19 or 19/20
    2 — 19/20 or 20/21
    3 — 20/21 or 21/22
    4 — 21/22 or 22/23
          • Grades, Tests and Essays
    The year is split into three trimesters. At the end of your last trimester, you'll have an exam to determine whether you can go on to your next year. The other trimesters end with a big test, that counts 20% or that years exam, which counts 15% on your graduation exam. Students are allowed to get three tests pro subject every trimester, and two essays.The grading goes on a percentage-scale. This percentage builds up, so at the end of your year you could reach a maximum of 1800%, though no one ever was able to reach that.
          • Rules
    — No fighting, bullying or any way of harassing fellow students or Professors is allowed.
    — Never destroy or do harm to any of the University's possesions or the University itself.
    — Do not skip classes if you haven't got a valid reason to do so.
    — Any form of fraud is strictly forbidden and you will be punished severely for it.
    — Normal society rules also apply at the University.
          • Roomie plan
          Girls
    • Lieke Bregtje van Diepen and Elza Delilah Morrow
    • Averly Ann Daemor and Lexi Amelia Everest
    • Lucy Cho Fitzgerald and Faelyn Bree Ahearn
    • Alexis Mae Boyer and Camilla Sydney Marissa Fernandes
    • Charlotte Qais Teller Joneson and Probie's character
    Ellipsism's character and ?
          Boys
    • Elijah Valentijn Valencia and Finley Sebastian Rutherford
    • Flyn Levi Thatcher and Sam Brian Moores
    Ellipsism's character and Aurelian Narcisse Ainsworth
    • Luka Ábel Petrovic and Wallen's character
    • Sebastien Javier Dominguez and Cain Timothy Acardi
    • Joshua Niall Teagan and Reynald Donatello Bowen


    Sports

          • American Football
    Captain —
    Offense
    Guard (2) ––
    Tackle (2) ––
    Center (1) ––
    Quarterback (1) ––
    Running back (3) ––
    Wide receiver (2) ––
    Tight end (2) ––
    Defense
    Tackle (2) ––
    End (2) ––
    Middle linebacker (1) ––
    Outside linebacker (2) ––
    Cornerback (2) ––
    Safety (2) ––
          • Cheerleading
    Captain ––
    Reserve Captain/Under Captain ––
    Other (12) ––
    • Alexis Mae Boyer
    • Charlotte Qais Teller Joneson
    • Lexi Amelia Everest
          • Track and Field
          • Swimming
    • Luka Ábel Petrovic
    • Lucy Cho Fitzgerald
          • Show Jumping
    • Joshua Niall Teagan


    Roles
    Name — Study — Faceclaim — User — Page
    [Girls/Boys: 12/11]
    • Lieke Bregtje van Diepen — Graphic Design — Holland Roden — Deamus — 1.12
    • Averly Ann Daemor — History — Emilia Clarke — Anemoia — ?
    • ? — ? — ? — Probie — ?
    • Alexis Mae Boyer — Physiology — Danielle Campbell — Dysthymia — 1.3
    • Lucy Cho Fitzgerald — Law — Jenn Im — Daggers — 1.2
    • ? — ? — ? — Ellipsism — ?
    • Charlotte Qais Teller Joneson — Cara Delevingne — Science — Dinkleberg — 1.3
    • Rhea Alyx Metaxas — History — Amanda Steele — Sempre — 1.4
    • Lexi Amelia Everest — Architecture — Lauren Cohan — Caprice — 1.4
    • Elza Delilah Morrow — Science — Vanessa Moe — Malfoys — 1.6
    • Faelyn Bree Ahearn — Politics — Alexis Ren — Vellichor — 1.9
    • Camilla Sydney Marissa Fernandes — Biology — Cindy Mello — Xanthopoulos — 1.12

    • Elijah Valentijn Valencia — Law — ? — Anemoia — 1.12
    • Flyn Levi Thatcher — English Literature — Sean O'Pry — GusWaters — 1.3
    • Luka Ábel Petrovic — History — Alessio Pozzi — Raccoon — 1.3
    • ? — ? — ? — Ellipsism — ?
    • ? — ? — ? — Wallen — ?
    • Aurelian Narcisse Ainsworth — Law — Jordan Barett — Xanthopoulos — 1.3
    • Cain Timothy Acardi — Art — Francisco Lachowski — Vellichor — 1.10
    • Finley Sebastian Rutherford — History — ? — Dumbledore — 1.5
    • Joshua Niall Teagan — English Literature — Finn Harries — BenjaminSolo — 1.9
    • Sam Brian Moores — Biology — Nick Bateman — Necessity — 1.11
    • Sebastien Javier Dominguez — Graphic Design — Andre Hamman — Atlas — 1.11

    RPG Rules

    • Posts are at least 200 words.
    • Post regularly.
    • Be nice to each other.
    • Posts are in English only! OOC is allowed in Dutch.
    • Make a full post, meaning a picture, a name, your post and the study of your character
    • 16+ is allowed, but warn in the top of you post in red so people who don't want to read it don't have to.
    • Quizlet house rules.
    • Only Deamus and Anemoia make the topics, unless stated otherwise.
    • There's no character limit - but don't take more than you can handle.
    • When you want to reserve another character, please pay attention to the amount of boys and girls and keep that in mind when deciding on the gender. If there's a stop there's a stop. There is no wait-list, so first the first to actually claim the role gets it.
    • You only have to write English in your Character Sheet and in the Writing topic.
    • If you aren't writing with fun anymore, you can quit the RPG but not before you write a post where your character leaves the conversation/gets send off to another school/etc.
    • Read the whole topic!

    The Start

    We'll start on October 19th, around 13.00, a saturday. On the 31st of October, there'll be a big halloween ball for the whole school in costume. It's a regular saturday, without any big games. Just two weeks ago the football team won a big game.
    Trainings on saturday:
    Cheerleading: 10.00-12.00
    Football: 16.00-18.00
    Track and Field: 9.00-11.00
    Show Jumping: 19.30-21.30
    Swimming: 15.00-17.00

    [ bericht aangepast op 2 feb 2016 - 19:49 ]


    take me back to the basics and the simple life

    Lexi (‘Lex’) Amelia Everest
    Architecture

    Lexi hoped that Flyn his costume would make it until the end of the night. Which was pretty hard since he would definitely sweat a bit, whatever happened, and if he would touch his face with his hand the paint would already blur a bit. But for now, it looked great. 'you look beautiful too' she accepted the compliment with a smile. 'you're probably the most beautiful mummy I have ever seen'. Now she just had to laugh. ‘I’m sure you saw a lot of mummies’ she replied, with a wink, teasing him a bit.
    She didn’t took this as insulting. She could see that Flyn thought that she might had considered this as insulting, since he was looking a bit insecure. That’s why she gave him another crazy happy smile, her smile that only good friends would see. Whenever she was excited or just in a happy / crazy mood, she would show this one smile.
    She followed Flyn his gaze and saw that he was looking at Faelyn and… some guy she didn’t know. Ugh, why did she had to be with him? He didn’t look interesting to her at all. Faelyn, however, looked as hot as she always did, and Lexi couldn’t help but looking a bit longer than normal at her while she was still dancing. Why did she always had a crush on the unavailable? She quickly look another sip from her drink and looked at Flyn. She shouldn’t think about Faelyn right now, she was with Flyn.

    Flyn was a pretty good dancer, which also made him an excellent partner for this party. ‘Come on Lexi Pexi let’s make this a wonderful evening’,
    ‘Sure, Flynny Pinnieh’ she said enthusiastic too. That wouldn’t be a problem. If the dance would be boring, they would still dance on their own, or they could sneak out of here and do some crazy stuff.
    ‘And maybe we can explore the rooftop again, you never know’, She heard him whisper, and that reminded her of the previous time that they did that. It didn’t go as well as planned, but the memory of it was still fun to her. She also did some quirky dance moves and took Flynn his arm to spin him around. She always liked to do that sort of things.


    Aan niets denken is ook denken.


    Reynald 'Ren' Donatello Bowen
    History || Swimming
    I was happy my date wasn't too embarresed and awkward to join me on the dancefloor. I wasn't a great dancer, but I did my best and loved it non the less. Dancing was a way of expressing myself and letting everything go. Luckily Sam joined me soon after I started dancing. His skill wasn't mentionable either, but his efforts were awesome to see. After a while I grabbed his hands, to really dance with him, with a big smile on my face. I had the most awesome boy at school to call my date, and I was hopefully going to get lucky tonight. Sammy had told me at our first date, dat he was a three-date kind of goy, and this was our third date. I didn't know if he meant it literally, but I was feeling lucky tonight non the less. Even if nothing really happened, I would still be the luckiest person in the room, because I was able to be lovey dovey with Sam. I didn't know if it was really love, or just a friendship gone mental, but I loved to call him mine, and beat him in the pool. I pulled him closer to me and looked him straight into his eyes. "Tonight is going to be ours." It was just a murme, but probably enough for him to hear and understand me. That's when I kissed him. The kiss was full of fire and passion, but for the outside nothing more than a long peck. It was a bit too early to passionately neck on in the middle of the dancefloor. We'd probably also be send away with detention if we did that, for soething like improper conduct. That didn't mean I was going to keep my hands of my date. He wasn't my date for no reason. I could get a lot of people if I wanted to, and so could he, but we'd chosen to go together, even with matching costumes. I slowly pulled back, to give him another flashing smile. "Tomorrow's going to be hell." It might sound like a joke, but it surely wasn't. Tomorrow morning would start early, as per usual, but training with a few hours sleep and possibly a hangover wouldn't be as doable as a normal Friday morning training. We might not have lessons, but training never slowed down. I gave him another peck on his lips and started dancing again, hoping to get my mind off tomorrow's training again.


    Bowties were never Cooler

    SAM      BRIAN      MOORES
    “Everyone should be free to choose and build the type of relationship that works the best for themselves and their partner”
    21 years – Swimming – Bi-romantic/Ace - Biology - Costume


    I was just happy. The music, the dancing, my incredible date – everything was just perfect. We danced like nobody was watching and it was just the two of us and I enjoyed it. I had the most amazing date in the world and when he took my hands so we could dance together instead of next to each other, I just knew he had just as much fun as I had. I didn’t know what it was I felt for him, but it was definitely more than just friendship, and I was quite certain he felt it too.
    We got even closer and we stared to each other’s eyes. His eyes were beautiful and for a short moment I was caught by his stare. I almost missed the words he whispered, but when they finally reached my brain I kind of panicked on the inside. I knew what he was referring to.
    I had expected it but I still froze when he kissed me. Everything inside me screamed I had to push him away. It wasn’t right. I had to stop it.
    I didn’t stop it. I answered his kiss with as much fire as I could give him. Ren just felt right and I knew I would ruin everything if I wouldn’t answer it. He would find out about me and my flaws, and well, I wouldn’t be able to handle the looks of disgust he would definitely give me. Experience had taught me people would look at me like that and leave me, and I didn’t want him to leave.
    “Tomorrow’s going to be hell,” he jokingly said. I might imagined it, but I thought I heard something suggestive in his words. Yes, the training would be hell without sleep, but that didn’t worry me. We would survive it.
    “Let’s make it worth it then,” I answered him with a grin as we started dancing again. Dancing felt more right for me and I really relaxed while dancing with him. I still couldn’t take my eyes away from him and followed once again every move he made with my eyes. I just loved it. He made everything look so easy and made me feel like I could do anything.
    I moved a little closer to him. “Let’s get something to drink,” I whispered in his ear. “Or we’ll stay here a little longer,” I continued. We could stay on the dance floor all night long. I wouldn’t get bored – not as long he would be here too.


    The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.

    Faelyn Bree Ahearn
    2nd year - politics & cheerleading. Costume


    It didn't take us too long to get to the bar, since it was the first place we were heading to and we weren't planning on losing any time tonight. When he asked me what kind of drink I wanted, I didn't really know what to answer. We weren't really allowed to get drinks yet. I got however two blowjobs, which sounds weirder than it actually is. It was so busy, most of the time they just went with out and maybe it helped two of my older friends were standing alongside me. But they were gone within seconds after I flashed a smile.
    "Is this your new boyfriend?" one of them asked curiously, but the other one shoved her.
    "Ashley! You can't.. I don't believe you, go go. Have fun Lyn!" and the girls started walking. I giggled and bit my lip, before turning to Joshua again.
    "They can get a bit overexcited, I suppose," I apologize for their behavior, not sure what part I'm exactly apologizing for. Some boy, trying to order a drink shoves me a little, trying to get closer to the bar, so I am forced to step closer to Joshua. I almost stand against him, not knowing where to place my hands, so I just hold my skirt and I swear if I looked up my lips would be touching his, so I just stand there mumbling sorry, before taking a step back again. Of course, I first took in his scent. Then I stutter. "Do you want to dance, or get another drink?"


    We've lived in the shadows for far too long.


    Joshua Niall Teagan
    English Literature || Show Jumping

    I was just ordering drinks, when two of her friends joined us. I listened with half an ear, while ordering drinks. I hear something about boyfriend and some names. I wasn't sure, but when I turned to Faelyn with the drinks, they weren't here anymore. I gave her a smile and her drink. "It's okay. Everybody can be some day or another." I brushed it off, though soewhere deep down the words settled and started nibbling away at my soul. Because of the amount of people here, she was pressed up against me, which meant we were a little too close to be comfortable. It was not that I minded being close to her, but I wanted it to be voluntairy, instread of a force neither of us could control. Ik smiled again at her question and nodded. "Let's get out of here. This is really awkward." I took her hand and lead her to the dancefloor. I wasn't a dancer, never had been, and never would be. I also hadn't had enough to drink yet, so I was just standing there, awkwardly, with my arms around her waist, really waiting for her to take initiative and start dancing. I needed to be far more wasted and far less uncomfortable, would I be able to care little enough to dance with her, without any assistance. The fact that she was one of the most beautiful people here, didn't really help with the entire situation. I was glad she wore more clothes than most sluttily dressed ladies, but she still showed more skin than I'd ever seen of a girl, other than my family members, since I was 7. We had never had enough money to go to the pool, and my parents had to work a lot, which meant we never went to the beach or had bathing suits or something. I could swim, due to lessons provided by a program for poor children concerning safety around water. I had never been in the water since. For now I kept my eyes on the girl in my arms and waited, while the music played. I was glad I'd dared to ask her, but stil not sure if I should have, because she deserved a date so much better than I. I was just a poor green kid, who had borrowed some stage make-up. I didn't know what to do at a schooldance, and what to do at a date. I hoped she would forgive me for it, because I really wouldn't want to loose her as a friend.

    [Sorry voor de crappy post]


    Bowties were never Cooler


    Reynald 'Ren' Donatello Bowen
    History || Swimming
    I ws in one of the mental places I'd loved to be in. I was happy, having fun, not worrying about anything. Yeah, maybe the petty little thing of training tomorrow morning, but nothing more. We kissed, which made the world fade bit by bit, and we danced, which made everything else loose its meaning. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care if we'd be knackered tomorrow during the training, I didn't care if I got lucky tonight, though I still hoped so, and I certainly didn't care about anyone or anything else in the world than Sam en me. It all seemed so easy, like it just should be this way. I wanted this moment to never end. The problem was that the moment was cruedly ended by Sam who proposed that we would get a drink. I wasn't really interested, I'd rather dance with him, but I knew that people with sticks up their buts needed some booze to be able to propperly let go. I also fancied some boose maybe later tonight, but just for the taste of it. Luckily he left me the choise, because drinks weren't on my mind yet. He was on my mind, his fabulous body and amazing lips. He was great in every single way and I wanted him in every single way. "Can we just dance a little more, Sammy? We can always get pissed off our minds later. I just want to create some great memories, before we do that, so we'll at least remember something of this night." I kissed him again, short and soft this time, just to make my point that little bit clearer, before I went on dancing with him. I could honestly dance for hours, especially with a kid like Sam as my partner. We also really needed to show these dumbfucks what dancing really was, because what they were doing was downright pathetic. Not that my tecnique was on point, but I put my heart and soul into it, and moved with the music, instead of fighting it, what some suckers were trying to do. I let Sam twirl in my arms and snickered softly. "You look like a beautiful princess twirling the night away." I joked, before kissing his cheek and letting him twirl once more. I was only joking, because he was honestly the hottest and most handsome prince of the whole ball. It was just in the nature of our relationship to joke around with eachother. I coudn't help it, even not in this setting. Suddenly the music changed into a slower song, which made me pull Sam even closer to me, untill our bodies touched and I could feel his warm breath against my skin. My hands slowly moved to his butt, to cup it. It might not be the most appropriate thing to do, but I loved his butt and touching it, so I sure as hell wasn't going to leave it untouched if I could help it.


    Bowties were never Cooler

    Flyn Levi Thatcher
    English literature


    Living in a dreamy fantasy

    ‘Sure, Flynny Pinnieh’, Lexi said and Flyn smiled. 'you could have come up with something more original but it's okay', he laughed because Lexi had chosen simular words as his.
    Flyn felt relieved because the atmosphere was good and more relaxed than before. He laughed when Lexi spinned him around because he liked that a lot. When he was a child, his mom used to that when Flyn was bored or grumpy and it always made him happy again. Flyn was glad he was here with Lexi. Things were not awkward between the two of them and being with Lexi was always fun.
    He looked around and saw everyone getting close to their date. He was sure someone would kiss this evening. Probably that someone wouldn't be him. Sure he would love to taste someones lips but he had never kissed before. Everyone thought he used to tell that he kissed a lot of beautiful girls. Only faelyn knew that wasn't true. He wouldn't even know how to get close to a girl.
    He shaked his head. He shouldn't be worried about that right now, he should have fun and that's why he ordered a new drink.
    There were not a lot of people who were dancing but Flyn did not care. He danced with Lexi almost the whole time.
    Flyn started to like this party more and more and the drinks were not the only reason he was having more fun than before. He didn't even know why he was so happy at this moment but he just felt like that. He felt like he could do everything, like he could save the world. That's why he started spinning around and around. And he laughed meanwhile everything and everyone around him seemed so hazy. And at a certain moment he began to feel dizzy. He tried to stop spinning around but he lost his feeling of balance because everything seemed to spin around. He fell on a someone and his drink seemed to fly through the air, landing on someone else. And Flyn was just lying there on the ground - well actually he was lying on a person, not the ground -

    [ bericht aangepast op 18 april 2016 - 20:11 ]


    Ik wil vrij zijn zoals de wind

    SAM      BRIAN      MOORES
    “Everyone should be free to choose and build the type of relationship that works the best for themselves and their partner”
    21 years – Swimming – Bi-romantic/Ace - Biology - Costume


    The lights, the music, his date. It was just perfect. I just couldn’t remove my smile when I saw my perfect date dance. He looked so happy and so passionate. I could definitely watch him dance forever. Who needed sleep, food or air? Well, I didn’t. Being able to watch Ren, to dance with him, was enough for me. It was more than I had ever expected to get.
    “Of course we can. Let’s create some memories,” I answered and he kissed me again. I definitely didn’t like that part and it made me really uncomfortable, but I knew that was the price I had to pay for an awesome night with an awesome person. I really wanted to create memories with him. He looked amazing and our dancing felt great and I wanted to remember this night.
    We danced together and everything around us was a blur. I felt the music in my heart and I knew that there were others here, but I couldn’t care less about that. I just wanted him here tonight and everything else was not important.
    His words made me grin and I pulled him a little bit closer, so I could whisper in his ear. Well, whisper… It still needed to be quite loud to be heard, because the music was loud. Loud enough to be felt inside my body and make my heart follow the beat.
    “As long as you’re the prince then,” I jokingly answered him. That was just how we acted around each other. Joking, laughing, trying to beat each other. We’d always motivated each other to do our best and give everything we got, and even now we did that. We both wanted to impress the other and have fun, so we danced and danced and danced.
    When the music changed, we got even closer. I could feel his breath in my neck and it didn’t take a lot of imagination to feel his heart beating against my chest. I felt how he touched my butt. I didn’t want that. It didn’t feel right and tonight had to feel right. I was probably going to regret this in a few seconds, but I slowly took his hand and placed it a little higher, so he touched my back instead of my butt. It was a little better this way.
    “Please don’t, there are others here,” I whispered jokingly, but my heart was beating too loud. He could probably hear it. I was just so scared he would run away now. They all had done it once they had find out. I didn’t want him to run away. I wanted him to stay and to dance with and to have fun with me.

    [ bericht aangepast op 24 maart 2016 - 16:40 ]


    The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.


    Reynald 'Ren' Donatello Bowen
    History || Swimming
    It was just great to dance with Sam and have fun with him. He was an awesome guy and a great dancer, or at least he danced with passion and that was enough for me. The music seemed to fuse our bodies together, as we joked aroud and danced the night away. Joking was what we did, always, but there was something special between us, that I had with nobody else. When the music changed, we changed, and got even closer to eachother. I could feel his breath on my skin and feel his heart beating against my chest. I slowly let my hands go it his butt. His buns were firm and round, perfect for squeezing and touching. It was great, for the time being, because soon afer he put my hands up to his back. I did a step back and looked at him. Look, it was possible his words were the truth, but it felt so odd. There were people dry-humping all around us, so touching butts shouldn't be such a biggie. But it was... For him at least. I sighed and stroked his hair with the back of my hand. "What's the problem, Sammy? Am I moving too fast?" I wasn't sure. The times I was with someone, I'd hit the jackpot on the first night. I didn't know better and I liked it that way. I had already waited with Sam for the third date, something I'd never done before, but he was really cute and I didn't want to rush him. The thing was, that I had been without for a few weeks now, and I really wanted to get some soon, sooner rather than later. If we were going too fast, I wanted to know. I knew I was demanding, I wasn't easily satisfied and loved attention. I also loved fysical signs of love: stroking, snogging, seks. I needed it, and Sam was holding it off, something I deemed quite weird, especially now we'd been on several dates and we were still struggling to go second base. I lookd him dead in the eye and waited for his answer. I didn't want to break his heart, and I didn't want to force him into it, but if it really wasn't going to happen, I might just ask him for a free pass for tonight, just to get it out of my system. I didn't know why he has stopped me, if it was because he was a virgin, or if he was afraid he wouldn't measure up or had trouble performing, I could help him with that, be patient and understanding, but I really needed to get off tonight. It had been too long and I didn't really like getting off to porn on my own. Especially not now I had such a handsome guy hooked, that had said he was a three date kind of guy, and this was the third date. I was just starting to wonder why he was still holding it off, because that had never happened to me before.


    Bowties were never Cooler

    SAM      BRIAN      MOORES
    “Everyone should be free to choose and build the type of relationship that works the best for themselves and their partner”
    21 years – Swimming – Bi-romantic/Ace - Biology - Costume


    Ren didn’t believe me. I knew it the moment I spoke those words and I knew I had ruined it. We had had so much fun together and something special and of course I was the one who was able to ruin it. When he stepped back it felt like I broke in pieces but at the same time it was a relief. I didn’t want him to leave me, but it felt better to have distance.
    When he had asked me if he was moving too fast, I couldn’t hold back a short, sarcastic laugh. Hell yes, he was moving too fast. Everything was too fast for me. The kissing, the touching, everything. I knew he needed physical contact with people. Maybe that was why I had always known it wouldn’t work between us. But that didn’t change everything we had and how it felt to be with him. Something inside me had always told me it would end with a broken heart, but I had ignored that and I had tried. I knew he was really patient with me and I loved that about him, but knowing he couldn’t be patient forever scared me. We had something special and I didn’t want to lose that – I didn’t want to lose him.
    His look made me nervous. I knew I had to give an explanation, but I just couldn’t. How could you tell people you were a freak? Everything inside me screamed that I had to get out of here and suddenly the air seemed to change. It didn’t feel great anymore. The music and the dancing weren’t perfect anymore. It all felt like it was suffocating me. Everyone was too close and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
    I probably looked very pale when I stammered that I needed to go outside and fled. I didn’t know where the exit was. All I knew was that there were too many people here, that there was too little space for me and that I couldn’t breathe. I have no idea how I finally got outside, but at some moment I noticed the fresh air in my lungs.
    I ruined tonight. I had had such a wonderful time with Ren and I really hoped he had enjoyed it as much as I had done, but I knew it was over now. I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have ruined his night, our night, us. We could have had so much more time together if this hadn’t happened. It would have happened eventually, but not now.


    The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.


    Reynald 'Ren' Donatello Bowen
    History || Swimming || costume
    I'd made a mistake. I just wanted to make this night memorable, I didn't want to force myself on him. I had just thought he wanted this too, this had just proven me wrong. It proved that I had to stop thinking and start using words. I was just so used to moing fast, and I craved it, that I had a hard time containing myself, especially now, at a party and our third date. I just wished he'd tell me what was wrong that I could keep it in mind, help him, work with him, instead of guessing and clearly getting it wrong. He seemed to think differently about that, because he mumbled something about fresh air, and was gone within a second. I could hardly keep track of him, stumbling towards the door. I was real worried, heart-broken and worried. I'd ruined tonight, ruined us, by rushing all this. I still wanted to fix this, but I was afraid of ruining it even more than I already had. I walked to the bar and sneaked to the front to get two glasses of beer, before I walked outside, looking for Sam. I didn't want to upset him even more, but if we really wanted to take this further, and that was something that had crossed my mind, however briefly, we had to talk. We had to talk anyways, because we were on thesame swimming team, and needed to be able to work and train together comfortably.
    It took me a while to find the boy, but I finally managed and went to stand in front of him, hoping not to startle him. "I'm sorry for what happened, Sammy. I let myself go and I shouldn't have. I know this shouldn't be the time for it, but I don't want this to ruin tonight... So I brought you a beer." I handed it to him, before softly taking his other hand. "Can we sit and talk?" I turned him around with a soft movement and sat down on a step that was close. I didn't know if he wanted to talk, but I didn't want to leave this between us, to ruin this night that started out so amazing. I looked up at him with my big puppy dog eyes, that clearly showcased my emotions. I was hurt and broken, though I wanted to hide it, my eyes could never lie. I let his hand go and waited for him to either walk away or sit down next to me. It was his choice: If he wanted to stop this right now, he could do so, though I hoped not, and otherwise we could try to resolve what was causing the tension between us.


    Bowties were never Cooler

    SAM      BRIAN      MOORES
    “Everyone should be free to choose and build the type of relationship that works the best for themselves and their partner”
    21 years – Swimming – Bi-romantic/Ace - Biology - Costume


    Even though I was breathing fast – too fast I guess – my lungs didn’t seem to fill with air. I felt like the world was spinning around me and I couldn’t change anything about it. Maybe it wasn’t the world that was spinning. Maybe it was just my life. I couldn’t stop it or change anything about it. I could just watch how it all fell apart.
    A familiar voice reached my ears. It had an oddly calming effect on me. Even after I ran away from the boy in front of me, he was still there. Not for long, I was sure of that, but for now. My breathing finally calmed down and the world stopped with the spinning.
    “No, no, stop apologizing,” I told the boy. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I took the beer from him. My hands were still shaking. I meant my words. He didn’t do anything wrong. With every other person everything would have been alright and he would have had an amazing evening. He just had the misfortune that he was with me, instead of someone else.
    “Talking sounds good,” I answered and I sat down next to him, with the beer clutched in my hands. I could see that he was hurt, and I knew it was my fault. He didn’t understand it, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to explain it to him. It would be best if I did, for him at least, but for me it would be difficult. Too difficult perhaps.
    “I’m sorry,” I whispered after a long time of silence. “I never wanted to ruin your night.” Your night. Not ours. It wasn’t ours anymore after all this. I wanted that it was still our night, but I knew it couldn’t be. It would spare so much pain if I would accept it now, instead of hoping for something that wouldn’t happen anymore.
    “I got a bit claustrophobic I guess.” It was easier to blame it on my claustrophobia. People understood what that meant. Technically it wasn’t a lie. I got claustrophobic inside. I just didn’t tell the reason why.
    I wanted the broken pieces to be mend. I didn’t want to see him hurt like this. We had had a wonderful time, I had enjoyed his company. It couldn’t end like this. I didn’t want it to end like this. I really liked the boy next to me and for one time I wanted a happy ending – with him.


    The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.


    Reynald 'Ren' Donatello Bowen
    History || Swimming || costume
    I gave Sammy his beer, glad he accepted my offer te talk, because this night shouldn't have played out like this. We should have just kept dancing and drinking while the night disappeared around us. I just had to push it too far and now we were sitting here, outside in the cold, emotions running sky-high and a change on getting our perfect datenight back close to zero. He didn't want me to apologise anymore, which was hard, because I truely felt that I had screwed it up, big time. He sat down next to me and held onto his beer like it was his lifeline. I took a sip of mine and waited. He didn't want me to apologies, so I waited for him to start talking. After a silence that seemed to last a lifetime, he finally started, with an ungrounded apology. This didn't mean I directly interupted him. We were both suckers for emotional crap, so him doing something like this was a rarity, and I didn't want to stop him. After he was done, I put my beer down between my feet and wrappen my now empty hands around his, that were around his cold beerglass. "Sam, look at me, please. You didn't ruin OUR night." I layed emphasis on 'our', because this wasn't about me, it was about him as much as about me, so it was about us. "And claustrophobia can happen, it is nothing to be embarrassed about, or to say sorry for." I moved one hand from his to his cheek, to force him to look at me. "But you'll tell me if it's something else, right? I don't want things to be or to get awkward between us due to one of us keeping secrets from the other." I slowly let him go and picked up my beer again, to take a sip. I wasn't good with this emotional stuff, and was now hiding behind my beer, just to give myself something to do, instead of making it even more awkward by staring at him. I sighed and took another sip. I didn't do serious relationships, but I wanted to change that, for him and him alone. The trouble was that this was making it hard. I felt that it hadn't only been claustrophobia to ruin the moment, but also my fysical clinginess. The problem was, that I had no clue what he did and didn't like, and how I could best show him my affection for him. I wouldn't call it love yet, because we'd just started dating, but I did like have him around, and that was a big thing for me. I just wished he'd let me know what his boundaries were, so I could respect them, instead of letting something like this happen, and ruin everything.

    [ bericht aangepast op 10 april 2016 - 23:28 ]


    Bowties were never Cooler

    SAM      BRIAN      MOORES
    “Everyone should be free to choose and build the type of relationship that works the best for themselves and their partner”
    21 years – Swimming – Bi-romantic/Ace - Biology - Costume


    He let me talk and I was glad about that. I was terrible with stuff like this and I was sure he was too, so his silence made it a little easier to say the words I had to say. I wasn’t sure I could speak them if he had interrupted me and I had to start again. After I was done speaking, he wrapped his hands around mine. I felt the heat from his hands against my cold skin. It actually felt good. I had never liked even this kind of touching, but with him things seemed different. Holding hands wasn’t much maybe, but for me it was, especially when it felt this right. I’d never experienced that.
    I smiled a little when he emphasized ‘our’. “Our night. Yeah, I like that,” I answered. I found it difficult to say the words, because I hated to be this open and vulnerable, but this time I had to speak the words, instead of just think them. I had to open up a little for Ren if I wanted to save everything that wasn’t broken yet. I had to let him know I wanted us as much as he wanted, maybe even more. I wanted him to know how much I already cared about him, but maybe this wasn’t the time to say that, so I hoped he could hear it in my voice and read it in my eyes.
    He forced me to look at him when he said that there was nothing to say sorry for. Claustrophobia could happen. I just nodded, knowing that for me it was something to say sorry for. I had known this was going to happen and, well, I had ignored everything my mind had told me until it had been too late.
    When he said that he didn’t want any secrets between us, I knew he knew there was something more going on here and for a short second I panicked. What if he figured it out? When was he going to say goodbye? When would he start using it against me, call me a monster? No, no, calm down, I told myself. How could he guess that? Who would guess this?
    “Of course I’ll tell you,” I told him, but I knew I wouldn’t. How could you tell the boy who really needed physical relationships that he was never getting that from you? “But you’ll tell me the same, right?”
    I didn’t want this kind of tension between us. I wanted what we had at the beginning of the evening. The fun, the laughs. So after a few sips of my beer, I took my hat – which I surprisingly enough hadn’t lost when I had fled – and put it onto his head. “You look handsome, Rabbit,” I said with a smile. It was a weak attempt, I knew it, but I hoped he would play along, so that we could mend what was left of this evening.


    The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.


    Reynald 'Ren' Donatello Bowen
    History || Swimming || costume
    I was glad that Sam accepted the fact that I corrected him on our night, because it was really ours, no matter what happened. The probem was that I had the feeling he was hiding something from me, something that could shift a lot of balances in this universe. It felt far from good, and filled me with fear of the moment to come when all cards were layed out on the table. This was why I asked him to tell me the secrets who were between us. No steady relationship could be built on lies and clouds. Being in love might feel like living in a castle on a cloud, it couldn't change into a forever home, unless it head a steady and reliable base. His words made me smile a weak smile and fold my hands in my lap again. "Of course" I promised him. I'd never keep a secret from him. He was my best friend and the one person I might ever want to start a serious relationship with. My eyes drifted from him to my glass of beer, which was still almost full, and I leant forward with my lowerarms resting on my legs. I sighed and picked it up again, to down half of it at once. Just when I put it down to breath, I felt Sam put something on my head, over one of my fake ears, which I guessed was his hat. I looked at him from the side and flashed him a soft and tender smile, with a bit of awkwardness mixed in. My cheeks were slightly rosey due to his compliment. "I wish I could give you something back, my fabulous Hatter." I put my hand on his knee and let my eyes find his. "Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you." I sang softly, my Boston accent thicker than anything else, though a tiny bit of Italian came through too. I was far from an amazing singer, but it helped me to express my feelings better than anything else, just like dancing. I hummed on softly, waiting for a reaction. His reactions were usually quite readable from his face, but not always, though he was worse at hiding his emotions than I was. I had no idea what he was going to do. This had been a full on declaration of love, my first one ever, and it had left me, and especially my usually quite sound walls, shaken. I had no idea what would come, and how I was going to deal with it. My emotions usually already were a big ball of confusion, and this was just antagonising the ball, until it would burst. It was just a matter of how he would react and how this would end up, which way the eruption would go, possitive or negative. I waited anxiously on him, afraid of him pushing me away. I had never been in this position before, and I hated the uncertainty and the vulnerability, but I couldn't change that anymore. It was just a matter of time now.


    Bowties were never Cooler