• † † †


    † † †


    † † †

    1866, Weston, West Virginia

    The Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum for the mentally ill was founded in 1864. Since then it has had a reputation of beholding the worst of the worst. Between the walls of Trans-Allegheny die many souls who are buried in the gigantic graveyard on the edge of the grounds. It is told to be haunted with bad luck and everyone who is locked up inside, won't ever leave the grounds. Dead or alive. Now in 1866 the asylum has been reopened, after it was closed for several months due to a particularly gruesome murder inside its walls. Eight clients have been transferred from different other asylums to spend the remaining of their insane lives in Trans-Allegheny, but it is not only walls that holds the clients inside. According to the rumors, the doctors who have been appointed to take care of the clients aren't quite sane themselves. Welcome to the horrors of Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.

    R O L E S
    DOCTORS
    Killian Theodore Cliffwood • Ian Somerhalder (narcissist) // Lizor
    Edward Isaac Jones • Iwan Rheon // Shireen
    Norman Richard Galloway • David Gandy (drug addict) // Miall

    Katherine Williams • Scarlett Johansson (sadist) // Macabre
    Elaine Ophelia Hershey • Kristina Romanova // Shocker
    Adaline Ruth Baker • Elizabeth Olsen // Viraha


    PATIENTS
    Charles Alexander Madkins • fc • Paranoid Personality Disorder // Lachesism
    Henry Nicholas Reign • Daniel Bederov • Major Depressive Disorder // Viraha
    Lukas Heathford • Arthur Daniyarov • PTSD // Marlow
    Jethro Niclas Hayes • ? • Borderline personality disorder // Scythe
    Lilith Stanbury • Violet Ell • Schizophrenia/ED // Macabre
    Anastasia Florence Chau-Se • Daul Kim • Dissociative Identity Disorder // Lizor
    Therese Scottsman • Lorde • Hysteria // Shireen
    Dorothy Margaret Crawford • Cora Keegan • Bipolar // Miall


    T O P I C S
    Roletopic
    Chattopic 1, 2
    Playtopic

    S T A R T E R
    It is early in the morning and the patients arrive at Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. The doctors and nurses are ready to examine them completely before they get showed to their small rooms. The patients aren't allowed their own possessions in and have to walk around in pre scripted clothes. They have to wear white pants - men - and a long ankle skirt - women - with an elastic band instead of a fly and a white blouse.

    R U L E S
    † There is maximum of two roles.
    † Only Macabre and Lizor make new topics.
    † Posts have to contain at least 250 words.
    † No fights, unless it's in character.
    † OOC in playing topic between hooks or in the spam topic.
    † 16+ is allowed.
    † Without permission you can not control other roles.
    † Don't shut anyone out and try to read the posts from others.
    † In your post you name your name, role, location and the person you role is with.
    † No Harley Quinn's or Tate's.
    † Take the year into consideration when you pick a face claim.
    † And above all; have fun!

    [ bericht aangepast op 18 jan 2017 - 17:09 ]


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    EDWARD • ISAAC • JONES

    Doctor • 29 • Psychopathic • Examination room • with Lilith


    'I don't know. Probably. They just help me, I don't mind it. They can stay.' I didn't believe a single word of that. She was terrified, that was clear to see. And humble as I was, I was able to admit to myself that perhaps I'd had a part to play in that as well, but I did not believe that those voices helped her. If they did, she wouldn't be here.
          'Not that I know of,' she replied to my next question. She whispered. She was scared. 'I... I don't know. They came so long ago, I can't remember.' I slammed my pen to the table. She was testing my damn patience.
          'Bullshit,' I muttered. 'I think you know exactly what happened. I think you know exactly why Charles is here and why he is telling you what to do. Why won't you tell me?' I got up from my seat and approached her, still sitting on her chair. I walked behind her, and leaning my hands on the back of the wooden chair, and got down on my knees, my lips to her ear from behind.
          'Something terrible happened? Isn't that right?' I whispered, my voice was quite husky. 'Did somebody hurt you, Lilith?' I knew I was on the right path. I just knew it. My hands eventually landed on her shoulders, but before I could proceed my therapy I was distracted. Someone had knocked on my door. Who had the audacity to interrupt me like that?
          'Edward. . . It’s Adaline. Do you have a moment to talk?' I closed my eyes, sighed, and rolled them as I opened them again. Then I got up and walked to the door to unlock it.
          'Lilith, you're excused. Make sure not to wander too far, your therapy will recommence shortly.' I told her. Then I opened my door to let Adaline in.
          'Come in, have a seat.'


    'It's still a man's world, darling.'


    how dare you speak of grace

    Anastasia "Stas" Florence Chau-Se
    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”


    24 • Dissociative identity disorder • Her Room • Doctor Galloway

    He pulls off the blankets and I am just too late to grab them and pull them back. Damm it. I just keep hidden behind my curtain of hair and wrap my arms around my small body. 'Well, Miss Chau-Se. I don't think I have really locked you up, now, have I?' I scoff at his words. 'I am simply doing my job and I am doing what is best for you. I do not want you to feel like I don't care about you, because I do. I care about all of my patients and you are one of them. I know what is best for you and for me and I do not like you telling me otherwise, do you understand me?' I know he is right, but I do not feel like admitting it. I feel getting angry, but fight those feelings. I just keep sitting like that with my back towards him and then suddenly jump up. I grap his arms and look at him desperately.
          'Please sir Norman, please take me away from here. I can't dot his anymore. I can't be here anymore. It kills me. I want to be gone, away from this world. I want to be like an angel. Please help me,' I whisper and slowly let go from him. I stumble back and take a deep breath. I close my eyes for a moment and wrap my arms around my waist again. 'This world isn't kind to me. It is harsh and cold. I wish to leave it,' I mutter and notice slowly I am loosing myself. Someone is taking over my mind as I slide down the wall. 'Sometimes,' I mutter, 'I wish I could escape this prison, but he is keeping me here. I am only sometimes allowed to come up...' I look up at Norman and shake my head. 'This place is dark,' I whisper in a low voice. 'It scares me.'


    诶艾诶娜哦诶娜艾诶


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • STAS' ROOM • STAS

    Just as I plan to stand up again to leave her be in her own room, she grabs my arm and she looks at me with despair in her eyes.
          'Please sir Norman, please take me away from here. I can't do this anymore. I can't be here anymore. It kille me. I want to be gone, away from this world. I want to be like an angel. Please help me.' She then stops talking and pleading and she seems to be all over the place. First she can't stop talking and then she shuts up and doesn't talk for minutes at a time. But I notice her change in behaviour and I recognize some of the changes from earlier today, when one of her other personalities took over the Anastasia I got to know. After seeing three different personalities, I think I like Anastasia the most, because she is just kind of happy, while the others are slightly more disturbing. 'This world isn't kind to me. It is harsh and cold. I wish to leave it. Sometimes I wish I could escape this prison, but he is keeping me here. I am only sometimes allowed to come up. This place is dark. It scares me.'
          Now I know for certain that one other personality has taken over from Stas and I dig into my memory about the last time I saw this one, even though that sounds pretty harsh and rude. I actually do not care, because it is my job to take care of these people and since I have almost just talked to and with Stas, I know her best now. I want to remember how I handled her the first time, but I cannot recall. I just look at her. She's sitting against the wall and she seems very melancholic, very down and almost depressed.
          'Who are you talking about?' I decide to ask. I make sure I still have the flask of alcohol in my pocket, as well as the package of condoms — but Anastasia doesn't need to know that — because I can't have her take it. Not in this mood, because who knows what she will do to herself and others. I sit back down on the chair and I closely monitor the girl. Her hair makes sure half of her face is hidden and I have to suppress the urge to strike it away. I can't do that, not to her. With Beatrice I did it all the time, because I wanted to admire her beautiful face. With Stas it's different; she is my patient and I can't just do that. It's not that I want to admire her face, I want to know what is going on in her mind and that would be hard if she was to hide behind her hair. 'Who is keeping you... here?' I don't exactly know what to ask. I might have a slight idea about the world she means, but I still am not sure who this is. I know for sure I'm not talking to Stas anymore, because her voice changed all of a sudden and it is much lower and even slower than the normal way Anastasia talks. 'What world are you talking about?' I add to my list of questions, hoping she can answer them all.
          I curse myself for not carrying my notebook with me at the moment, so I can't write down what I see and hear, so I have to remember it all now. I hope my memory won't leave me alone now, because I can't make mistakes when doing my job. I know Killian, our prince Charming, cannot just fire me, but he can probably pull some strings and even get the influencial people to 'let me go'. He sort of knows about my drinking habit and I know he drinks too, but as much as I do. I don't want anyone to know that, because they might start treating me like a patient instead of a doctor and that is a thing I really don't want to happen. I told Killian before half an hour ago and I will tell anyone over and over again: I am not crazy. I am not like the people here. I don't have a mental illness and I wasn't born with it for sure. I lead a completely normal life, up until the point where I lost my soulmate and my one true love. Up until then, everything was fine. I hardly knew my father, but that didn't quite matter to me. My mother made sure me and my siblings had everything we could possibly ask for and today I am still grateful for that. I look at Stas and I wait for her answers to my questions, even though I am not quite sure I will get them.


    I, Tahani Al-Jamil, shall do my level best to make every event too much.

    LUKAS “LUKA” HEATHFORD


    Patient • 22 • PTSD • hallways • Killian

    Lukas looked at Jethro thankfully when he stood by him when telling the doctors all of this was one big joke and not real. They gave us a disease and then made money from us. Lukas was relieved when the people in the room let him wander around freely.
          Lukas was on the verge of leaving the Common Area, when Jethro started talking again. ”I can help you read if you want, or we could play a game. I assume they have playing cards, or some chess, checkers maybe? From experience I can tell that that is a lot more fun than isolation,” he said.
          Lukas turned around again, not quite knowing what he should say now. Jethro seemed like a nice guy, with good intentions. However, for Lukas he was too much of a know-it-all, some teachers pet. Or in this case, a doctor’s pet. Besides this one time then. He looked at the guy and shrugged. “Maybe later,” Lukas said, before turning around again.

    “Maybe you should listen to Jethro, Lukas,” Killian then said, “because Adaline might be so nice as to get you out of your room, but I will not hesitate to put you into an isolation cell for a few days. We are here to help you, not to punish you, but we can not help you if you only contradict us. I hope you understand that. Now, go play a little game until dinner and make some friends,” he continued.
          Lukas saw him grabbing one of the books that was on the floor and sat down on the big chair in the corner. He opened his book and started reading. Lukas once again turned his face back towards the Common Area and stared at Killian reading in the chair. Then he made the abrupt decision to walk towards him, pulling him out of his chair and pulling him towards one of the many hallways in this building.
          ”Mister Cliffwood looks exactly like one of these doctors that would say anything in return for money. Do you truly have intentions to help us patients mister Cliffwood? Or are you just starring in one big play?” Lukas said and he grinned. Then he realised he still held Killian arm, so he let go of that. Lukas stroked the wall with his fingers that they stood next to and his eyes watched his fingers move. ”Isolation will only make me worse..” he whispered. “Don’t do it.. Don’t.. Do it..”


    I have no idea what I am doing.

    [ bericht aangepast op 26 maart 2017 - 16:30 ]


    That is a perfect copy of reality.

    Anastasia "Stas" Florence Chau-Se
    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”


    24 • Dissociative identity disorder • Her Room • Doctor Galloway

    'Who are you talking about?' he asks. His voice keeps me surprisingly calm. It gives me something cling on to while a rush of emotions and dark thoughts is swirling through my mind. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, shaking my head. 'Who is keeping you... here? What world are you talking about?' He keeps answering questions and I want to answer them, but my throat is burning and feels dry. I try to clasp it and wrap my long, pale fingers around it. I keep breathing strangely, but through those actions I am able to pronounce some words.
          'Under... underworld,' I hiss, 'the world of the death... he is the lord, their lord.' I look up at him with my big, brown eyes. 'Please... help me.' My previous psychiatrist have found out why this is one of my personalities. They told me it is the feeling I got when I was with my father. They told me his actions is why one of my personalities is trapped. They wanted me to deal with it and remember it, but I couldn't. I still can't. I shake my head and look up. Slowly the door starts to open and I know it's him, I'm sure of it. A short, high pitched scream leaves my mouth and I quickly back off into the corner between the bed and the wall, but when I blink the door hasn't opened at all. I clamp my fingers around the bars of the bed, so hard my knuckles start to get completely white, even whiter dan my skin. I keep staring at the door, afraid it will re-open. 'He... he wants to come and get me,' I whisper in a soft, trembling voice. 'He trapped me down here and I can only come up when spring arrives.' I quickly glance at Norman, but avert my eyes back to the shut door. What if he comes in now? Will Norman stop him? Or will Norman help him? No, Norman wouldn't, would he? 'You... you can't help him, doctor Galloway,' I voice my thoughts. 'If you... h-help... he is evil. He will hurt me.' I shiver. 'He...,' I press my eyes closed and one tear escapes from my eye. 'He hurt me.... t-touched me.'


    诶艾诶娜哦诶娜艾诶


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    Killian Theodore Cliffwood
    Mephobia is the fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everyone dies... no, wait, I already am.”


    29 • Narcissistic • The Common Area • Whoever is there
    ’Killian, would you mind if I leave you with the patients for just a minute? There’s something I need to do...,' Adaline says and I look up at her. She doesn't look all that comfortable and I can guess why that is. She just got informed that her baby will be taken out next week. She should be happy though, because I am helping her get rid of a lot of trouble. I nod shortly and focus again on the book in my lap. I can only read two lines when I'm already interrupted. This time by Henry. I look up at him.
          ’You play?’ he asks, looking exhausted. He starts shuffling cards and I nod in agreement. ‘How are you doing, Killian? Seemed a bit of a messy situation here, just a minute ago.’
          'Thank you for your concern Henry,' I tell him and put my book away, realising I won't get a chance to read anymore. 'I am perfectly fine. This is nothing I have not handled before, so you do not have to worry about me. I am here to deal with situations like these.' I sit up straight. 'How are you doing? You look rather tired, Henry. You can always take a nap, you know that. We will wake you when dinner is served.' I barely have a second to just sit there with Henry when I am suddenly pulled away. I am too shocked to respond angrily and then I see it is Lukas who is dragging me away.
          ”Mister Cliffwood looks exactly like one of these doctors that would say anything in return for money. Do you truly have intentions to help us patients mister Cliffwood? Or are you just starring in one big play?' he says and I look at him, my eyebrows raised. He decides to let go of me, which is a smart decision, because the guards are already closing in. 'Isolation will only make me worse..' he whispers. 'Don’t do it.. Don’t.. Do it..'
          'You do not get to do that,' I say, not responding to anything he just said. 'You are currently crossing a line, mister Heathford.' I grab his arm and take him back to the Common Room. I push him down on a chair. 'If you want to have a conversation with me, you can just talk to me here. The next time you attack me like that, I will make sure you will be stuck in isolation and I will make sure it will help.' I look up at Henry again, breathing heavily, but getting my anger under control.
          'Lukas, Jethro, you can join if you want, but I do not want any disturbances. Don't do anything stupid.'

    The call me Charming, no, no, not prince... Doctor,
    Doctor Charming.


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    Dr. Adaline Baker

    28 Doctor Edward's Office



          Softly I bite the inside of my cheek, as I realize I have interrupted a therapy-session. I know very well that Edward won’t take this simple fact kindly, though I can only hope that it won’t have any effect on the rest of our – undeniably awkward – conversation.
          ’Come in, have a seat.’
          I try to give him a kind smile – hiding my fear – and do as he has told me, as I take a seat before his desk. If I didn’t know any better, I’d feel as if I were one of his patients; vulnerable, alone, small. But I’m not, so I straighten my posture and look him in the eye, trying to find the right words.
          ’I’m very sorry for interrupting you and your patient, Edward. . .’ I begin apologetically, ‘Everyone else has already finished their initial conversation. Had I know you were still- Anyway.’
          I take a deep breath. After Normal’s reaction towards the news, I can’t imagine this going very well – imagine if I have to tell the gentlemen that I’m not entirely sure who’s child it might be. What an awful human being I must be to have brought myself into this situation, certainly as I have already pulled both Norman and Killian into this mess. But I have to be honest. I couldn’t live with the guilt of keeping this from them. And after this, Killian will make all this go away and perhaps we can pretend it never even happened.
          ’I’m not really sure how to tell you this, Edward. . . So I’m just going to come out with it. I’m pregnant, Edward. . . And I- Well. After a week or so, this ‘ll all go away. I just thought you should know,’ I mutter, not hiding my slightly disturbed and worried frown.


    A girl who wonders.

    HENRY NICHOLAS REIGN

    24 • Depressed/Suicidal • Patient




    ‘Thank you for your concern, Henry. I am perfectly fine. This is nothing I have not handled before, so you do not have to worry about me. I am here to deal with situations like these. . . How are you doing? You look rather tired, Henry. You can always take a nap, you know that. We will wake you when dinner is served.’
          How could I possibly tell him that I am simply always tired, lately? However, before I get the chance to respond, another patient – Lukas, I recall – walks up to him and roughly grabs him by the arm, muttering things about whether his intentions might be of the bad kind.
          For a second I ponder reacting and helping him, yet I quickly remind myself that Killian is a doctor and probably knows how to handle these kind of situations. So I stay seated, shuffling the deck of cards in my hands, until they both return and Killian pushes him onto one of the chairs.
          ’Lukas, Jethro, you can join if you want, but I do not want any disturbances. Don’t do anything stupid.’
          For a mere second I search for Lukas’ eyes, yet than I simply start handing out the right amount of cards for a nice game of poker. Even though we don’t really have any measure of stakes or cash, it’s still a game most people know how to play. To be honest, it’s one of the few – part from solitaire – I know myself.
          ’So. . . How long ‘till dinner?’ I mutter, trying to lighten to mood even the slightest bit. ‘I think we all can use some distraction right now, isn’t that right?’ I glance over to each of them, furrowing my brows just slightly.





    A girl who wonders.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • STAS' ROOM • STAS

    'Under... underworld, the world of the death... he is the lord, their lord. Please... help me.' She looks at the closed door and a scream leaves her mouth. She seems really scared and I wish I had my notebook here, so I could write things down, even though I know I will remember this. It's Stas, I will remember. He... he wnats to come and get me. He trapped me down here and I can only come up when spring arrives. You... you can't help him, doctor Galloway. If you... h-help... he is evil. He will hurt me. He... he hurt me... t-touched me.'
          I keep looking at the frightened girl, a tear leaves her eye and I keep looking at her. The door doesn't move and nobody will come in without knocking first. I will keep them out, even if they want to enter. I am trying to help her and that won't work if people barge in this room constantly. 'I will not help him,' I reassure her immediately. I will not help anyone, for that matter, except for my patients and myself, when it comes to it. 'I will not help anyone who harmed you.' I stop talking for a while as I keep looking at the scared girl in front of me. She seems really scared of something that isn't here. I don't know what it would be, but I know it's scary enough to completely throw Stas off her feet. 'Miss Chau-Se,' I start again, 'who are you talking about? Who touched you? What did he do to you that made you so scared of him?' I still am the doctor and I have to help her, I have to. I have to know what happened to her, who harmed her and who is responsible for this side of Anastasia. 'Is he here, in this building? Or... is he at home? In your head, maybe?' I don't want to complicate things, but I just have to know. Maybe this is just in her head...


    I, Tahani Al-Jamil, shall do my level best to make every event too much.

    LUKAS “LUKA” HEATHFORD


    Patient • 22 • PTSD • Common Area • Killian & Henry

    ”You do not get to do that,” Killian said, not responding to anything Lukas accused him off. “You are currently crossing a line, mister Heathford.” For real? No shit, Sherlock. Mister Crawford grabbed his arm and took him back to the Common Room. Lukas didn’t even bother to protest, knowing it would get him in more trouble. He did not need more trouble. He had enough of that already.
          Mister Crawford pushed him down on a chair. “If you want to have a conversation with me, you can just talk to me here. The next time you attack me like that, I will make sure you will be stuck in isolation and I will make sure it will help,” the man told him. Lukas looked up at him and frowned with one eyebrow. Did a doctor just threaten him? “Aha,” Lukas answered, not planning on giving him a sign that would tell Killian his threat scared him.
          Then Killian looked up at Henry again, breathing heavily. “Lukas, Jethro, you can join if you want, but I do not want any disturbances. Don't do anything stupid.” Lukas shrugged and looked at Henry, whom stared back at him. The guy simply started handing out the right amount of cards for a nice game of poker. “So. . . How long ‘till dinner?” Henry muttered. “I think we all can use some distraction right now, isn’t that right?” Henry glanced over to each of them, furrowing his brows just slightly.
          Lukas shrugged again “I assume so?” he answered, glaring at Killian for a moment. Something about this man was so evil it gave Lukas the urge to end him here and now. The only thing that kept him from doing it was his still working brain, his sometimes still working brain.
          ”So, yeah Killian.. When is dinner?” Lukas asked and then he turned to Henry.
          ”Do you know how to play this game?”


    Again, bad post. Sorry.

    [ bericht aangepast op 19 april 2017 - 22:44 ]


    That is a perfect copy of reality.

    Anastasia "Stas" Florence Chau-Se
    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”


    24 • Dissociative identity disorder • Her Room • Doctor Galloway

    'I will not help him,' he promises. It are only words, but somehow it makes me a bit calmer and I slowly nod. Okay, that is something. If he helps me, I will have less trouble with fighting him of. 'I will not help anyone who harmed you.' I nod again and rub the tears away from under my eyes. I take a deep, shuddering breath and look up at him. 'Miss Chau-Se,' he speaks 'who are you talking about? Who touched you? What did he do to you that made you so scared of him?' Slowly my calmness dissapears and I look scared again. I don't want to talk about him. I shake my head and fold my hands in front of my face. 'Is he here, in this building? Or... is he at home? In your head, maybe?'
          'My head?' I ask softly and blink. I shake my head slowly. 'Well... he stays in my head, but he is not made in my head... he is real. He...' I fall silent and spread my fingers a little so I can look through them at my doctor. 'He... d-daddy,' I squeak. 'He is at home... where my home used to be... I think.' I bite my lip hard, not wanting to say more about him, but I am afraid that if I don't, Doctor Galloway will get angry with me again. 'H-He...,' I whisper with a shivering voice. 'He is mean... a mean man,' I mutter and squeeze my eyes shut. 'I don't like him, but still... I love him.' I have never been able to help it. How can you un-love your own parents? Can they ever un-love you? I don't know, but I have never been able to. Maybe that makes me naive. I sigh deeply and close my eyes. I lean against the wall and then slowly open them again after a minute or so. I frown and look around, wiping away the tears. 'What was I talking about?'


    诶艾诶娜哦诶娜艾诶


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • STAS' ROOM • STAS

    'My head? Well... he stays in my head, but he is not made in my head... he is real. He... he... d-daddy.' I look at the girl. Just a minute ago she seemed less terrified and more assured that nobody would hurt her, but now she seems scared again. 'He is at home... where my home used to be... I think. H-he... he is mean... a mean man. I don't like him, but still... I love him.' She still sits on the bed and I look at her, waiting for more to come out of her mouth, but she closes her eyes and she keeps quiet now. Her father used to hit her? Harm her? Hurt her? I feel a certain kind of anger coming over me, but I decide not to let it get to me. Anastasia is the patient, not me. I just get mad because I loved my father to death, he was the best man I had ever known and he was taken away from me when I was only six years old. He never slapped me, my siblings or my mom, he was the loving dad everybody deserves. And Stas' father keeps on living while is certainly is a big jerk to his loved ones, has the right to keep on living? Life is unfair and this is why I don't believe in some kind of God. My father did nothing to deserve to die, while this man, Anastasia's father, definitely deserves to die a painful death.
          'What was I talking about?'
          I blink a few times, trying to get the image of my father out of my head. I can hardly remember his face because I was only six when he passed away and we don't have a photograph of him, but I do remember is voice and how I looked up to him, wanting to be just like him. 'You were talking about your father,' I answer her question after I find back my voice and I smile to her. I want her to feel safe and comfortable and now I just want to make sure Anastasia doesn't have to be afraid of somebody hurting her. Her dad can't come in and now I know what he did, I will fight him off. 'Is there more about him you would like to tell me? Then I can help you, Miss Chau-Se. I will help you cope.'


    I, Tahani Al-Jamil, shall do my level best to make every event too much.

    Anastasia "Stas" Florence Chau-Se
    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”


    24 • Dissociative identity disorder • Her Room • Doctor Galloway

    'You were talking about your father,' he says and I look up at him. He seems genuine. Can I trust him? I bite my lip. He isn't like my father. He won't hurt me. I guess. I think. I can trust him. I nod slowly. 'Is there more about him you would like to tell me? Then I can help you, Miss Chau-Se. I will help you cope.' Help me cope? Can he do that? I play with my fingers for a while, looking down and try to search for words. I have put in into words before. I had to. I had to talk about this, but it still hurts. It still scares me. I don't really understand it.
          'He touched me,' I whisper softly. 'S-Sometimes... he came walking in, at night and then...,' I shiver. 'He would t-touch me.' I look up at him with big, tearful eyes. 'And hit me when he got angry. I d-didn't understand what he was doing with me. I s-still don't really understand. I have never... they told me... the doctors, that he was sexually abusing me,' I mutter. 'That's in the files. I don't really get what they mean, I have never done stuff with people. I have been locked up since I was sixteen. I have never been with anyone or... not in that way. I guess I have been in love.' I fall silent for a while. 'They said my father wasn't in love with me,' I mutter. 'Because i asked them if that was the case, because they explained what they did.' I wrap my arms around myself and slowly start rocking back and forward. 'H-Have you ever been in love? With the girl on the desk... yes, you loved her,' I whisper. 'Did she ever hurt you? Is it possible to love someone without hurting them?' I look up at him and a tear escapes from my eyes. 'I don't think it is.'


    诶艾诶娜哦诶娜艾诶


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • STAS' ROOM • STAS

    'He touched me. S-sometimes... he came walking in, at night and then... he would t-touch me.' She explains what happened and how people responded to it and I can't help to be absolutely disgusted by the man she describes.
          'He shouldn't have touched you,' I mutter and I look at the girl. She seems truly upset and even scared. 'He won't come here,' I promise her.
          She then asks me a question about my love life and I don't really know what to do with it. Should I be honest or should I be the doctor and not let her anything know about her, about Beatrice? 'Yes... you loved her. Did she ever hurt you? Is it possible to love someone without hurting them? I don't think it is.'
          I still doubt what to say but I look at Anastasia and I sigh. 'I have been in love. I am still in love,' I tell her and I smile. I think of the photograph on my desk and I see her face, her blonde hair and her bright red lips. She always painted them red, I liked that. I loved it. She was just so happy. Until the last day her lips were red. I buried her with painted lips. Because it was the way she was. 'She was my wife...' I continue and I look at my left hand. I still wear the wedding ring I put on years ago, when we got married. Ten years, even more. I loved her with all my heart and she will be the one and only for me. Even though she died seven years ago, I haven't taken the ring off. I will not take it off, because then I think I will forget her. Every time I touch the ring, some kind of memory turns up in my brain and I loved that. 'She died. A long time ago.'


    I, Tahani Al-Jamil, shall do my level best to make every event too much.

    Anastasia "Stas" Florence Chau-Se
    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”


    24 • Dissociative identity disorder • Her Room • Doctor Galloway

    'He shouldn't have touched you,' he tells me and I look up at him, biting my lip. 'He won't come here,' he promises me and somehow his words are reassuring. 'I have been in love. I am still in love.' I want to ask him what happened to her, but he seems too deep in thought. 'She was my wife... She died. A long time ago.' A sad feeling rushes over me. She died. I slowly get up and walk towards him, I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck, giving him a hug. I am not usually a hugger, but I want him to feel better. He seems to have loved her and I can imagine it hurts, even though it was a long time ago. I do not hug him too long, because I know that is not appropriate, right? I step back and look at him, tugging my black hair behind my ear.
          'I am sorry, doctor Galloway,' I mutter softly. 'I am also sorry I stole your alcohol, I get it that you need it. It is like love in a bottle and you need a little bit of love.' I look down and close my eyes. 'Maybe...' I bite my lip. 'Maybe I can give you love?' I propose. 'My last doctor needed love too and he told me to give it to him.' I carefully tug at the buttons on my dress and slide one side off my shoulder. Mijn cheeks flush red. 'I do not mind,' I mutter and push the dress down both shoulder, shaking slightly. 'Just.. don't hurt me,' I whisper and I step towards him, laying my hands on his chest. I slide my hand a little down and press my lips softly on his cheek. My breathing fastens as I push my dress down so it slowly slides over my breasts. I shiver slightly and look up at him. 'You can touch me.'


    诶艾诶娜哦诶娜艾诶


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.